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Old 06-10-2011, 04:40 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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S/C/G: 234/179.6/145

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Default So sick of this

I'm sorry, I'm just so tired of this.

I started out on March 2nd doing all of the right things, or so I thought...I have been counting calories (1500-1600 per day) and exercising by walking, several times (usually 5 at least) times a week (~ an hour each walk). I have been eating lean meat and reduced calorie bread, drinking only water (with few exceptions of skim milk and juice, but I try to avoid these things as they have calories).

I'm 5'9 and 26. I went from 234-218 in the first month....and that's it. No measurement change at all. No further weight loss. Today I have not eaten anything at all and I am 219 (weighed before drinking anything). HOW?!?! I have been very frustrated at my stupid body.

I can't get away from this either...I went clothes shopping yesterday and saw myself in the mirror in the dressing room. My stomach overhangs my hips, my arms look like they belong to the Pillsbury Doughboy, my boobs sag, and my thighs look like squeezed marshmallow. That's right...squeezed marshmallow. (Thank goodness I don't puff up like a peep in the microwave though..it's very hot lately, mid-upper 90's.) I'm disgusted by myself. I'm so sick of looking like this. I'm so sick of doing the "right things" and not having any results.

I see nothing wrong with overweight people...but I am disgusted by myself. I have many other flaws, such as my eyebrows being at different heights, my eyes being at different heights, my nose being crooked, the whole facial hair thing that requires me to be very on top of it (which is probably a hormonal problem resulting from the weight), stubby toes, stretch marks even though I've never had children, snoring at night, feeling tired all the time no matter what, getting out of breath very easily....etc etc. The list is endless. I thought it was possible to change this one thing by doing what everyone says..."eat less, exercise more". When I think about all of this, it seems overwhelming and hopeless. I feel doomed. I feel like I'm being punished...and it makes me look like I'm being lazy and cheating or something.

I watched that Extreme Makeover Weightloss first episode, thinking "okay, maybe they'll have a method" but they went into no detail as to what the girl ate or what she did for exercise besides running.

I haven't eaten today and I'm getting desperate to lose weight. I've been drinking water (on my third bottle now...it's tap water but I use the bottle to measure how much). I would normally never believe these kinds of tabloid things, but I read that Beyonce lost 20 lbs in two weeks from only drinking water mixes. If I don't eat for a few days I -have- to lose weight...right? To prevent gaining it back, I'll just not eat every few days... But I'm hungry now so...how does that work? And it tends to sound like an eating disorder, or at least the start of one...and I'll probably just end up eating anyway! I feel like if I eat now, the whole day is to waste.

I'm out of ideas.

Last edited by Ariselle : 06-10-2011 at 06:26 PM.
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Old 06-10-2011, 04:48 PM   #2
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I am no expert by far but i do know that weight loss is not easy. The first month is the easiest because most of it is water weight. After all that is gone then the fat loss takes a little more time. We all have our good months and bad months as well. You have to understand that your body is going to be resistant to change and will try to hold on to that fat. You HAVE to keep pushing and take control of your body.

I watch a lot of weight loss shows and use to feel jealous over their weightloss but then you have to realize that those people are on a very strict diet and exercise 6-8 hours a day. Who has that much time on their hands?!?!?!?!

Also, i would suggest some strength training. Now in the beginning it will not show on the weight because u are gaining muscle but it sure does help you to lose a lot of inches! Also, it is very important that u eat regularly. I hate when magazines tell how people go on liquid diets and all that garbage. Sure you will lose weight but as soon as u eat a sandwich you'll blow up like a balloon!

Quitting is NOT an option!!!

10 Pounds before Hawaii!!!!!

Mini Goals:

For every 10 pounds lost!
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:00 PM   #3
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1) You know what happens when people on crash diets start eating normally again? They gain back the weight and then some. Beyonce has about a bajillion dollars and could train someone to punch her in the face every time she thought about eating if that's what she wanted to do. Don't compare yourself to people on crash diets or celebrities. Period.

2) While eating less and moving more is the BASIC idea to weight loss, there are a lot of different methods, and everyone has to find what works for them. That means trial & error, experimenting, and being willing to give each experiment the time it deserves to see if it works with your body.

3) So experiment! Lower your calories, or up your calories, or have a high day and several lower days. Mix up your exercise. Intensify. Or try a different activity. Mix up your food. Don't forget the importance of fruits and vegetables. Pick something to change and try it for two weeks to see the results. If it works, great! If it doesn't work, cross it off the list and move forward. At some point something will click with your body and you'll see the results you want.

4) Food is not the enemy. Have you seen people who've starved weight off of themselves? Poor, dry skin... limp hair... unhealthy nails... bad breath...sunken eyes. We are organic machines, and if we don't get ENOUGH fuel we don't function and we end up rusty. Not to mention "not eating" doesn't work as a crash diet, because the SECOND you start eating again your body just packs back on the weight. You can't just wait a couple days without eating, you'd have to go the rest of your life without eating... and without food... that wouldn't be very long now would it?

There IS a way. You're in a plateau. This is normal. And the only way to find a way through is to try something different while keeping HEALTH as your top priority.
~Made of star stuff~
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:00 PM   #4
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I could really sense the self-loathing you have as I read through your post. It made me so sad.

You lost a bunch of weight the first month. Please keep in mind that a lot of that weight loss wasn't real. It was water loss. Now, as you keep at it, the body is adjusting. You will lose more, but it will seem painfully slow.

Also, as you keep exercising, your body may actually hold onto water and make it look like you're losing nothing or even gaining! This is where many people give up and go back to old habits.

Please don't give up! Keep up with your exercise and calorie counting and it will come off! As you approach your goal weight, you may need to decrease calories or increase exercise.

Also, keep in mind that we are our own worst critics. I have SO many things about my body that I'd love to change, but at the end of the day, I realize that I can't and so I just accept it for what it is. Hang in there!

First goal: under 180:
Second goal: 175 or below:
Third goal: 168 (no longer overweight):
Fourth goal: 160 or below:
Final goal: 145-155 (not sure if this will ever happen):
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:00 PM   #5
I think I can...
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No food = no weight loss my dear. You have to have heard this before. You body need fuel to do everything! So when you don't give your body the proper nutrition your body goes into starvation mode and holds onto all of it's fat not knowing when it will next get some nutrients.
It seems like you are going at your weight loss in a manner that is not very healthy. I understand your frustration. But you don't need to walk for 5 hours a day. People who exercise that much require more calories. It may seem counterintuitive. But you need to eat and you need to do less exercise. Please do some research about diet/exercise. If you plan to maintain your weight loss it's important that you understand.
Also it's important to have a social support system. You seem very sad and that's not healthy either. Please go have a good filling meal and talk to a friend or even post here for some encouragement.

1/3/11 BMI 40.7
6/24/11 BMI 37.5
9/25/11 BMI 35
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:04 PM   #6
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As opposed to doing a liquids-only diet or water diet, try adjusting your calories down by 100-200.

I agree with MzJuicyD: our bodies are not machines. What worked for one month won't necessarily work the next month. You have to constantly rejigger things to find the right mix for your body.

Have you talked to your doctor? From some of what you said, I wonder if you might have PCOS, which makes it more difficult to lose weight. There's a PCOS thread on the forum you might want to check out and get advice from other people.

One for every five pounds lost............... Progress Pics
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:13 PM   #7
Gettin' it done!
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S/C/G: HW- 242 Restart SW:166 7/24/14

Height: a little over 5'2


Your 219 was probably a fluctuation. Do you weigh yourself every day??

As for starving yourself, that is not the way to go. As others have posted, you need food for fuel. The weight is not going to melt off fast, you need to hang in there and keep going!!! I also agree that you don't need to spend 5 hours exercising, just 1 hour few times a week and you'll see something as long- you may be eating too little and exercising too much.

I would definitely encourage strength/weight/resistance training to help with your problem areas. Don't be SO hard on yourself, while I don't like some parts of myself, I don't loathe myself. Good luck.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.- Winston Churchill
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:31 PM   #8
Suck it up, buttercup!
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Originally Posted by Ariselle View Post
snoring at night, feeling tired all the time no matter what, getting out of breath very easily....etc etc. The list is endless.
These are probably part of being overweight. When you lose weight, you will have less problems with snoring, feeling tired and getting out of breath. See? Good news. You won't only look but also feel better.
Regarding working out... Don't do the same exercises (walking in this case) over and over again. Mix it up with some stretching or weights, keep your body on its toes.
Food... What do you eat? Maybe talk to a nutritionist or look into other programs. I am on Weight Watchers. They don't only look at calories. There are other rules to make sure you get the right nutrients and consume a balanced diet. This will help with feeling better too.
Sleep... Make sure you sleep 7-8 hours a night. Believe me, huge difference to e.g. 5 hours. Your body needs to rest and you will lose easier when you sleep more.
Oh and one other thing... I saw your goal on your profile. 139 lbs? You are 5'9 and that will result in a BMI of just over 20. Very low, bordering on underweight. Do set your goal that low. Aim for 25 for now. Actually, consider mini goals. Try to get out of obesity first. Then for a normal weight. I have something like 10 mini goals set up. Something like that makes it more managable and you will have lots of little victories which keeps you going.
Update: I just saw that your goal is 135lbs! That's too low for sure! BMI of 19 is underweight. Don't go there!!!

Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Canít Lose * The sweat you see when working out is the fat crying *
Pain is just weakness leaving the body
* I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Last edited by josey : 06-10-2011 at 05:33 PM.
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Old 06-10-2011, 05:38 PM   #9
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Questions for you:
1. Counting calories: Are you using a food scale? (Let's make sure the calories are being counted correctly. I bought the biggest loser brand scale for 20.00 at Bed Bath & Beyond

2. What is your percentage of carbs/fats/protein? I'm thinking maybe your carbs are too high maybe? Have you cut out all of the simple carbs, and only eating the complex carbs?

3. Do you realize your goal weight of 135 is pretty small for someone 5'9"?

4. Have you been cheating? (Be honest with yourself here)

OK, now for my preachin'

1. You are great at maintaining. Look at it that way. I felt a lot better at 219 vs. 234. Now you have to tweak to start losing again.



4. Go buy the book Skinny B*tch and read it. Apply it. This book helped me a lot at the beginning of my journey

5. Give yourself some credit. We are our worst enemies at times, and sometimes you just have to snap out of it.


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Old 06-10-2011, 05:59 PM   #10
One man would not fall...
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The last time my weight stalled and refused to move i went crazy with exercise for weeks, i was ragged and it wouldn't move, finally i thought i might be overdoing it so i cut way back on exercise and ate a few more cals, within a couple of days the weight started to drop off again.

There is no one way to lose day in day out, you have to constantly adjust your regimen, stressing your body by not eating or overexertion does at least in my case halt forward progress in it's tracks, you have to lose at the speed your body allows and no faster.

Round two !

You can be a warrior or you can be a slave.
When the body is pushed beyond limits, rely on your heart to survive.
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Old 06-10-2011, 06:04 PM   #11
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Look into Dr. Eric Berg's "The 7 Principles of Fat Burning" - it was a very insightful book, and it seems like you have a lot of the same symptoms of the Adrenal Body Type (similar to me). It tells you how to get to the cause of weight gain, versus just treating it like a symptom. Look up his website! It has tips, etc, and the "Body Type Quiz" you can take. If you read the book (cheap on Amazon), then it'll inform you about what particular foods you should eat and what sort of exercises you should do for your body type. I hope it helps! Good luck!
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Old 06-10-2011, 06:11 PM   #12
I am in control.
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Don't give up.
Original Goal Story and Pictures from 2011 here

Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining your weight is hard. Pick your hard.

Back at it after having Baby Girl!

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Old 06-10-2011, 06:13 PM   #13
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For one week, eat at your normal rate of 1500-1600 calories. Reduce your walking from 5 or more hours a day to 5 hours that week. Weigh yourself at the end of the week. If you haven't lost at least 3 pounds I'll pose in a bikini and put it on the board...(YIKES!) Deal?
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Old 06-10-2011, 06:35 PM   #14
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I have to post because your frustration may be coming from having a hormonal issue called PCOS.

The symptoms that you've listed in your post may mean that you have PCOS and if you do, it's entirely treatable (some of us have been dealing with it for a long time!!!!) and you can lose weight...... it's just going to take a little tweaking of your diet and/or medication.

Have you ever been a doctor to get diagnosed?

Slow weight loss, the hair, and stuff are all signs that you might have it. You can check out the PCOS board here or read up on it if you want.
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Old 06-10-2011, 06:42 PM   #15
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I apologize for my over-emotional rant earlier. Thank you for the supportive replies.

I made a typo in my original post and instead of 5 times a day, it should have been 5 times a week (at least...most of the time it is every day) for walking.

As for the goal, it was 150 lbs (I have never been thin, but I was much happier at that weight and did not have a lot of the health problems I described, although it was years ago that I weighed so much less) but even then, I was around 20 lbs overweight. I had flab on my upper thighs and stomach even back then, though it was nowhere near what it is now...which is terrible. 135 seems about right for me, my height and frame considered. Also, this would potentially eliminate a lot of health problems, and hopefully decrease my troublesome areas (such as a ungodly huge bust and thighs capable of setting pants on frictional fire). There are also personal reasons why it must be this low. It has all been well-thought out.

I do agree that it's good that I haven't gained any weight from the diet / lifestyle change (I don't plan on going back to eating whatever and not caring so I am not really sure "diet" is a good term for this). I don't know what it means that I have lost only a few pounds but not regained them...yet not lost any more. I really drink SO MUCH water, it feels unfair to call it water weight, but I trust that you guys know more about it than I do.

I did do a lot of research before starting this. I thought it would be somewhat scientific to have a well-formulated plan going into all of this, and read about how calorie counting seemed to work universally (the professor who ate nothing but twinkies, but counted calories and lost weight, the portion-size-me study, etc.). It's just so defeating, as I know I have been trying...
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