Roommate who doesn't understand...

[fitness4life]

That sucks. Next time tell her "to each her own".

I want to address the "eat anything she likes" comments, though. I get asked that frequently - if I'm the type that can eat anything she wants - and my answer is this: I can eat whatever I want, but usually, I don't WANT to eat the same junk and/or quantity that others do.

I find that question weird in that, would I ever ask someone if they're the type to choose to not exercise based on their weight.

There's no doubt about it - if you take in more than what you burn, there will be weight gain. I don't care HOW a person eats or exercises. To each her own, and appearances don't lie.

She should mind her own business and quit faking that her weight is low because she's "special".

[QuilterInVA]

Welcome to the real world. We have to be accountable to ourselves for what we eat and we can't really expect others to always be supportable, unfortunately. You control what goes into your mouth, not your roommate. If she buys food that you chose not to eat, throw it out or let it go bad. She'll get the message. Lots of good advice above.

[jillianfan]

I had a roommate in college who was quite threatened when I lost a bunch of weight. She was around 5'2" and 115 lbs and was constantly calling herself fat. I was around 130, the same height as her, so it annoyed me that she called herself fat because I was bigger than her.

Anyhow, I lost a lot of weight, got down to around 117#, and it was clear that she was quite threatened because she was no longer the "thin" one in the house. I told her that I was wearing a size 3, or whatever, and she was like - oh, you are wearing a three in X designer? I swim in those things. Like she would wear a much smaller size in that particular design of pants. I really don't remember how it went, I only know that I was very annoyed because she was clearly trying to make it out like she was still so much smaller then me.

So I tried on her jeans just to see if they would fit, and it turns out they fit. So she said - "oh, those jeans are way too big on me" - when they weren't, those were the jeans that she wore all the time. Bottom line is that she was threatened and insecure and could not stand that anybody might take attention away from her.

Your roommate might be the same - she might be very insecure and think that you might look better than her when you lose weight.

Just my .02.

[gagalu]

she sounds obnoxious. i have negative roomate experiences too. i think this is how people become jaded!

your relationship with this person is likely temporary; if this damages your relationship, it's probably not a big deal. keep it up and show her that her efforts at sabotaging you are wasted.

[Riestrella]

Haha, oh wow! She sounds a bit freaky! There are a number of reasons for her behaviour, but I think the one that springs to mind for me is that she's threatened by you becoming thin. Some girls like to be the "thin one", they like feeling like they're prettier, healthier and better looking for their own self esteems. So you working out, trying hard with your diet shows that you mean business, and in her mind if you continue that way you're going to become thin.

Girls compare themselves to others constantly. If you see a pretty girl in the street I'm sure a lot of us would say "damn her!" instead of "Wow, good for you!!" I'm not saying we're ALL this way, but I think people with confidence issues (and lets face it, who doesn't have confidence issues with the societal pressures on women today?) want to feel like they have control over something.

So for your room mate she defines herself as the skinny one, but if you become skinny too what does that leave her with? Competition!

I remember in my first year of Uni I was bigger than what I should've been (but not nearly as big as I am now!) and there was another girl who lived with me who was pudgy but still smaller than me. When I started losing weight, stopped eating frozen ready made meals (which she lived off) and exercising at the gym I would just hear all these comments like "Oh, I don't NEED to lose weight - I'm fine with who I am," even though I never asked for her opinion or "Is that all your eating? I don't care what I eat!" The fact that she was so vocal about it meant she WAS bothered, because all of my flatmates were complimenting me on how great I looked. Needless to say, because she wasn't exercising and because she was eating bad food she got bigger and bigger while I got smaller and smaller. So the comments became more frequent! She used her boyfriend as an excuse sometimes "I don't care about my weight, because he loves big girls!"

Wow, that turned into a rant! Point is, I wouldn't worry about it. If there are issues with food that you're sharing then I suggest you start shopping separately. But if it's purely her saying "DON'T DIET AHHHH!" then just ignore it. Say you're happy, and if she wants to get in the way of your happiness then don't expect you to listen to what she has to suggest.

Women!