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Old 05-27-2011, 01:49 PM   #1
Lamest Loner Around
0o0o KimoKawaii o0o0's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Louisburg, North Carolina
Posts: 60

S/C/G: 278/260/130

Height: 5'6

Unhappy Anyone close to Raleigh, North Carolina??

Yes, i'm again advertising for someone in or really close to Raleigh, Nc.....

I've posted a similar post to this before, but in short: I'm a loser, with no life outside of the net, i'm obese and have bad skin....aka, Ugly. So i absolutely LOATHE going outside.......i mean i go to the corner store, and ride the bus to target every once in a blue moon, but outside of that...i don't go out by myself much.........i hate the huge looming feeling of being uncomfortable or stared at.

So yeah, i don't exercise as much as i know i could if i went out more........luckily i've managed to lose 15lbs via dancing and DDR inside...........but if i had someone else to work out with, i KNOW i'd feel comfortable going outside and walking!! And then subsequently i know i could loose MUCH more weight.....i just would like a friend/work-out buddy to at least start with! I figure i'd get more comfortable and would be able to go out on my own after a while............=)

But more so, i'm looking for a friend irl.......i'm at a point where i really have no shame in admitting just how pathetic i am............i have ZERO friends in real life..........the only human-interaction i get in real life is via my mom, her friends, and a few other family members!! I haven't had a close friendship irl since i left school YEARS ago!
I finally had the balls to make contact with some old school mates via facebook, but now i wish i haven't - because they all want to meet up with me and all i can think is "Woah, they've all grown up into GORGEOUS in-shape women/men, and i've gained like 100lbs, still have bad skin, and no bf/life!"
So, i never log in to FB, attempting to avoid their request for meeting up.............*sigh*

So yeah.......i thought i'd try here again, since i know people here understand the weight insecurity thing, and it would be nice to find a friend here that's in the area...........

Gosh, i hope i don't sound like a psycho........i'm just honest, and desperate.

Goal #1 = 278 to 180

Ultimate Goal = 278 to 130

*~ Violet ~*
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Old 05-27-2011, 04:49 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 459


No, you don't sound psycho to me. I'm not in NC but wanted to respond because I know how you feel. I was just thinking the other day that I don't have any friends. Really I've never had many friends, the correct description would be that they were aquaintances.

That situation was a contributor to the nervous breakdown I had 10 years ago though not the only one. Now, it doesn't bother me so much. I go to the movies and out to eat by myself all the time (just not on Friday and Saturday nights - don't want to be the pitiful fat chick out by herself on the major date nights ).

I know myself well enough to know that people get on my nerves quickly and that that's because of MY emotional issues that I haven't been able to fix yet. I am one he!! of a moody woman so being alone isn't always painful for me.

Try to find things you enjoy doing by yourself. I love scouring used book stores for cookbooks or hard to find romance novels. Or driving the less crowded roads where I live. Sometimes I'll meet people while I'm out and about and we'll talk for a bit; there's alway a possibility that a friendship could develope from that.

I went back and read some of your old posts and saw an invite from a poster near you to got out to a club where she goes to dance; did you take her up on that invitation? Just like weight loss, getting out there in the world can start with just one small step. Can you come up with one you could commit to?

Get OUT and do something you enjoy during this holiday weekend.

"Nothing more beautiful than knowing your worth" - Fantasia (I'm Doin Me)

Become more aware and deliberate in my food choices. Thanks Sunshine73

My mirror, scale, and lab results are the food journal my body keeps.

SW: 306 (9-9-04)
HW: 334 (3-1-06)
CW: 314 (6-23-09) back up from 298 working towards . . . . . . .
GW: healthy or 170

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Old 05-27-2011, 05:01 PM   #3
TX Fat Chick
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 179

S/C/G: 258/214/160

Height: 5' 3"


I'm in TX but I know exactly how you feel! Try meetup.com I've been on a couple of hikes with folks in a group there.
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Old 05-28-2011, 09:34 AM   #4
Senior Member
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 324

S/C/G: 283/see ticker/180?

Height: 5'9"


hi -- you don't sound a bit psycho : )
I'm not close enough to Raleigh for easy access (if I were I'd be happy to mall-walk with you!), but I agree with others who suggest that you find something you like. Even it's just walking around a park, you'll be moving, enjoying the fresh air, and maybe meeting folks. [BTW, you don't sound like a loser!! We can be so hard on ourselves -- remember, you are working on being healthier and you *deserve* good things.]

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Old 05-29-2011, 01:57 AM   #5
it's always something
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Join Date: Aug 1999
Posts: 11,614


Congrats on the 15lb loss, that's a fantastic start!

I'm so sorry that you feel bad You are right, there are plenty of us here that understand insecurity due to our weight and how it affects our ability to socialize. I think the suggestion to check meetup.com is good and if you don't see a group there that interests you, you can start your own! Hopefully you can draw out more local people that also want to get out and move but are apprehensive. You can create a catchy name for the group with a good description, then sit back and see what happens!

Have you considered that maybe part of how you feel may be more than just discomfort with your weight? It's possible that you might have clinical depression and if so, a visit to your doctor can clear that right up. It's worth a thought anyway.

Don't worry about people looking at you. I've lived in the south all of my life and there are a lot of very large people here. I'm not near Raleigh, but I checked online and the overweight and obesity rates there have skyrocketed. I'll bet if you sat somewhere and just watched the people walk by, you'd realize that there are far more overweight people out there than you realized. It's a sad argument to make to try to make someone feel better, but it's true. No one will notice your weight, seriously!

Btw, I just clicked on your profile page and you are beautiful! I don't see what you see. You have cheek bones to die for, a gorgeous smile, beautiful eyes, and you look so happy!
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Old 05-29-2011, 02:04 AM   #6
Senior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Africa
Posts: 1,699

S/C/G: 134/126/under 124

Height: 5'2.5


I don't live in NC (but I used to- went there for college!), but I just want to say I agree with Suzanne- you are super cute! I love your smile and yes, you do have pretty enviable cheekbones ^_^. Just keep grinning while you're out power walking or biking or doing something else to get outside and enjoy the beautiful summer weather and you're bound to make someone's day!
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Old 05-29-2011, 02:54 AM   #7
Junior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: WNY
Posts: 27

Height: 5'1


You're not crazy at all. I know where you're coming from, I've been there myself

Just remember that this is YOUR life. If you want to go outside and walk around the neighborhood, then DO IT! Don't let anyone stop you from living your life!

Also, I think sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in worrying about how others will judge us. But in reality, everyone is so self-absorbed and in their own world. Chances are they have a million other things on their mind and aren't analyzing every single person that walks past them.

So get out there and do your thing!
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