Your post made me cry. I have been going in the wrong direction for the past couple years because I didn't believe that I could ever reach my goal. I stopped worrying about not eating too much, and that caused me to gain 50 pounds in two years. I came back to this site not too long ago, but I still wasn't convinced that it was worth the effort. After reading your post, I can see how it is sooo worth it. Thanks for your wisdom!!!!
I have felt the same way you do right now so many times. So many times, I dieted and binged. I have been thin, I have been obese and everything in between. It wasn't until I was willing to work through it all that I came to understand a lot about myself, my food history and what I am willing to do to stop the crazies when it comes to eating. I think of it this way, obesity is as serious as cancer and can cause my premature death if I let it spiral out of control. If the doctor prescribed a treatment plan for cancer, I would follow it to the letter in order to improve my chances of living. When I firmly believed I would never hit 300 pounds and DID, I knew it was only a matter of time. I had to develop a treatment plan. Weighing over 300 pounds was not living anymore. I was miserable.
It took a willingness to do a reality check. Reality checks are not easy to deal with, but necessary. I had to stop blaming my mother, my stress level, my loneliness for my bingeing. I had to develop strategies to stay on my diet and continue on. I am learning that I have to use some sort of control with eating and that I have to do this the rest of my life. Calorie counting is vital to my understanding of what my body needs. Carb counting is necessary for control of my blood sugar. It's not always fun and exciting to have to monitor my eating, but what is the alternative? Feeding an emotional hunger that can never be satisfied?
There are so many ways of losing weight, strategies to maintaining weight loss and dealing with social situations and cravings. Create your own personal "toolbox" of all the things you learn that you like to do to help yourself get to a normal weight and stay there. For me, I found that if I eat my meals from a small bowl (portion control) and choose low carb foods, I am able to lose weight and keep my blood sugar in a normal range. I write a post to my blog daily, which helps with my emotional side and in understanding my behaviours. I have also learned to accept that it takes a daily treatment plan to work with. I accept that I must do these things daily in order to live a healthy and vital life. I will never be able to eat as I once did. the payoff for that is to never feel as awful as I did at my top weight. Not a bad trade off!
Remember, you have the power of making the right choices.
I can't really answer about calorie counting. I've lost my weight without calorie counting but by giving up/limiting foods that I'm prone to binge with (I struggle with overeating sweets and just sweets so cutting them out means I actually eat well). That being said, I know I'll always have to be aware of this, especially during difficult times in my life. It does get easier the longer that I've been with my plan (about a year now) but sometimes my first instinct is to grab chocolate rather than real food and I just can't let my guard down.
During my last pregnancy I had your attitude and you just have to look at my ticket to understand how much I regret that!!!!! I went from 175lbs to 240lbs!!!!!! I did actually lose some weight prepregnancy to get down to 175lbs but I just forgot about everything I had learned and ended up gaining way more than I should of. Next time around I plan to use what I've learned so far and keep up clean eating+exercise to limit the weight gain.
I can also tell you that being very overweight during a pregnancy is no fun! My joints hurts all the time and physically it was a huge challenge for me. I was lucky that everything turned out OK with my daughter but I did have a miscarriage after her and I was over 200lbs when I got pregnant so I can't say for sure if that contributed or not. I do know that I'm trying to work my butt off now before getting pregnant again to do everything I can in my power to have a healthy pregnancy.
I have felt the same way you do right now so many times. So many times, I dieted and binged. I have been thin, I have been obese and everything in between. It wasn't until I was willing to work through it all that I came to understand a lot about myself, my food history and what I am willing to do to stop the crazies when it comes to eating. I think of it this way, obesity is as serious as cancer and can cause my premature death if I let it spiral out of control. If the doctor prescribed a treatment plan for cancer, I would follow it to the letter in order to improve my chances of living. When I firmly believed I would never hit 300 pounds and DID, I knew it was only a matter of time. I had to develop a treatment plan. Weighing over 300 pounds was not living anymore. I was miserable.
It took a willingness to do a reality check. Reality checks are not easy to deal with, but necessary. I had to stop blaming my mother, my stress level, my loneliness for my bingeing. I had to develop strategies to stay on my diet and continue on. I am learning that I have to use some sort of control with eating and that I have to do this the rest of my life. Calorie counting is vital to my understanding of what my body needs. Carb counting is necessary for control of my blood sugar. It's not always fun and exciting to have to monitor my eating, but what is the alternative? Feeding an emotional hunger that can never be satisfied?
There are so many ways of losing weight, strategies to maintaining weight loss and dealing with social situations and cravings. Create your own personal "toolbox" of all the things you learn that you like to do to help yourself get to a normal weight and stay there. For me, I found that if I eat my meals from a small bowl (portion control) and choose low carb foods, I am able to lose weight and keep my blood sugar in a normal range. I write a post to my blog daily, which helps with my emotional side and in understanding my behaviours. I have also learned to accept that it takes a daily treatment plan to work with. I accept that I must do these things daily in order to live a healthy and vital life. I will never be able to eat as I once did. the payoff for that is to never feel as awful as I did at my top weight. Not a bad trade off!
Remember, you have the power of making the right choices.
What an insightful, inspiring post! I completely agree with your advice. I used to have a major tendency to let the whiny inner three-year-old take over my thoughts sometimes. I became resentful because I could not eat like "normal" people do (i.e., eat a moderate portion naturally). However, I have now come to terms [for the most part] with the fact that I am not like those people. I do have to count calories because I'm not good at estimating. I like to think of it like this: I have to take special steps concerning my weight. Others do not, but perhaps they fall short in other areas---e.g., perhaps they're poor at managing finances or poor at relating to people (both of which I'm usually very good at). We all have our Achilles' heel. Mine happens to be eating.
I do know that I'm trying to work my butt off now before getting pregnant again to do everything I can in my power to have a healthy pregnancy.
