Thank you all for opening my eyes. I've guess I've been so wrapped up in my own weight loss that I became insensitive to others. I WOULDN'T do this to my dorm roomate, or anyone else outside the family, so kaplods, you're right: why throw out or eat my sister's stuff?!?!? Ugh.
Well, I talked to her about it. She wasn't mad and I promised her not to do it again and that I won't pressure what she brings into the house. It's her prerogative. It's just a matter of my willpower, PMSing or not! hahaha
I came here to post, expecting some sympathy...what I got instead was much better. Initially, I was upset being told that I was wrong until I looked at the situation objectively, and then from my sister's perspective. Again, thanks for making me do so. My older sis and l are better off for it!!!
That's the spirit. It sucks to see that maybe you've been approaching this the wrong way, but you know, it's great to see something else come to light and help the situation. Recognize the other things your sister might do to help you-words of encouragement, etc. I recently quit smoking. Before I quit smoking, I'd see other smokers quit and say, "Great job!", but I'd still be smoking it up because I wasn't ready to quit. If someone had grabbed my smokes out of my hand and threw them away, I'd probably have gotten quite mad or vice versa. But, I quit when I was ready and things are great!
Thank you all for opening my eyes. I've guess I've been so wrapped up in my own weight loss that I became insensitive to others. I WOULDN'T do this to my dorm roomate, or anyone else outside the family, so kaplods, you're right: why throw out or eat my sister's stuff?!?!? Ugh.
Well, I talked to her about it. She wasn't mad and I promised her not to do it again and that I won't pressure what she brings into the house. It's her prerogative. It's just a matter of my willpower, PMSing or not! hahaha
I came here to post, expecting some sympathy...what I got instead was much better. Initially, I was upset being told that I was wrong until I looked at the situation objectively, and then from my sister's perspective. Again, thanks for making me do so. My older sis and l are better off for it!!!
Great attitude! I was really worried that you might take our advice the wrong way and run from 3FC. This is a great community, and as you can see, you'll always receive honest advice here, which makes it the perfect place to find support! I hope you stick around for a long time.
And I'm really glad you talked to your sister and worked everything out.
I came here to post, expecting some sympathy...what I got instead was much better. Initially, I was upset being told that I was wrong until I looked at the situation objectively, and then from my sister's perspective. Again, thanks for making me do so. My older sis and l are better off for it!!!
Glad it worked out, but don't think that you didn't get a whole lot of sympathy with the advice, too. Even though most of us told you what you SHOULD do, don't think that all of us have always been, or even now are perfect in doing the "shoulds" in our own lives.
I was raised in a household in which all food brought into the house was usually considered fair game for everyone. Unless you wrote your name on restaurant leftovers, they were considered community property. If you bought a bag of treats to take to work or school you had to tape a note to the items or go to every member in the household and say "don't eat these, they are for......" The note was the most reliable method, lest someone "forget."
Even now, when we get together we always share food, to the point it's kind of silly. My hubby of nearly 9 years is still creeped out by how we offer and ask to taste food from each others plates - or pass around a beverage to taste. Hubby's mom is a germaphobe, so he was definitely raised in a "no-sharing" home. He won't even eat day-old leftovers because they "might have gone bad."
Knowing what to do and doing it aren't always the same thing. I still have problems sometimes eating food that my husband and I agreed were to be considered his and off-limits to me. We keep finding and adjusting strategies to make it easier for me to keep my lips to myself (well for eating, anyway).
I write his name on things I don't want to have and I'd ask permission before eating anything I had put his name on it. Hubby didn't like this at first, because he said "you don't need my permission," and I said "Yes, I do - this is for me, not for you." Now if I do ask, he does say "are you sure you want it," (because I asked him to. He's not forbidding me, it was something I asked him to say). Sometimes I say, "You know, I really don't it was just calling to me." Other times I'll say "yes, I do want it, I'm planning it into my calories."
We also "hide" my trigger foods on the top shelf of the walk-in pantry. I know roughly where the foods are (on the top shelf, out of my reach), but not being able to see or reach them does help me forget they're there. To reach them, I have to go get a stepstool (deliberately not left in the closet), bring it back, and then retrieve the food. The several seconds it takes to do that, usually reminds me how foolish I'm being, and if it doesn't I never bring the whole packaged of treats with me, just one small serving. Then I put the step stool away. To eat a second serving, I have to get out the step stool again.
I won't lie, I have gotten snacks from the top shelf occasionally (but not often), but I've never yet (knock on wood) gone for a second helping.
That's not to say I've never eaten snacks I shouldn't. My husband doesn't always remember to put his snacks where I can't reach them - and while it's my responsibility to avoid the food, not his to hide it - I don't always do what I know I should.
Knowing what to do is the first step, actually doing it is often harder.
I am still a huge fan of the "get a mini-fridge" club. Maybe you could buy it for her as a gift? If you are on a tight budget, maybe you could look on Craigslist and see if you can find a more affordable one. Then your sister can keep her treats out of (your) sight, out of (your) mind - AND she will have a new fridge. Win-win!
I am still a huge fan of the "get a mini-fridge" club. Maybe you could buy it for her as a gift? If you are on a tight budget, maybe you could look on Craigslist and see if you can find a more affordable one. Then your sister can keep her treats out of (your) sight, out of (your) mind - AND she will have a new fridge. Win-win!
The problem with mini-fridges is that most do not have a very big freezer compartment. The ones I've used and seen barely hold big enough to store a small, specially made ice cube tray and one or two popsicles or frozen burritos. If you can find one that fits one or two small lean cuisine dinners, you're lucky. I've only ever seen one that would hold even a pint of icecream.
There are larger mini-fridges and small mini-freezers, but I think if OP were to buy one or both, it would make more sense for her to buy and use it herself. That way she doesn't have to look at everyone else's food all day, and she can take it to college with her.
Right now, OP wouldn't even have to keep all her food in there, she could just plan out what she wanted to eat the next day, and then either the night before or the morning of, put that food in her mini-fridge.
At most, she'd have to go to the family fridge once a day to stock her own fridge.
Great attitude! I was really worried that you might take our advice the wrong way and run from 3FC. This is a great community, and as you can see, you'll always receive honest advice here, which makes it the perfect place to find support! I hope you stick around for a long time.
And I'm really glad you talked to your sister and worked everything out.
I did too! I thought people were being a little harsh and bossy! Myself included! But we didn't mean it that way and she took it perfectly. Love to hear it!
To be honest, I am having trouble with family support too. My dad thinks women should be thicker so he's completely against my diet.
He keeps laughing at my attempts, making me feel REALLY stupid.
He keeps trying to take me to McDonald's -my vice-. And I don't NEED for him to be there for me in this. I'm doing well on my own. It's just that he's rubbing good food in my face. Like literally.
I get too pissed to even be tempted to eat it. Which I guess is a good thing.
I keep telling him he's horrible but we end up laughing it off.
Glad you understood. 3FC is a very supportive community, and no one in any way would want you to feel as though we are unsympathetic. Everyone feels exactly as you did at one point or another!
Can you get some "diet" food, like low cal fudge pops or such and keep them next to hers? That way when you open the freezer, you can grab curb your sweet tooth too.
Hey, we all understand Unless she's living under a rock, there's not one chick here who hasn't faced something similar, and then there are those that deal with it daily. We sympathize!! We just have to tell you (and OURSELVES) that it's our problem only! Eek.
To be honest, I am having trouble with family support too. My dad thinks women should be thicker so he's completely against my diet.
He keeps laughing at my attempts, making me feel REALLY stupid.
He keeps trying to take me to McDonald's -my vice-. And I don't NEED for him to be there for me in this. I'm doing well on my own. It's just that he's rubbing good food in my face. Like literally.
I get too pissed to even be tempted to eat it. Which I guess is a good thing.
I keep telling him he's horrible but we end up laughing it off.
When he tells you women should be thicker and takes you to McDonald's, ask him if women should have heart attacks, diabetes, strokes, early death?
One of my mottos is "The world is not going to put the cookies(or in your case, the ice cream lol) away for you to lose weight!" So you just have to plain say no to stuff. My house is full of junkfood 24\7 and my sister eats candy around me all the time, and I haven't touched any junk stuff the whole month of july. I was just sick of telling myself no and then eating stuff.
So now its just plain NO! No matter what for me.
