[kater9985]

I was on the elevator today and a lady said 'are you expecting?' i said know no, and the rest of the elevator ride was an embarrassing silence. I've never felt so embarrassed. I'm hoping to use this as a motivation tool, but its hard not to take it too personal.

[Lovely]

Welcome to the forums =)

Yeah. You can't imagine how many times I've heard very similar stories from 3FC members.

I've never asked a person if they were pregnant, but after reading the stories and how they made other people feel I made a promise that I would not make a comment on how a woman is pregnant unless I saw the baby coming out... or, ya know... when she mentions being pregnant first.

[mzKiki]

Sorry hun (hugs) One day this will be very, very funny. I know that doesn't help.
Once my sis and I went to buy booze for a party and my sister picked up a bottle coconut rum and said "I'm hiding this one, it's just for me." and the girls at the register told her that they wouldn't sell her anything because she shouldn't be drinking while pregnant. Of course she wasn't pregnant, just about 25 lbs overweight. AWKWARD!! But we do laugh about it now.

[kimicat76]

first off.... WELCOME TO 3FC!!! and i feel you on that! its one of my major weight loss motivators. im sick of everytime i go to walmart someone up there asks me if i was pregnant! its just plain rude...... i just tell them nope i just REALLY like food haha

[kater9985]

Thanks all! I am definitely trying to turn this into a motivator instead of letting it get the best of me. I'm hoping I can look back on this day and see it as a turning point I just wonder if she was the first to say it, how many other people have thought it. ugh, so maybe i needed the wake up call.

[KittyKat1465]

Lol I would have said "Yup. It's a food baby!" Lol

[FireFlying]

I work in a job where I interact a lot with the public. Last year when I was 15 lbs heavier I would get these types of comments, I swear for about 6 months there I'd get one like once a month! The first time it happened it really bothered me, but after that it didn't phase me. I decided these people were just being dodos. I had a gut but they're the ones being dumb for not being able to tell the difference between a gut and a pregnant belly!

One time this man asked, "Is it a boy or girl?" and I looked up, looked him dead in the eye, and said, "Neither," looked back down and continued on with helping him in my usual friendly way. I wasn't rude or anything, just said what I said and went about my business. He was so embarrassed that he even said anything, hahaha. In my experience every time I've told someone I wasn't pregnant, they got really embarrassed or quiet after that. There's no reason for you to feel ashamed and yeah try not to take it personal if you can, chin up

[alaskanlaughter]

tell them you're having kittens

[sheramama]

Aw that happened to me at work, by someone I barely knew. It made me feel self-conscious all day. Just think, when you get to your goal, people will approach you and ask, "I'd kill to look like you. Can I ask you what your secret is?"

[mamakat]

Had that happen to me when I was 19 and only 145lbs. The fashion was big flowing shirts and I have a very ample amount on top It was a a christian youth function and a pastor of somekind came up to me and asked when I was due. The aweful part wasn't being asked that but the fact that I had just finished losing 50lbs! I was crushed, not for being overweight because I wasn't but that it didn't make a difference big or small-ish. People are insensitive. I had worked so hard to win the man that I loved love (who by the way invited me there so I was stoked before this happened). After that I just wondered if he saw the real me or was he lost in the past. Did I look pregnant to him? Sad part was I couldn't lose weight to change that moment in time. Good part...it's in the past.
Welcome to the forum, it's great.

[gagalu]

ahhhh, it's so awkward for everyone when that happens! definitely don't take it personally. use it as motivation, as you've been saying!

[theCandEs]

It's happened to me, too. Of course, I was outraged the 2 times it happened, but I really think it had to do with my clothes. The shirts I had on at the time were really big. I stopped wearing those shirts, and the comments stopped, too. I think I still look pregnant now, though. I've had 2 babies, and 2 c-sections, so the belly is still saggy. Not sure if I will ever not look pregnant.

[lin43]

In my 30's, I was asked that twice. The first time, I almost cried. The second time, I guess I was more hardened by it because I just shrugged and said, "No, just fat." I was hoping the person would be embarrassed. I have very little sympathy for ignorant people who ask that question.

[tricon7]

I just thought of a funny reversal - wait until you're really pregnant. Then when someone says something about the baby, look embarrassed and reply, "Um, I'm not pregnant" just to see what they do.

[SMess]

I really think it had to do with my clothes. The shirts I had on at the time were really big. I stopped wearing those shirts, and the comments stopped, too.

I agree! My best friend Emma was just telling me about how her landlord (who they really don't see much) had been telling the tenets upstairs that Emma was pregnant - with twins! Emma is a size four and has a very flat tummy, so there was no way he could have mistaken her for pregnant if she'd been wearing normal clothes. Apparently when it happened, though, she'd been ill and had been wearing baggy sweats out and about. He even dropped off a pile of baby books as a goodbye present when they moved!

Clothes definitely don't help, but neither do the people saying them. I think sometimes people project their own issues onto others, and I know that their landlord was jealous of people who had kids. You never know what's going on inside a person's head that makes them say something like that, but I agree that the best way to go about it is just not to say anything at all. Unless someone specifically tells me they're preggers, I'll keep my thoughts to myself.