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Beating myself up/frustrated/burning out

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Old 06-27-2011, 10:23 AM   #1
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Unhappy Beating myself up/frustrated/burning out

I've been following WW for 21 weeks now, and have lost 37.8 lbs. I exercise daily, and I love it....I walk/run and one of the best gifts out of this whole experience has been realizing I love moving my body. So it's been mostly a very positive experience.

But I am feeling mentally exhausted, have been for about 2 weeks. I think about diet/points/food/exercise/clothes/etc 24 hours a day. My loss is slowing - .8 in the last 2 weeks combined. My initial goal was 40 lbs, which I then changed to 45 or 50 once I hit 25 lbs. I think I would be happy to lose 40, that puts me at a size 10/12, which for me is fine. 12 years ago, I was a size 24 and 104 lbs. heavier than I am today, so I am not looking to get super thin. Average is fine with me.

But I play these mental games with myself, tell myself that I am a failure if I don't lose the 45 or 50. Honestly, if I lost 50 that would put me in the 140s which I think is a bit low for what I could reasonably maintain. I also beat myself up and tell myself (despite compliments almost daily) that I can barely tell a difference anyway. I have gone from a 16/XL to a 10/12 M/L. My worst enemy would probably be easier on me than I am on myself.

Are these signs I am ready for maintenance and should make 40 my goal?
Is it a cop out to choose the slightly higher weight as my goal?

Thank you for reading my whiny post. I am shocked at how critical I have become of myself. I was more confident and had more self-love before I started.
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Old 06-27-2011, 10:41 AM   #2
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Why not take a break from dieting and try to maintain for a while?
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Maintaining for two years and I eat whatever I want - just not however much I want. Details here.
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Old 06-27-2011, 10:41 AM   #3
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I think in the end you will have to be the one to decide this, as you will be the one living with the decision. Just remember that even in maintenance you will have to think about diet/points/food/exercise/etc if you want to be a lifelong looser.
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Old 06-27-2011, 10:52 AM   #4
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I think about diet/points/food/exercise/clothes/etc 24 hours a day.

This tells me that you're ready to get into what I call "the muscle memory" stage of weight loss. It's a phrase dancers use where the things you work so hard to learn how to do a particular movement (in this case -how to eat and exercise properly/enough) finally become natural to do w/o thinking about every nuance of the action.

You can now listen to your inner voice which really knows when and what and how much to eat. The diet mentality can be draining - and often leads to the
"I'm on or off a diet" mode.

I'm suggesting a small change in your thinking - consider your food plan just common sense healthy choices and common sense portions that you already learned to make on WW. Give up the point counting and put the food scale away for a week and see if you're ready to take this new step. It can be scary but freeing - I know!!

Good luck - L.
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Old 06-27-2011, 12:07 PM   #5
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Average is fine with you?! Really?! I don't want this to sound harsh, but you should never settle for less! You should never let self-doubt keep you from achieving whatever it is you want to achieve. I would ask yourself why you're willing to be "average". Why can't you maintain in the 140's? Why can't you accept the compliments? Why can't you have anything you want? You have already achieved so much- 104 lbs!- revel in that! You don't need to be average, you're not average- screw average. You've done what people wish they could do. Hang on to that! Be the absolute best you can be. If you can honestly say that stopping now is your best, then stop now. But if not, you know you have more work to do . You're so worth it.

With that said... people aren't machines. Maybe you do need a break from thinking about diet/food/exercise, etc. Take some time to re-evaluate and work out some of the "mental games" that makes you feel like a failure (btw, you are SO not a failure!). I mean, this isn't going to happen over night, and is much easier said than done, but going there could be a great start in letting go.
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Old 06-27-2011, 12:13 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatgyrl View Post
I think in the end you will have to be the one to decide this, as you will be the one living with the decision. Just remember that even in maintenance you will have to think about diet/points/food/exercise/etc if you want to be a lifelong looser.
Oh Honey...you got that RIGHT!

Maintenance is harder than weightloss in my very humble opinion. No new clothing sizes to dip down to, the compliments wear off, the excitement of a new lower number on the scale...GONE. It's just day in day out counting, food, excercise, points..etc...with no reward other than good health, and mobility. It sucks...but I still do it, every single day. I'll have to work my program for the rest of my life if I want to stay this weight....I'd have to continue to work it if I wanted to stay any weight for a long period of time
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Old 06-27-2011, 12:21 PM   #7
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I'm curious- are you going to the meetings or just following online?
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Old 06-27-2011, 12:24 PM   #8
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I think a lot of us are too concerned with a number.
I know I beat myself up all the time when I step on the scale, which I need to stop doing.

I think how you feel is one of the most important factors in weight loss. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, and like the reflection you see in the mirror, then who cares about a number?
I'm sure a lot of us set unrealistic goals when it comes to a number in weight loss, almost just to have a goal since we aren't sure whats a healthy weight to maintain.

Like my weight loss goal is 140, but who knows where my actual "healthy" weight is. I will find out though.

I mean, I exercise A LOT, and we all know that muscle weighs more than fat. So I'm healthier but my weight hasn't dropped as much as I'd like. BUT I've dropped a few sizes and feel so much better/energetic, so I still feel good at this point.

So don't stop being healthy or exercising, but don't beat yourself up over a number. As long as you feel good and look good, who cares about a number?
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Old 06-27-2011, 02:06 PM   #9
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You might try concentrating on ONE huge accomplishment that all who have lost weight can relate to: Your eating is in control. Inches and pounds may fluctuate but you are waaaaay far from where you started, and you will slowly but surely get to your goal.

It sounds like you are really caught up in numbers, and that can do bad stuff to your head. Could you maybe relax and enjoy your new slim self, maybe treat yourself to some Value Village (or similar) new clothes as a reward for your achievement? Take a rest at the weight you are and just maintain for awhile?

Then after you have refreshed and renewed yourself, you can decide what weight you can actually achieve and maintain at comfortably. There is no magic number--it's what you feel good about that counts. Beating yourself up and getting all wound up about points and pounds is counterproductive, so girl, you gotta get clear of that!
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Old 06-27-2011, 03:25 PM   #10
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With all due respect to the poster that said you shouldn't settle for average, I couldn't disagree more. I think this continual "upping the ante" with regard to the weight loss numbers feeds into a mentality of perfectionism that may ultimately make you throw your hands up in the air and give up; it kind of sounds like you're on the precipice of that now.

Have you thought of trying something besides WW? I used to do WW, but it was more trouble figuring out points than it was to simply count calories. Don't give up! Try something new so you'll feel re-energized.

Last edited by lin43 : 06-27-2011 at 03:26 PM.
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