Does anyone else work with skinny people who are always talking about how fat they are right in front of you, who is clearly fat? 2 of the members on my team are early 20's (as am I) girls who say stuff like "I'll break this table sitting on it I'm so fat" or "I don't know how I'm so skinny when I eat so badly" when they are like 110-120 pounds and my height (5'4). It is depressing, especially because they know I have lost a lot of weight and eat healthy, but I'm definitly not thin yet. It is kinda depressing hearing talk like this.
I don't work with a lot of thin people, but I know the type you mean. It's annoying, to say the least. Sometimes I think they're fishing for compliments, which I refuse to give them. If I hear them say, "I'm really fat" or something like that, I just try to ignore it completely. Very rarely does someone that thin actually think she's really "fat."
I had a friend in high school that always said that (to get attention) and I finally got tired of it and grabbed my belly fat in front of everyone and said "NO! this is fat!!" xD
Back when I actually was thin, I thought I was a little chubby. I'm 5'8" and I was 114 lbs!! Looking back at pictures, I don't know how I ever thought I was fat! I'd kill to be even 150 right now. I think my point is that everyone has body issues. But I was never one to complain to others - that is obviously attention seeking behavior. Like those thin people are just looking for others to say that they aren't fat. I don't work with anyone like that. Good thing, because I'd probably want to slap them. Lol.
I have the exact opposite problem. Well, I do have one coworker who behaves similarly to yours. But then I have two other coworkers who are morbidly obese and constantly discourage my efforts to lose weight. For example, our office orders take out for lunch every Friday. I stopped partaking because I lose about twice as much weight when I just avoid restaurants. (I do allow myself one restaurant treat meal every month, which keeps me from feeling deprived.) My coworker - who I refer to as "Little Limbaugh" on the interwebs - begs me to eat with them every Friday.
Last week, we had a birthday celebration and ordered cupcakes. When she asked what I was going to do, I said I'd just avoid the cupcakes. (Full disclosure: I ended up eating one. Ack. I have so little will power over chocolate!) She said, "You know, all that deprivation is just going to screw you over in the end. You'll boomerang back." 1) I cannot stand unsolicited advice. 2) I told her, "Uh, I eat chocolate for breakfast every morning." (Special K protein bars - oh my god, they're delicious and 110 calories each.) She said, "Oh..." and walked away.
I do agree with kurbain to an extent. When I was much thinner (100-120lbs), I constantly complained with my girlfriends about how fat I was. We'd all grab what little skin we could pinch from our stomachs and moan about how much weight we needed to lose. Of course, now that I'm older - and heavier - I can look back on pictures from that time period and wonder what the heck I was thinking. We all wish we were thinner, leaner, more toned, had straight hair, curly hair, had longer legs, tighter abs, etc. Still, they should know better than to go on like that at work. It makes them sound like children! (And it is attention-seeking behavior, for sure.)
Haha. 50-60lbs ago, I still thought I was fat! Now I look at those pictures and think 'Wow... I looked good! I hope I can get back to that weight! I can't believe I thought I was fat'.
The problem is, most women always think they are fat. Heck, some models think they are fat. Those girls you work with, also, probably have some weight that they would like to lose. Unless you really feel that they are doing it do make you feel bad about yourself, I doubt that it is malicious. At 130lbs I used to say it too.
However! I really did use to think I was fat. I was small, with a big butt, and had a hard time buying jeans, even though I was a size 4-6. I never looked athletic, and I wanted to. But at the time, I was 'allergic' to sweating.
Now I know what fat really is! Because I am legitimately fat! I feel like when I lose this weight, no matter what, I will no longer say I'm fat. Because, when I do lose it, I will really have known what it's like to be fat, sad, and out of shape!
'Fatness' is mostly relative. Right now, fat to me is what I weigh. Skinny to me is what I used to weigh. Back then, my weight gain was much smaller. Fat to me was gaining 5 lbs, even though I still looked good.
That is definitely a childish behavior. I don't work with anyone like that (I work in a library full of older women), but I have been around them. I just ignore them when they *****. I know they want me to tell them how skinny they are. When I ignore them, they stop.
work mates, friends, family...its all around. I hate it. My sister is 5'9 and in her 140s..no fat in sight. and she always says that shes fat and needs to lose 10 pounds. I could die lol Its torture. I wish to be that small.
sometimes I think its rude but at the end of the day we have to remember that we are women and naturally we always feel we can improve. even the size zeros sadly.
Last edited by ChunkySmoo; 07-24-2011 at 01:45 PM.
I agree with m3k. Unless you feel they're indirectly talking to you, I think they really do think they're fat. Actually, you're judging their "fat".
chunkysmoo commented that her 5'9" sis in her 140s is skinny. A model at 5'9" may be 120 and consider her sis fat.
It's all in the eyes of the beholder...or more like...it's all in the eyes of the person, not the observer to make that sort of judgement.
I am very careful how I mention my trouble areas and I try to always make mentioning them a point to be learned from. Like, skinny people can be fat/unfit. People don't get model thin, their God-given shape just shrinks, so if you always had a big butt, your butt will always be biggest on you no matter what your weight is, etc.
These girls may just be pointing out their shape but are ignorant to what they're really talking about. It may just be the two point I listed above is all they mean about themselves.
Here's an analogy. I view myself to be a pretty woman. But I know my nose is not like a model - it's wide, with a bulb at the end, and uneven bone structure. When I've mentioned (usually in a humorous setting) that I know my nose is big, 100% of the time, people say to me, "Oh NO it's not! You're beautiful!". Well, thanks for the compliment, but I never said I wasn't beautiful, I just said I know my nose is big.
So maybe the girls are just pointing out their biggest features in a sense, but not really believing they're "fat". Perhaps you can say to them something like, "You're not really fat, it's just your shape is pear. I think it adds character to your beauty." That way, you can turn something negative into a positive.
Body image and body weight don't always equate. There are women on here who are happy to be naked for their husbands at 300lbs+ and feel sexy, and I can promise you somewhere a 'slim' woman of 110lbs is too afraid to do the same for hers.
I'm 129lbs now and my stomach looks like a 100 year old's face due to bad pregnancy stretching. While I may look slim, my self esteem is somewhat shot from that, a low scale number alone doesn't make you feel better about yourself, one of the cold hard facts of maintenance.
I do find it incredibly rude for someone to complain of their weight to people, especially when their listener is obviously larger. I knew someone like that. It really is a case of (a) fishing for compliments, or (b) poor body image (and usually both).
It is a reflection of that person rather than a reflection of you. Of course, it still hurts. I would be blunt and tell that person - you are fishing for compliments and insulting me. Please stop.
I said that once. It wasn't about weight, it was about breast size (she was a C cup and complaining she was so flat, here I am at a 32B when engorged after a baby, and an under-A cup without nursing) And boy did it shut her up as she was completely embarassed to be called out for her behaviour.
Sad in the sense that I feel sorry for them that they do not realize it is NOT their bodies but their thinkin' that is stinkin'.
If it is body image distortion -- it's a shame and I hope they get help.
If it is that weird female bonding thing where you pick at yourself and your pal goes "Oh, no! Totally not!" -- it's a shame they can't find a better way to bond than tearing themselves down waiting for others to pick them back up.
I feel one should value oneself and pick one's own self up!
I hope they understand how hearing that talk affects children around them. I think it feeds the body distortion in later generations.
I've said as much to a few of the worst ones.
But yes, it can get old to listen to.
I'm planted firmly in the land of obesity with metabolism problems and weight loss os hard for me. It's hard to listen to that stuff and not want to internally roll your eyes and go "You think YOU have fat problems? Puhleeze!"
But that would continue the female body bashing culture, and I don't want to add to that or model that for my daughter.
We may not all be as fit as we'd like, but there are no wrong shapes. There's no wrong trees or wrong clouds -- there's simply isn't any wrong people shapes.
Everyone has body image issues. We are our own worst critics. While I see someone who is my height/age/whatever at 135 pounds & they complain of being fat, I don't automatically assume they are "fishing" for compliments. What I assume is that, for them, 135 lbs IS fat.
A woman I work with is 300+ pounds and she has LOST about 60 pounds already. Her goal weight is 195. Now, I was 192, & am currently 164... she thinks I AM SKINNY, and doesn't understand why I want to "lose more weight".
So you see, everyone sees themselves quite differently than you see them. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to never compare ourselves to others. Not in body weight, not in finances, not in education, not in any form, shape or manner - NOTHING. Because that does nothing but be destructive to our self-esteem. And seriously, who needs that?
OMG!!!! I always go to the gym with my boss who happens to be a size 4 lol. She's always talking about how out of shape she is and blah blah blah. Now i know there are out of shape skinny people but it's always funny to me when they talk about it with someone like me, who is obviously not in the best shape. Lol. We are kool about it and i always joke with her!
My friend (who weighs less than me but is not skinny) always says "I really need to do something about this weight." Finally, one day, I said "I'm doing WW, why don't you do it with me?" She declined and has not said anything since!
Skinny Workmates
