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I've picked food over living.

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Old 07-09-2011, 06:59 PM   #1
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Default I've picked food over living.

Food obsession is literally destroying my life. For the past 20 years food has been my friend, husband, comfort ,pleasure, just about everything. The one thing I have put the most effort in my life has been eating above anything else. I have been advised countless times by my family especially by my mother who is desperate for me to have family and make something out of my life.

She is always saying to me, if you donít do something about yourself now, you will deeply regret it later in life. There are people who are overweight and still get on with their lives; Iím not that sort of person. I hide myself in my house from living, due to my weight, I have been doing that for many years.
If you read the introduction post Iíve posed it will tell you a lot about me. Iím still in the same situation except now I weight even more I ever did. See after that post I lost over 60 pounds by working extremely hard and exercising for the first time in my life.
Instead of carrying on, what do I do? I stopped everything and gained all the weight back, plus another 50 pounds in the space of 1 year. I Ďm 31 years old, But I feel like I have the intelligence of a child. I hide food, donít hold myself to account and I rely on motivation to do anything.
Iím scared for my health, Iím always tired, easily of breath, canít keep up with people. I weight 283 pounds and that number is going up every day.

I need help .

Sumuya.
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:01 PM   #2
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Sumuya,

You are not alone here. Many people here have chosen food over living. Replace the word "food" with alcohol or narcotics and re-read your post. Sounds familiar. Perhaps starting with Overeaters Anonymous may help you. Good luck
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Mini-goal 1: 140lbs*Achieved January 20th, 2013
Mini-goal 2: 135lbs*Achieved February 18th, 2013
Mini-goal 3: 130lbs*Achieved April 8, 2013
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:06 PM   #3
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I hear you. I was the same way.. I hid in my house..and i balooned out to 296...and i realized that i have to do something so i am..and ive lost 10 pouonds so hard..it hasnt been easy..but when you ready...take that step..and do it..i know you might be saying "well..how come everyone says when im ready.." but its the truth..you think you will never ready..but you will be..and you will start..and your life will change..and not just your weight..but how you see life and how you see things..
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:08 PM   #4
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Sumya,
You do not have the intelligence of a child because a child would not recognize that they need help or need to do something about their weight. I don't know who the quote is by but there is one that I have always stuck by "failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." Only you have the power to change your weight.

This is the God's honest truth that I was just thinking about hiding behind weight and using food as a comforter on my way to work this afternoon. Food is fuel, that's it. It can't bring you love, joy, or peace. I don't know what you religion is if you have one, and please no one flag this as offense if this is not the way you believe. But I know that God and the saving knowledge of his son Jesus is the only thing that can give you true peace. So I would encourage you to pick up a Bible or look it up online and what God says about you. He loves you just as you are and knows exactly all the pain, shame, anger and hurt you are going through and if you call on him I know that he will reach out to you and change your life forever. I'm not trying to convert you to anything, I just can say I know what works for me, and God always works. Even if you don't know where to start, simply just say God I need your help, and the Holy Spirit will tell you the rest.

Again please no one flag this as offense I'm just trying to help here.
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:21 PM   #5
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Thanks for the posts everyone. Porthardygurl – I sleep every night thinking tomorrow I will start but that day never comes.

Rubyred7- that is a great quote, I’m not offended at all, I’m Muslim, I believe in god and I pray as much possible. But as wells as the prayer, action is needed from me.
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:33 PM   #6
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Sumuya,
Just remember that you have the power to change your weight--and the way you think about it. The battle that we all go through is not with our bodies, but it's in our minds, if we can take captive the thoughts that are hindering us from being the person that we want to be then the weight will come of quicker. I know, I've been dealing with this issue all my life, at least since I can remember, and I know that it's hard, you shouldn't hide yourself. And something that I have realized as of late is that people aren't talking about you as much as you think they are. I always feel like when I am out in public that people are thinking, oh there's a fat girl, when in fact most of them are probably thinking about what they have to make for dinner, or soccer practice, or the fight they had with their spouse. And if someone does make a comment, then that just means that they have issues in their life that they only can get their yaya's from making other's feel bad.

Find a hobby other than eating that makes you happy, for me mine is writing, it's theraputic and productive. Your's could be knitting or reading, or everytime you feel you need to emotionally eat--there is a difference than eating because your body needs some energy-climb the stairs at your house if you have them or job in place for 30seconds. And also do things that make you happy other than food. Bubble baths, movies, buying purses or shoes, or start volunteering your time a shelter or helping at an animal hospital. But remember that you are worth it, you are beautiful, and you matter. Peace Love and Hugs to you!
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:40 PM   #7
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That is lovely advice, thank you. You are absolutely about it being about the mind. Somehow my mind comes up with million of things to divert me from my goal. Procrastinating has always been my biggest problem. There is always tomorrow. It's time wasting.
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:51 PM   #8
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I am the biggest procrastinator of them all, I know that. Another quote I love is "Tomorrow never comes, for it is always today" you only have this moment right now to make the most of. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to us, we can't change yesterday, we only have now. Live it to the fullest.
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Old 07-09-2011, 08:02 PM   #9
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So true. I make note of this quote.
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Old 07-09-2011, 08:44 PM   #10
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Sumuya, I used to sometimes think to myself You have so far to go, it's hopeless. Yet I was reminded of a proverb that said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." I realized this was true, and that a single step forward would get me going. The first step is the one that starts you on your weight-loss journey, and it's the most important one. Admitting the need to do something is a big step in itself.
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Old 07-09-2011, 09:09 PM   #11
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Sumuya, I'm so glad you found this wonderful site. I have had many times in my life when I have felt so out of control and I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't get my act together. I couldn't make it through one single day without binge eating. I didn't see any end in sight. Then something occurred to me.... what if I could just focus on one single day? That wouldn't be so bad right? Anything that I would want to eat on that day, I would promise myself that I could have it the next day. I would take it minute by minute and hour by hour. I would visualize myself waking up the next morning after having succeeded and that kept me going. Once I was able to make it through one day.....I knew that I could do it. I knew that I could make it through another. I treated every day like it was brand new and the only difference was my increased confidence. I am telling you all of this because I hope you can try to do it too. Don't put it off anymore. Start tomorrow. Commit. Keep coming here to this site and ask for help and information. Read about all of the success stories. Find what works for you. Don't try to do too much too soon. That's too hard! Make small changes every week until you suddenly wake up one day and realize that this is actually making you feel better. You are in control of food and not the other way around.

I don't have any impression of you as being child like in intelligence. But, we all have an inner child that can take over. It's time for the mature Sumuya to take control. You can beat this....one day at a time.

p.s. my best friend is Muslim and she's like a sister to me
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Old 07-09-2011, 09:37 PM   #12
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You can do it, you have already proved that. Do not be upset about regaining your weight, many of us have done that. I have done it. You can start right now, you have made a good start by coming here. Good luck.
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Old 07-09-2011, 09:44 PM   #13
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I'm 35, and I weigh near what you weigh, but I feel pretty peppy. Took the kid bowling, went out and about today.

What is it you eat? I remember in the late 90's yrs ago I felt that way. I even weighed less than I do now, but I felt TERRIBLE. I ate all sorts of poor nutrition things though. Fast food, packaged food, etc.

If you are not ready to deal with exercise, or cutting down calories -- what about simply better nutrition food when you get groceries? A multivitamin?
Baby steps to improve physical health.

Are you part of anything? Hobby groups? A class? Church? Garden club? Volunteer at the pet shelter? Whatever it is that interests you? That may help your mental health/emotional health.

Hang in there!

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Old 07-09-2011, 09:45 PM   #14
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Good advice so far. I just thought I'd add one of my favorite quotes that I steal from a friend here on 3FC sometimes.

"Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining your weight is hard. Pick your hard."

I can tell you feel like you're in a dark place right now. So many of us have been there, done that. Spend some time on this board and you might just find some real inspiration and motivation to help you make the change you need. I know I did. =} Best of luck to you.
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Old 07-09-2011, 09:47 PM   #15
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I believe the key to getting over this relationship with food is to start viewing food more as a fuel and less as a pleasurable activity or a primary source of enjoyment. Sometimes when you are really heavy and down on it, it seems like the food is one of the only things you really have. But really, when you look at the full picture, food provides comfort but takes away so much from other areas. It's simply not worth it.

One of the things I've noticed now that I'm further in the process is that food isn't really as great as I thought it was. It's definitely still enjoyable, but it's not a lifeline. It's just fuel.

The one thing that really helped me make this jump was exercise and food logging. Seeing what it really takes to burn 100 calories or 400 calories will make you more conscious of what you are doing, and logging food helps you realize what you need to change to get to a proper intake. Good luck, it's not easy, but if you really want to lose weight, there's not much that can prevent you from reaching your goals
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