Battling... Bit by Bit
I really feel that this journey toward a healthy relationship with food is a step by step process for most of us. In the beginning it's SO HARD, we all just want to eat that junk, and SO MUCH of it. It makes us feel good, emotionally, until of course it's over and the next day and we are filled with regret and disgust.
I feel - and wonder if this is the way it is with others- that this time is the time it's really "clicked" with me, even though I still have BIG binge issues. But, I can tell you this: I have binged at a restaurant and felt regret for what I ate and sick to my stomach after- which had never happened before; I actually felt like McDonalds tasted WEIRD after not having it for months; tonight in the face of a binge I ate what I wanted... but didn't stuff myself. I came home from a restaurant feeling full, yes, but not stuffed and gross. I went over my calories for the day, sure, but not close to what I would on a full out binge. I was able to just.. .breathe and stop. I'm 'that' much closer to a normal relationship with food. If we don't binge we won't wake up tomorrow and think, "Why did I not eat that food?"- we'll think, "I'm so glad I didn't eat all of that food."
My point is that the better you eat the easier it gets... even with setbacks and binges and all of that, if you keep on trucking you will get results and you will feel proud of yourself. Every little change matters. The fact that I was able to stop a binge matters, even if I over ate. Every minute I spend on the ellipical matters. Every food I say no to matters, and every good choice matters.
Such a ramble! But I just hope that you all realize EVERY choice you make matters, and it all adds up. Keep strong and keep going!!!!!!