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Old 05-27-2011, 12:39 PM   #1
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Default Need to get it all out there...

Hey everyone,
Yesterday I had a BAD DAY. I'm having 4 separate issues all at once so I'll separate them out and see if somebody out there understands what I am going through.

1. I am the new "Poster Child" for weightloss. Obviously, I can no longer hide the weightloss. Everyone talks about it. I am bombarded with "you are so skinny!" Yeah, if I was skinny, I'd be at goal weight. Dammit! So now, I am feeling "the pressure". Scared to death I'm going to disappoint people, and now I am trapped in a prison of having to watch my weight for life (I know I shouldn't see it as a prison, but that is my mindset right now, and I need to slap myself).

2. My husband hit goal weight last week. We are the same height, he started out at 210-212, and is now 175. I am happy for him, but then at the same time, I feel that I'm NEVER GOING TO GET THERE. So then I start analyzing the pounds. I was 214 at Christmastime, and now here I am, barely 20lbs under that. 20 lbs loss over 6 months? Freaking slow. Is it going to be another 6 months before goal? Ugghh.

3. Sweet tooth from **** is rearing its' ugly head. So we go to a restaraunt yesterday, and the first thing I see is a glass case with all the desserts. God, I wanted to climb into the case and live in those cakes and pies! So I have my healthy grilled salmon and spinach with baby carrots, which was good. Thoughts of sweets in my head. Go to the movie theater, where I can't eat anything because I am a fatty, and watch a film. While the film is running, my head is saying "fatty...you should eat some candy! Cake!! Pies!!! Cookies!!! Chocolate!" So of course I feel like an addict and I'm mad at myself for #1--having these thoughts and #2--letting myself get upset for having these thoughts. I mean, normal people do not behave this way. What the heck is wrong with me? So then I had a plan for today. I was going to bake an entire batch of cookies while my DH was at work and then head over to See's Candies and do damage. So I got home, had an apple and some peanut butter and went to bed. Talked to DH about what was bugging me, he thought I was mad at him, and now I really feel like crap. He was very understanding. He tried to make me feel better, by telling me once I got to goal him and I could split a piece of cheesecake. Are you freaking kidding me? So now I think if he loved me, he would go get me some cookies, and not care how I look, but obviously, now he wants the trophy wife. But he veils this with "we need to be healthy to be around for our daughter". OK, maybe he is sincere, but my head is not in a good place. So I wake up this morning and I feel better. No, I am not baking those cookies or going to Sees. I don't want to.

4. I'm more critical of my body now than I ever was. And the closer I get to goal, the more I feel I am not going to like the results. My stomach is awful, and even though it is improving, if the last 25 lbs do not leave that region, I'm going to look ridiculous. So why keep killing myself if I will still have a hanging pooch at goal weight? Am I ever going to look in the mirror and be happy? Is there a huge transformation waiting for me in these last 30lbs? God I hope so.

Thanks for listening. I needed to get it out. I need to stay on plan. This is not going to beat me. I will lose the remaining weight.

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Old 05-27-2011, 12:48 PM   #2
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S/C/G: 220 Jan '11, 199 Try 2/186/160

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I so hear you about #4! I have lost 40 pounds since Jan 1 and while trying on dresses for my son's first communion, I was horribly disappointed that there was a fat woman bulging in her size 14 clothes instead of 18s, mind you, but still shapeless and fat in the dressing room mirror! Not fair after all that work! But as you can see by my avatar 30 pounds did wonders for me so I have to have faith that the next 30 will as well and eventually, there will be a healthy woman looking rockin' in her outfit staring out from the mirror with my face on it!
Keep going!!!

Last edited by NTexas; 05-27-2011 at 12:51 PM.
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Old 05-27-2011, 12:56 PM   #3
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1) It can be nice at first to have people notice, but after a while, I'm sure the pressure is a little strange and scary. They're happy for you, and want to show it. Just like when you started this journey others don't matter. It's for you. You're being healthier. You're in control of what you do. Just because you're the new poster child does not mean you have to discuss it with everyone. A quick "Thanks" and a change of the subject to something else may help take the pressure off.

2) Men. *sigh* They are lucky that they lose weight faster. It ain't fair!!!!! *shakes fist into the air* Weight loss for women isn't as fast. And that can't be changed. We can only keep taking one step at a time forward. It might be another six months until goal, but think about how great you feel now 20 pounds lighter than when you were at x-mas time. You've made great improvements. Goal isn't the end of the road. You have benefits of a healthier life NOW. =)

3) More hugs. There's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes we crave something sweet. If it's part of your plan, there's nothing wrong with planning it in within moderation. However, if you choose to not have those things, then good for you as well. Planning to binge on cookies and sweets is different, though, so I'm very glad for you that you decided not to. We don't always get to choose what issues we have in life. You worked through it yesterday. And today you don't want them. Good! You made it through. Your husband was likely trying to be supportive, not trying to say "i want a trophy wife". He also knows you want to be healthier, too.

4) Fat & weight leave the body with no rhyme or reason to where. I could lose in my arms first, or my stomach or my thighs, or all over. Who knows? I hear the last pounds actually show the biggest transformation, but we aren't magically going to look like our versions of "perfect" just because we lose weight. Exercise can help, but at some point I must accept that I may never look like Alyssa Milano just because I drop a few pounds. I -can- however, look like the best me! So figure out what's great about you and focus on that.

This is not going to beat me. I will lose the remaining weight.
You are darn right! You can do this. You ARE doing this. =)
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Old 05-27-2011, 01:09 PM   #4
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Location: Louisburg, North Carolina
Posts: 60

S/C/G: 278/260/130

Height: 5'6


#1) Well i wish i had this problem to be quite honest......>_<

#2) Again, i wish i had this problem, but i'm still horridly obese so yeah.......

#3) LoLs!! Ah, my thing is Pizza and Ice Cream!! Man - i LOVEEEEEEEEEE Pizza!!!! hahaha. But thankfully i'm so poor and broke atm, i can't afford to order pizza or buy ice cream! >__<

#4) Again, i can't relate - would love to be able to.......
But yeah, are you going to look like a model? No, and yes - you might have to do some toning and etc. to get closer to the look you want........but remember, no one is perfect, and no ones body is perfect.........so no matter what you do, you can't achieve perfect....so don't be too hard on yourself.

Besides, perfect is lame and boring!! hehe =P

Goal #1 = 278 to 180

Ultimate Goal = 278 to 130

*~ Violet ~*
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Old 05-27-2011, 01:15 PM   #5
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Here is some math and reason to comfort you:

You've lost about 28.5% of your body weight. It has been a huge transformation in those 75 lbs, right?

When you get to goal, there will be 15% less of you than there is now. So think about the dramatic difference between your SW (270) and when you weighed 232 (the first 37 lbs). Those 37 lbs = your last 28 lbs. The impact will be equally dramatic.

This is something I struggle with, too. It gets harder. I used to lose 3.5 lbs a week. Now I'm positively ecstatic if I lose 1 lb a week. Stick with it. I'm sure you will find it worth it in the end.
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Old 05-27-2011, 01:36 PM   #6
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S/C/G: 270?/See Ticker/185

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Thanks guys. I feel better already.

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Old 05-27-2011, 01:46 PM   #7
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S/C/G: 275/155/189/???

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1. Don't worry about it - people really don't pay that much attention. Soon they will get used to the "new you" and stop commenting altogether. They will completely forget. The only pressure on you to stay trim is from you.

2. So what if it takes 6 more months? Really - so what? This is a serious question. I want you to try and articulate what is so bad and terrible and awful about it possibly taking 6 months more - or even longer - for you to reach goal. Why is this worth being upset over?

Stop and think about how quickly the last 6 months went by. Think of something that happened a year or two ago that still feels like just yesterday. 6 months will go by in the blink of an eye. And if it takes a year, that will go by in the blink of an eye. But so what if it does take a year to reach goal? Would it be better if you just gave up and gained it all back? Didn't think so.

(PS. It took me about 21 months to lose the same amount of weight that you've lost, and I don't even think I'll be at goal weight in six months, so if I sound unsympathetic - yeah, I am unsympathetic.)

3. Take a deep breath and listen to yourself. Read what you wrote. Your husband doesn't want you at goal weight so he can have a skinny trophy wife. He wants you at goal weight because you are miserable and sullen about being overweight. He wants you at goal weight because it is what you want. He wants you happy.

4. Here, as in #2, I just have to give you a big fat "so what." So you aren't going to look like a supermodel when you reach goal weight - so what? Most of us don't. Do you really think you'll look worse than you did at your heaviest? And if not, isn't the improvement something to be proud of and pleased with? Anyway here's the best news of all - if, when you get there, you really think you looked better when you were fat, it's not that hard to gain it all back again!
High weight: 275 (August 2009) *** Low weight: 155 (October 2012)
Today, working off a partial regain. Current weight: 189.
* Make the best choice I can make, with every choice.
* Remember that the temptation in front of me is not the last of its kind that I will ever see; say "I'll pass today."
* Say "no!" to my whiny inner five-year-old.

Last edited by carter; 05-27-2011 at 01:48 PM.
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Old 05-27-2011, 02:20 PM   #8
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Just wanted to add that skin takes awhile to shrink up. Like a pregnancy belly - that skin needs time to do it's thing. So, sometimes we lose faster than our bodies can shrink up. I've heard it takes about a year for loose skin th get to the best it can be.

I do understand you. My husband was never heavy, but he was a bit heavier than he wanted to be. He's lost 15 pounds in the time I've lost 45. His body looks great because he's always taken care of it. I've weighed as much as 275 and had to huge babies. My stomach and thighs are gross. BUT they are a heck of a lot better than when I was 275. I know I'll never have a bikini body, but that's OK. Very few of us have a body like that and well, I gained all that weight - how can I expect it not to have done it's damage to my 'cuteness' factor.

Heck, my end weight will probably be higher than my husband's goal weight and he's 7 inches taller than me! But you know what? Neither of us care. We are taking better care of ourselves and are living actively. I owe it to my kids to keep around as long as possible - and as healthily as possible! So do you.

Restart 5/18/15 began at 263.9. All time high was 275 in 7/03. Low in Summer 2012 of 169.
A for the first 50 pounds lost, plus a for every additional 5 pounds lost on the weight loss reboot:

My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/
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Old 05-27-2011, 02:54 PM   #9
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S/C/G: 235/seeticker/135

Height: 5'3"



We all get those thoughts now and then. It's perfectly normal.

But yeah I don't think your hubby wants a trophy wife- I think he wants you to continue your journey. I mean look how far you have come! "only" 20 lbs in 6 months is great! Overall you have lost almost 80 lbs so don't be silly you are doing awesome!
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Old 05-27-2011, 05:15 PM   #10
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S/C/G: 238.5/?/no more scale 4 me!

Height: 5ft 4 (on a good day!)


i relate to all of those especially the why keep killing myself if i am going to still have the pooch? it's like no matter how much i lose the "scars" aka extra skin will always be there to remind me and i feel like the world will always see i used to be fat.

Starting Point 238.5 lbs, Size 18/20 (2/20/11)
Size 12 Jeans (accomplished 10/28/11)
Size 10 Jeans (accomplished 12/23/11)
Next Goal: Size 8 Jeans (Valentine's Day)

"so you're scared and you're thinking that maybe you ain't that young anymore, show a little faith there's magic in the night, you ain't a beauty but hey you're all right..."
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Old 05-27-2011, 07:52 PM   #11
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I also want to say that I think you are being really hard on yourself. You keep calling yourself "fatty" which is unnecessarily mean. Have you ever thought that these negative feelings are fueling your desire to eat?

Also, do you allow yourself small treats once in awhile? It sounds like you could really use it. Sugar-free chocolate, light popcorn (popped at home) or twizzlers are good options for the movies (though I realize it takes some planning since you have to bring them from home).

Today, I went to the store to get pizza dough and stopped and got a bag of chips. Chips are my weakness. I can't have just 1 serving. Even if I do, I will go back and eat the whole bag late at night. So, I usually don't keep chips in the house. However, I thought, it is holiday, I can have some chips! Then I left the line and put them back and I feel better about myself for it. You should feel good that you did not binge eat today.
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