Hi everyone! Before I start ranting, I should thank all of you for your support. Someone always seems to post about the exact thing I'm struggling with, so I've never felt the need to post before...until now.
I'm 23 years old and never been a "normal" weight. I was raised by a doctor and a health nut, so we always had healthy, nutritious food. I learned about nutrition early and never even tried sugary soft drinks until I went to school. It should have been perfect.
Well, actually, my health was always fantastic, I was always active and my weight never stopped me (I got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do at over 200 pounds)...physically, that is. I was always self conscious and hated myself for not being normal. I was teased not only in school, but by strangers on the street as well.
I finally ended the string of unsuccessful diets about two years ago by calorie counting. I lost the first 30 lbs, then maintained for a few months, then lost the rest last spring/summer. My commute alone involves walking for 40-60 minutes and I have an active job, so I've been able to maintain without thinking much about it.
I thought I'd be so happy at this weight, and I was, but lately I feel like I'm still not "normal"...I guess it doesn't help that I live in Japan now...But still, what's the point of losing all that weight if I'm still kind of fat, right? Especially since as far as I know I'm still a few pounds overweight (I don't own a scale, but my measurements are the same). So, for the past few months I've been trying to lose a bit more, but it just won't budge. Not only that, but instead of losing, I just get tired and run down. Even though I never used to get sick (once a year at most), I've had a bad cold more or less every month, and was almost hospitalized for an ear infection (which I've never had before, not even as a child). I feel so unhealthy.
I feel like I have to choose between health and the appearance of health (fat=bad, thin=good). I always knew I was on the large side (strong, muscular, and healthy, but gains weight easily) but I didn't expect to have this problem while still in the overweight category. Before I moved from the US, my doctor warned me not to lose more weight, that BMI is flawed and that I should maintain...but I still don't feel successful.
I'm mad! It's so frustrating to lose so much weight and know that when people look at me, they think of me as a failure. I suppose I could wear a sign around my neck with my before and after pictures...
I'm not really sure what I'm asking...I guess I want to know if body types exist or if I'm looking for excuses. Do some people just have a point where they can't seem to lose anymore?
Any input is appreciated!