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Old 06-03-2011, 07:45 AM   #1
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Default Why Can't I do this?

I have done this before, why am i so unable to do it now? I just can't make any progress. I start out great, but then i eat whatever, and i end up starting over every day, I am now 9 lbs away from gaining back all 77 lbs that i lost in 09. I thought i would never be here again.. It just seems hopeless, that i have no willpower, no constant, in my life, I am just at a loss of what to do, It just does seem so hopeless to me, and it seems that even if i do well for a while, the scales do not move for me. ahhhhhhhh, I am so frustrated, and tired of being hungry all the dang time. I can eat a full meal and still be wanting food, I think about it all the time, I even dreamed about it the other night, How do i get food out of my head. I know that i am unhealthy, that if i don't straighten up my insulin resistance will be turning into diabetes, and I don't want that, but it seems that it isn't motivation enough to make me stay on a program. I am at 268, I had made it so far, and I am trying not to dwell on the fact that i gained back so much, I just feel helpless. I was so dedicated before, and never went off program, I want that now, really really bad. I keep saying that I have tomorrow, I will start tomorrow, tomorrow is here, and i haven't gotten anywhere.
Thanks to everyone who reads my long rant, you are all motivational to me, but I just can't keep the motivation in my head.
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Old 06-03-2011, 09:44 AM   #2
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You can do this - you already have, right? - just do it again and we'll worry about keeping it off later. First things, first. Start right now and don't wait to gain back those 9 pounds. Go to your pantry/frig and throw away anything that is not 'on plan'. Take a picture of yourself TODAY and put it on the fridge with the words "NEVER AGAIN" written across it. Anytime your 'bad' foods tempt you - go for a walk around the block. At work? Climb a couple of flights of stairs - MOVE. Visit this site - daily - for inspiration. You go!
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Old 06-03-2011, 10:14 AM   #3
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I definitely hear the frustration in your post. And I have felt it before too. I would lose a significant amount of weight and for some reason I just gain it all back. I got lazy and I burned out. It was like a slow motion train wreck. Then I would beat myself up over it daily. I had to stop wanting to want to lose weight and just want it bad enough to where I just did it. Just starting focusing on great it felt to lose those 77 pounds before and implement whatever strategies you had then into your life TODAY. But this time don’t think of it as a diet but a new way to live. And make sure that whatever plan you chose to lose weight on is sustainable for life. And you need to figure out mentally why you think you need food because if you are eating a full meal, it’s not a physical thing.

You are NOT helpless honey. You were dedicated before and you can dedicate yourself to it again. But like I said….you have to want to. Not just want to want to.
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:45 AM   #4
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I am right there with you. I had lost 110 pounds and gained back about 75. I have not only been battling to lose weight, but battling through my own feelings of failure. I was recently diagnosed right over the border into diabetes, and now have to also worry about my blood sugar.

One thing I can say is that I would highly recommend trying a pretty low carb diet. It has made all the difference for me in controlling my hunger. I ate an apple awhile back around lunch time and was hungry for the rest of the day. It was the weirdest thing. I have no idea if that was a fructose reaction or if it was psychosocial, but it was horribly uncomfortable. When I donít eat carbs, I donít crave food. I get reasonably hungry, but not wildly so. I feel satisfied and I donít think about food. As soon as I eat carbs, that all changes. I have simply come to the realization that for now, carbs arenít very healthy for me except in very small and controlled amounts. If you are insulin resistant you may have the same issues as me and may find it works for you too. If you havenít tried it, I would highly recommend it.
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Old 06-03-2011, 02:57 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwilightBloom View Post
I have done this before, why am i so unable to do it now? I just can't make any progress. I start out great, but then i eat whatever, and i end up starting over every day, I am now 9 lbs away from gaining back all 77 lbs that i lost in 09. I thought i would never be here again.. It just seems hopeless, that i have no willpower, no constant, in my life, I am just at a loss of what to do, It just does seem so hopeless to me, and it seems that even if i do well for a while, the scales do not move for me.
You CAN do this. You've PROVEN to yourself you CAN do this. You KNOW you can do it. Now it's just a matter of getting to that point where you're READY TO DO IT. AGAIN.

Quote:
I am so frustrated, and tired of being hungry all the dang time. I can eat a full meal and still be wanting food, I think about it all the time, I even dreamed about it the other night, How do i get food out of my head.
You are most likely NOT "hungry all the dang time" - you may be wanting more food, but that's not the same as hunger. Thinking about it and being hungry for it are two different things. CRAVING and HUNGER are very often two different things. It helps me to ask myself "am I really hungry? Do I really want to EAT THIS? Or...is something else EATING AT ME??"


Quote:
I know that i am unhealthy, that if i don't straighten up my insulin resistance will be turning into diabetes, and I don't want that...
... I keep saying that I have tomorrow, I will start tomorrow, tomorrow is here, and i haven't gotten anywhere.
Don't "start tomorrow." Start TODAY. RIGHT NOW. No delays, no excuses, no maybes, ifs, ands, or buts. Decide what plan you want to use, and execute it day by day, meal by meal. And remember - this is not just to "lose weight" - this is to BE HEALTHY - FOREVER. Call it a "diet" call it a "Lifestyle Change" call it "oopsy daisy I'm too fat for that" call it whatever you want to call it, but give it the Nike treatment... JUST DO IT.

Here's what helped me:
I was getting dressed for work one day only to find out that NOTHING fit comfortably, and NOTHING looked good on me. Well, I ended up NOT going to work that day. I called in sick. I WAS SICK!!! Sick (and tired!) of being FAT!!! I pitched a hissy fit. I cussed & ranted about my fatness. I bawled my eyes out. Oh yeah, I did all that. Almost all my "fat clothes" lay in a heap on my bed & on the floor.

Then I did something I had been avoiding for a few years. I stripped naked & stood in front of mirror. I looked at myself. REALLY looked at myself. I turned to one side, then the other. I looked at my butt. My god that thing was huge. I noticed with disgusting clarity the "back boobs" I had developed. My cottage-cheese thunder-thighs. My bat wings. I bent over to see the fat hanging from a different point of view. Oh yes, I was a cow. A pig. I cursed some more. I got a headache.

And then I did something marvelous! - I decided to list the things about me that I LOVED while standing there looking at my fat, naked body.
I have pretty eyes.
I have great skin.
I have nice hair.
I have nice nails.
I have good taste in jewelry & clothes and especially shoes!
I have a great sense of humor.
I am so much fun!!
I am smart.
I am polite.
I am a good driver (hey, that counts!!)
I am a good friend, a good wife, a good daughter, a good person.
I love animals! I have 4 fur babies that I take very good care of!!


I went on & on & on about how wonderful I am. And I came to the conclusion that I AM WORTH IT. I am worth all the dieting, exercising, etc. it takes to ENJOY MY BODY again. In fact, I am SO WORTH IT, that I am willing to ACT LIKE I'm worth it. By treating my body with kindness & respect, by NOT over-eating, by NOT being fat, by NOT being unhealthy!

So I got over my temper-tantrum and gathered all the clothes that *somewhat fit me* and hung them back in the closet, putting everything else into "storage" for when I LOST WEIGHT.

Then I went downstairs, did some exercise, made myself a healthy breakfast, and got on the computer & signed into my 3FatChicks account and made a plan.

Since then, I have lost weight. (see ticker) And I feel SO.MUCH.BETTER! Physically, mentally, emotionally, even spiritually.

YOU CAN DO THIS. Make the decision. And most importantly, Start now.
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CHANGE IS HARD.
BUT PERPETUAL DISSATISFACTION AIN'T NO PICNIC EITHER!


You CAN have ANYTHING you want,
but you CAN'T have EVERYTHING you want!
~my mama!

Last edited by Beach Patrol : 06-03-2011 at 03:03 PM.
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Old 06-03-2011, 03:14 PM   #6
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Twilight Bloom -

I'm in a very similar place - a couple of years ago, I lost over 40 lbs, but put back just about all of it. I kept trying to restart what had worked before (calorie counting) but I'd last a day, if I was lucky, and then go off plan and not get back on for another week or two.

What has helped me was totally changing things up and starting an entirely different plan. In my case, that is the Dukan diet (and I've been really happy and 100% on plan for almost 2 weeks now) but that's not even completely the point, I think I just needed something new and different to feel excited and motivated again.

And there are specific elements to Dukan which I did find very, very appealing - primarily that there is a very structured progression from weight loss through a stage he call Consolidation which is a middle ground between loss and maintenance in order to get your body adjusted to the new weight. That is actually as long or even longer than the weight loss phase! But as a serial re-gainer, I am hoping that maybe this will finally be the difference for me.

If you are trying to re-do what you did before, I know it makes sense from one angle, because you know it did work. But maybe it's time to reinvent yourself, including your diet?

Last edited by April Snow : 06-03-2011 at 03:15 PM.
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:03 PM   #7
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I woke up almost two months ago... a mere five pounds lower than my heaviest all time weight. Over the course of two years I'd lost 108 pounds. Two years later I put it all but 5 pounds back on.

You aren't alone.

Do you want to do this? Do you want to be healthier? Then there is no tomorrow. There is only today.

Don't make me get all "RENT No Day But Today" on you. There is only right now, this moment and this very next meal.

Forget about before, just for a moment. And choose something you KNOW you can accomplish today. Do you drink sugary drinks? Choose water the rest of the day. Do you feel sluggish? Take a five minute walk. Just five minutes. Are you tired of your dinner choices? Choose to make something healthier for one meal. Are you tired of being hungry all the time? Start a food journal - not about what you eat, but about when & WHY you decide to grab food. (Remember HALT? Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? I add in bored there for myself since I often use food to "amuse" myself.)

You don't have to be perfect. We NEVER have to be perfect. This is our journey and we get to choose how to run it.

There are going to be stumbles. I had a stumble-day just yesterday! But, I am SO glad I committed, because today I am back with a bang and a good attitude. Not every day is gonna be perfect...but that's why it's not every day that matters, but each day that matters. (If that makes sense.)

Do not hesitate to do something today, just because you're afraid of not being perfect tomorrow.


Who cares about being perfect? This isn't brain surgery! This isn't rocket science! We're just choosing small things each day to do in order to be healthier. There doesn't have to be any pressure beyond that. There isn't even a "right" way about choosing right things! So eating something you didn't really want to eat... or fudging up and missing a day of exercise. It's not the end of the world and it's not the end of our lives. We dust ourselves off and get back in there!

I wish I had the gift of words to show you that motivation isn't what keeps us going. It sometimes isn't even what gets us to make the first step. That first step can be excruciating. We sometimes cry, kicking and screaming like children. Our fingers holding onto the doorway for dear life as we're dragged out the door! That doesn't mean we miss the opportunity to go outside.

Taking one step. Completing one small goal. (And that's what those choices are. Small goals.)...it builds resolve. It builds confidence. It builds drive to want to accomplish more small goals. And more.

Who needs perfection when you have perseverance?

You can do this.
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:17 PM   #8
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Why not try to NOT focus on your weight? Focus on just getting healthy! Cut out the junk and eat six small meals a day - primarily lean protein and veggies. Take your vitamins! Work out at least an hour a day. And forget the scale!! Get rid of your weight loss ticker! Instead, change it to a days healthy ticker. Keep your head up and stop focusing on the weight. Feel good about yourself because starting now, you are healthy!
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:22 PM   #9
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I gained back 40 pounds, and now I feel like it is SO hard.. I was so dedicated when I lost 140 pounds.. I brought my measuring cups to thanksgiving dinner! Now I find every excuse possible not to stay on program... GRRR. I just want to give you a hug right now

All you can really do is TRY... maybe your motivation will come with time..
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Old 06-04-2011, 10:23 PM   #10
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Thanks, everybody, It really helps to have you all here for support..
I really helps to know i am not alone. Lovely, I love the There is not tomorrow, there is only today, thing. that is a great way to think, and makes it easier when i don't think about tomorrow, or the next day or the next. A lot of my problem is, that i will be great on one day, then get to thinking about all the days, months, and years to come, and i just give up. It feels to hard to think about sometimes.
When i lost all the weight before, i was counting calories, but looking back the other day at my books, i wasn't getting enough calories, i was getting less than a 1000 cals a day, i don't know how i ever thought i could make that last. That was right after i got on the metformin for insulin resistance and i just simply wasn't hungry. Now i just simply can't do that, my body and mind will not allow it. I have the Eat Right for you Type book, it is a diet based on your blood type, and it really works, but i have to stick with it. I have a friend who got the lap band, and has lost a ton of weight, but she doesn't exercise at all, and i don't want to be that way. I want to be healthy, I want so badly to be a joggter, but it seems so out of reach. Right now my back always hurts, i know it is the weight, and i really have to get it off. I was told that i was headed for a heart attack by the time i was 40. I am 33 now, i don't want to head down that road. I have to take control, right now, for me.. for my kids.. for my husband.. I want to be here, and able to go out and play ball with my kiddos.. This is literally the hardest thing i have ever done in my life, it is a daily struggle. I don't like me very much right now at all, cause it seems all i do is fail, everyday over and over, i let myself down. I hate feeling out of control, and i feel it all the time right now.
Again, thanks to everyone who replied to me, it really helps to hear from you all, and know that you are here for me.. Thank you
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Old 06-05-2011, 07:48 AM   #11
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You can do it!

Im using myfitnesspal website to count my calories and its really good!

You just need to find the right mind frame again know and feel you can do this and nothing will stop you!
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Old 06-05-2011, 09:51 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NotTheCheat View Post
I am right there with you. I had lost 110 pounds and gained back about 75. I have not only been battling to lose weight, but battling through my own feelings of failure. I was recently diagnosed right over the border into diabetes, and now have to also worry about my blood sugar.

One thing I can say is that I would highly recommend trying a pretty low carb diet. It has made all the difference for me in controlling my hunger. I ate an apple awhile back around lunch time and was hungry for the rest of the day. It was the weirdest thing. I have no idea if that was a fructose reaction or if it was psychosocial, but it was horribly uncomfortable. When I donít eat carbs, I donít crave food. I get reasonably hungry, but not wildly so. I feel satisfied and I donít think about food. As soon as I eat carbs, that all changes. I have simply come to the realization that for now, carbs arenít very healthy for me except in very small and controlled amounts. If you are insulin resistant you may have the same issues as me and may find it works for you too. If you havenít tried it, I would highly recommend it.
Nancy, I am right with you on the carbs. Carbs have always been a trigger food for me. After I started cooking for a family, they snuck back into my life and I gained 80 lbs. Now I've been diagnosed with type II diabetes and have been trying to go back to just about eliminating them, but when you're married to Mr. Potato Head, it's hard.

Carol
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Old 06-06-2011, 04:36 PM   #13
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I may try the low carb thing. My hubby is a meat and potatoes man to, he loves bread, thinks he has to have it all the time, and what sucks is he is not fat, and eats what ever he wants.. I struggle, he can say he needs to lose 5lbs, and bam it is gone.. I am so jealous.. It is hard to cook for hubby and kids and not eat what they are eating. so hard. but i think i am gonna give it a try..
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Old 06-07-2011, 06:20 AM   #14
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Did you consider seeing a therapist?
Perhaps you have food addiction. The best way to battle addiction is through the help of others, because your head isn't straight when it comes to the substance.
The worst thing about food addiction is that you can't go "sober". You will have to get your dosis for the rest of your life.
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:11 AM   #15
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I honestly do consider myself a food addict. I have for a very long time, I have a dr app, on tuesday next week, and im gonna ask him what he thinks, cause he is already not gonna be unhappy with the weight gain. Im pretty sure my a1c is gonna be all screwed up, and he is gonna be mad. I have control for now, and feel really good today so im just gonna live in the moment, and not worry about tomorrow, that really seems to be working for me, it helps keep me focused. Coming here has really helped me so much, and I know that i will keep coming back, so that i can keep the motivation going. Thanks so much everyone..
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