Quote:
Originally Posted by QuilterInVA
You will never be successful if you have doubt about your ability to maintain you loss. You need to develop a positive, can-do attitude.
I think this is one of the biggest myths in existence; and if you believe your doubts and take them too seriously, you MAKE it true.
People without doubts, sometimes are just naive. They don't know the risks, so they don't think about them. Or they're too arrogant to believe that they can fail. Many, many very accomplished people, who have succeeded at amazingly great things, had doubts (and still do).
It is'nt whether or not you have doubts, it's how you deal with them that matters.
When I believed that my doubts doomed me to failure, I let them.
Now, I realize that doubts are just doubts. They're thoughts, not reality.
How do I know I won't gain the weight back?
It's quite simple, I know that I WILL gain the weight back if I don't stick with the changes that got me where I am so far, and where I want to be.
The weight doesn't just "poof" magically appear when we have doubts. Our behavior has to "live the doubt." Doubts have no power, if we don't surrender to them and say "yep failure is inevitable, so why bother trying."
I know that I won't gain the weight back, because I have a PLAN, this time.
I don't ever plan on "going off" my diet. Sure when I get to goal weight, I could get cocky and think that eating binges don't matter, but as long as I'm getting on the scale every day, I'm going to notice and put a stop to it.
It's all about expectations. I don't expect my weight issues to ever disapppear. They're always going to be with me. I'm always going to struggle to keep my weight where I want it. So, I'm going to stay on top of it for the rest of my life. When I'm at goal, I know that I'm going to have to work to keep it there. I'm going to see gains and I'm going to have to work to lose them, but I decide whether to "do nothing" when I see that small gain on the scale.
I AM going to gain - and I'm going to lose and gain and lose and gain for the rest of my life. This isn't my doubt talking it's reality. I'm not going to reach goal weight and somehow magically stay there, I'm going to have to work just as hard at maintenance as losing. And in fact "maintenance" isn't going to really be maintenance, it's going to be gaining and losing, gaining and losing - but instead of gaining and losing 150 lbs, I'm going to be working with a pound or two. When I gain two or three pounds, I'm going to work to lose them, I'm not going to wait until I've gained 50. And I'm DEFINITELY NOT going to wait until I've gained it all back.
I won't ever again need to worry about gaining 150 lbs, because I've decided now that I'm never going to let it get that far. I'm going to deal with it right away, not let a 5 lb gain become a 50 lb gain.
I know this, because it's what I've been doing from the start of THIS journey. I decided from the very beginning, that this wasn't about weight loss for me, it was about maintaining (from the very first 20 lbs which I lost as a result of sleep apnea treatment rather than work on my part).
I didn't decide to lose weight. I decided to maintain my weight and "maybe lose one more pound." With every pound I've lost, I've kept that attitude "maintain the loss and maybe lose one more."
This isn't going to ever change (and if I change, so will my results. If I decide not to work at mainteanance, I will regain. That's not a doubt, that's a fact).
I'm not expecting magic, I know that I have to work for the rest of my life at this, and I'm ok with that. The work isn't unpleasant (I've done everything in my power to make it fun).
Say you had a heart attack. Having doubts and concerns about having another is natural and normal, but the doubts won't give you another heart attack. Deciding that you might as well eat junk and lie on the couch all day because another heart attack is inevitable so why bother taking care of yourself - well, it's not the doubts that will lead to the second heart attack, it's the lifestyle.
So in the face of doubt, talk yourself through the doubt. Make a list of what behaviors will lead to failure, and then make a list of what behaviors will prevent the failure.
Read the list, and cross off the behaviors that will lead to failure. Cross them out, because you've decided NOT to do those things. Then look at the success list, and make sure you're doing those things.
You have control over your behavior, and you even have a lot of control over your doubts (by addressing them with confidence. YOu KNOW what it takes to keep the weight off, so be committed to doing it. There you go, doubt successfully battled).
Of course it's not that simple (well it is, but doing it isn't). But we're warriors now, and the fight is for life. There is no "retiring" from weight loss.
The battle is with us for life, or we'll die on the battlefield.
You combat doubt and fear of failure, by taking steps to prevent the failure.
We don't tell soldiers not to feel fear and doubt, we tell them to do what needs to be done anyway.