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I think Im gonna be fat forever

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Old 06-29-2011, 07:51 PM   #1
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Default I think Im gonna be fat forever

Here I am 3 days till vacation at the BEACH and not only have I not lost any weight but Ive gained 15lbs in 4 weeks. WTH is wrong with me? Ive been on every diet out there in my 29 short years.
THere are soooo many reasons to get healthy but I just cant seem to stick with any diet or plan like counting calories. Im addicted to food- more paticularly sugar. I see all these successfull people on here and think that I will not ever lose this weight!!! Its affecting everything negativly my marriage most of all. My husband is very good looking and I weight 80lbs more than I used to. Im afaird that if I dont do something about this weight he's bound to look somewhere else. I feel so horrible about myself....... Its like how bad is gonna have to get before losing weight CLICKS for me?
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Old 06-29-2011, 08:12 PM   #2
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(((hugs))) i hear ya there...i've tried alot of things before something seemed to click...because i'm addicted to sugar, it's been successful to eat low carb...have you tried that yet? i tried it once before and it didnt work too well but, for some reason, this time i'm really giving it a good, longterm try...and really, since i'm pre-diabetic, i need to learn to eat this way forever...i am VERYYY addicted to sugar and even a little bit will lead to alot for me...i can't eat "just a little" of something unless that's all i literally have in the house...for example, if DH brings home a pan of brownies, i can't eat "just one" and stop...i'll be nibbling away until the whole thing is gone...low carb takes my cravings away and i eat healthier also...it might help you out too
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Old 06-29-2011, 08:39 PM   #3
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Oh man, I really feel your pain and frustration. I honestly don't know what works. I have lost and gained the same 50-70 lbs. numerous times so I can't say that I have any good advice. I think you should try to forget about the external pressures like your husband or the beach vacation. I also don't think that you should go on a "diet" right now. I would say, take this time when you go on vacation to really enjoy it and to learn to love yourself just the way you are. I know it's hard. I've spend a lot of time self-loathing. Just try though. Try to feed your body in a healthy way. Try to maybe eat like your hubby only a bit less. Focus on the beautiful beach, scenery, go for walks and keep active. Think about what you are about to do. I would say decide to start when you get back. Decide you will commit to one day. Don't think about a month from now or a year from now. Just think about that one day. And go for it. Do everything on plan. Have it written down...what you will eat and when and do it just like that. Once you have that day done, do another one. It's ok not to have variety. It's ok not to go to parties. It's ok. Really, it's worth it. I'm a food addict. I recommend having a bag of tricks for when you want to eat off plan. I eat popsicles that are 15 calories each so sometimes I have 10 of them, but that's better than having 10 bagels. I also have gum at all times. I don't chew it at all times, but when I feel I need to, I do. Paint your nails, do your hair, start dressing and acting like you are already at goal. Visualize yourself at goal as often as you can. GIve yourself positive feedback too. Treat yourself with love and kindness. You can do it!!!
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Old 06-29-2011, 08:55 PM   #4
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i feel the same way i am 27 and have been struggleing my whole life
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Old 06-29-2011, 08:56 PM   #5
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I think many (most?) of us have felt the feelings you are expressing in this post.

While there is no magic bullet or quick answer, I do want to just give you a big hug and tell you to keep trying.

I often feel overwhelmed, frustrated and down about my struggles with food addiction. When I get that way, I try to remind myself that everyone has issues and this one happens to be mine. Maybe I cant "fix" it, but I can handle it the best I can and keep working.

That attitude has led me to also try every single diet, gain and lose (endless times), and in the moments I sometimes feel it is a losing battle. But I remind myself I am winning the war. For over 10 years, I have kept on trying! And though I may not be where I want (120lbs and without food issues), I am in a pretty good place for someone with this issue. I am healthy, Im no longer obese, I eat vastly better foods, etc etc.

You sound like you are putting yourself under SO much pressure to solve the long term stuff, but if you can try to focus on today and do what you can.

Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying.
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Old 06-29-2011, 08:59 PM   #6
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I had to stop beating my self up. One day I sat down and did some math. If I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day, I am eating about 150 times a month. If I eat well 140 times I could mess up 10 times and still do OK. Before I started I was eating crap about 100 times a month. And I make myself exercise at least 6 times a week. Even if I ate like a pig I still do my exercise. If I am not losing weight I least I know I am improving my health with moving everyday.

I am a very visual person. I got so down on myself when I would write down everything I ate and would see all the junk on there. So for a while I just wrote it down but stopped looking at it all the time. Instead I made a 12 week exercising chart and hung it on the fridge. I knew I could at least get my walking going everyday. I was so proud of my self to that chart fill up every day with something I was actually doing right.

So maybe you could focus on drinking 8 waters a day or walking 2 miles a day. Something to build yourself up then add the food part later.
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:04 PM   #7
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Thanks so much for all your kind responses.......Im sitting here in tears because I do need to learn to love myself NOW not just when I lose weight. Thanks again
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:05 PM   #8
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I totally understand how you feel. I have tried so many time to lose weight and it took something to click inside me to get serious about it. For me it was a shopping trip where nothing fit. Just don't get down on yourself too much. You can do it!!!
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:51 PM   #9
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Proudmommy! I really feel for you so much! I could have written your post (except for the part about the skinny hubby, LOL)! Turn those tears into determination and focus. You absolutely CAN do it. So many of us have been right where you are right now...with so many attempts. But don't think of those as failures. They were all learning experiences. Take from it and turn it around to make THIS time the one that will do it for you! One year from now, you'll be so glad that you did! I really believe that!

I also like the other suggestion of the exercise chart on the fridge. How motivating is that!

Finally, I want to tell you that I'm a horrible food addict. I've tried everything and I don't think I'll ever really conquer this addiction, but I do think I can manage it and fight it from a lighter weight, rather than a heavier weight. Someone on here has a ticker quote that says something like Dieting is hard, being fat is hard...pick your hard. How true that is! So, when things get really tough and tense for me, I try to think of that quote. I suffer from chronic daily migraines so if I can do it anyone can!
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:01 PM   #10
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YOU CAN DO THIS!!

I totally understand the frustration of not feeling like you're able to stick with it. I've been down that road many times before and finally something clicked. Are you able to exercise? For me, getting daily exercise really makes it easier to make healthier food choices... I'm not sure why. I've also had to completely cut out certain foods because I can't control myself to eat them in moderation. Like others have said, you need to be kind to yourself... your self-worth should not be tied to the number you see on your scale. Decide that you are worth it! Hugs!
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:07 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luckymommy View Post
Oh man, I really feel your pain and frustration. I honestly don't know what works. I have lost and gained the same 50-70 lbs. numerous times so I can't say that I have any good advice. I think you should try to forget about the external pressures like your husband or the beach vacation. I also don't think that you should go on a "diet" right now. I would say, take this time when you go on vacation to really enjoy it and to learn to love yourself just the way you are. I know it's hard. I've spend a lot of time self-loathing. Just try though. Try to feed your body in a healthy way. Try to maybe eat like your hubby only a bit less. Focus on the beautiful beach, scenery, go for walks and keep active. Think about what you are about to do. I would say decide to start when you get back. Decide you will commit to one day. Don't think about a month from now or a year from now. Just think about that one day. And go for it. Do everything on plan. Have it written down...what you will eat and when and do it just like that. Once you have that day done, do another one. It's ok not to have variety. It's ok not to go to parties. It's ok. Really, it's worth it. I'm a food addict. I recommend having a bag of tricks for when you want to eat off plan. I eat popsicles that are 15 calories each so sometimes I have 10 of them, but that's better than having 10 bagels. I also have gum at all times. I don't chew it at all times, but when I feel I need to, I do. Paint your nails, do your hair, start dressing and acting like you are already at goal. Visualize yourself at goal as often as you can. GIve yourself positive feedback too. Treat yourself with love and kindness. You can do it!!!
Good post. Proudmommy, Luckymommy knows what she is talking about.
I can tell you that it is so nice to have a good support system. I seek this site for inspiration and seeing how successful others are energizes me to do it myself.
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:12 PM   #12
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If you're addicted to sugar there is only one answer.

Give up sugar.

What do successful recovering alchoholics do? Do they have a single beer and stop? No. They don't touch any alchohol.

I don't know how strong your addiction is but if you really WANT to lose weight I would avoid all sugar except what is in vegtables for at least 30 days. After that if you want to mix in some fruit go for it.

You may be one of those people who after they break their initial cravings find you can have a little sugar here and there and not be compelled to have a lot more but initially I'd highly reccomend you avoid it.

Also - and I hate to say this - I would utilize the dark side. Use visualization to help you. If there are any pretty skinny women in your life (or previous life) that you don't really care for, imagine finding out that your husband is sleeping with them behind your back because you're too fat. Go ahead - shut your eyes and imagine it vividly. I assume it makes you VERY MAD. If so - use it.

During your induction period of giving up sugar when you feel those cravings shut your eyes and imagine that indulging in the sugar is going to directly cause your husband to sleep with that pretty skinny woman. If you can successfully link sugar with massive pain your cravings for sugar will diminish.
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:17 PM   #13
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luckymommy- thanks so much for your words of encouragement and great advice. Im gonna do what you said above and enjoy my vacay and come up with a plan, Im thinking really whole heartardly attempting low carb way of eating. I think it may help with the sugar addiction... once again thanks so much I really appreciate it
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:19 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnP View Post
If you're addicted to sugar there is only one answer.

Give up sugar.

What do successful recovering alchoholics do? Do they have a single beer and stop? No. They don't touch any alchohol.

I don't know how strong your addiction is but if you really WANT to lose weight I would avoid all sugar except what is in vegtables for at least 30 days. After that if you want to mix in some fruit go for it.

You may be one of those people who after they break their initial cravings find you can have a little sugar here and there and not be compelled to have a lot more but initially I'd highly reccomend you avoid it.

Also - and I hate to say this - I would utilize the dark side. Use visualization to help you. If there are any pretty skinny women in your life (or previous life) that you don't really care for, imagine finding out that your husband is sleeping with them behind your back because you're too fat. Go ahead - shut your eyes and imagine it vividly. I assume it makes you VERY MAD. If so - use it.

During your induction period of giving up sugar when you feel those cravings shut your eyes and imagine that indulging in the sugar is going to directly cause your husband to sleep with that pretty skinny woman. If you can successfully link sugar with massive pain your cravings for sugar will diminish.
As crazy as that sounds(the visualization) it just might help. Thanks

Last edited by proudmommy09 : 06-29-2011 at 10:20 PM.
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:27 PM   #15
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Three things, and they have been said above, but bears repeating.

1. Learn to love who you are - whatever size, age, whatever.

2. Get out of the diet mentality and switch into the "I need to change my life around" mentality.

3. And most importantly, get rid of the sugar! I am a sugar/carb addict and once I stopped eating them, I started to feel SO MUCH BETTER! I have sweet things, but they don't seem to trigger anything and they keep my sugar cravings in check. 1. I eat protein bars by Atkins (they have the lowest carbs, highest fiber and protein is great). I drink atkins premade shakes or a whey protein shake - again low carb version - but it's sweet!. I cannot give up my jif peanut butter, so I eat 2 tablespoons with an apple with cinnamon for breakfast or lunch sometimes. And I use either Altoids sugar free mini candies or from Trader Joe's Myntz Breathmints.

Once you do these things, you will be on your way - for good.

Oh, there is one more:

4. Get good sleep!!!!
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