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Old 05-17-2011, 05:14 PM   #1
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Default Why do I always give up?

In the past year and half I have always given up after 3 to 6 days. The longest I have been on a diet is 10 days total and then I have given up and gone back to my old eating habits. What is wrong with me. Why can't I committ?
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Old 05-17-2011, 05:20 PM   #2
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It's easier to give up, than to keep trying.
Thats why you have to find a reason to make it worth it to you, enough of reason to stick to it.

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Old 05-17-2011, 05:21 PM   #3
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Have you considered making smaller changes over a longer period of time, so you're not jumping in all at once and then feeling overwhelmed before the week is out?
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Old 05-17-2011, 06:38 PM   #4
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Make sure you are making a plan for yourself that you are able to manage. I know I started a million "diets" before I stuck to it. What would happen is that I would get books and guides to follow and they just didn't work with my lifestyle. So I had to work into what would work for me. I started with removing things: potatoes, rice, pasta, bread and sugar. Then my rulebook started to emerge... and I found good for you foods that satisfied and properly nourished me.

FIND YOUR OWN WAY... don't try to change everything overnight.
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Old 05-17-2011, 07:14 PM   #5
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What are you doing exactly? Are you making your plan so extreme you give up? Or are you expecting to lose 10 lbs a week?

If you are doing too much at once and getting overwhelmed I agree to make small changes. IE - Week 1-2: Cut out soda, Week 3-4: no more junkfood snacks, week 5-6: no more fast food.

Then during that time start encorporating healthier food in your diet. Once you have things going then slowly add in exercise. My first exercise goal was TEN MINUTES a week
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Old 05-17-2011, 07:27 PM   #6
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Hmm. Give us a little bit more info!

I know that jumping in and changing everything in one week is NOT something I can personally handle. This past month my exercise goal was a measly 5 minutes each and every day. But, hey, I accomplished that and this month I've added another 5 minutes to each day. I'm going to keep going from here until I reach about 30 minutes a day.

My very first change ever? Drinking water. I am ever thankful that drinking water stuck with me since I was about 16 years old. I can only imagine how much worse my diet (and teeth) would be if I'd been drinking sugary things. To this day I don't drink any of my calories. That is a small change that stuck.

Commit to something small, continue, build up. No need to rush everything! You can do it!
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Old 05-17-2011, 08:09 PM   #7
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What a great strategy stacygee! And you've obviously been successful! For me, it was a decision that whatever plan I chose had to be something sustainable, something I could live with basically for life. You really need to find the plan that works with your body and personality.

I was lucky to have South Beach recommended to me, and though the first two weeks are more restrictive, I got so much energy pretty quickly that I wanted to stay on plan most of the time. I also didn't beat myself up if I went off plan now and then. Plus, I didn't have to count anything really, points, calories, carbs, fat grams. I could put the basics on a sticky note. That was really important to me. So was eating often and enough protein that I was never hungry. The hardest part was switching from a carb-based breakfast (even healthy carbs are not good for me at breakfast) to a protein-based one.

This can become a real adventure of discovery, of yourself, of life. If you concentrate on being deprived, it will be hard to stick to. I took on the challenge of learning how to cook really well, so that I could make healthy as tasty as possible. I can honestly say the almost two years I've been at this have been really fun.
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Old 05-17-2011, 08:12 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tarashoar View Post
In the past year and half I have always given up after 3 to 6 days. The longest I have been on a diet is 10 days total and then I have given up and gone back to my old eating habits. What is wrong with me. Why can't I committ?
I don't know why - you tell us.

Why are you giving up after just a few days? Are you hungry? Are you surrounded by tempting foods you can't resist? Are you not planning ahead so that you find yourself with "no choice" but to eat off plan?

Think about what is going wrong, and set yourself up to avoid that problem.

If you are hungry, ask questions about what kinds of foods are low calorie but still satisfying, so that you can be hungry less of the time. (There is also a certain amount of discomfort you just have to will your way through, in the beginning. If you have a good healthy plan, I promise this gets easier.)

If you are surrounded by tempting snacks, think about how to remove them from your environment and replace them with on-plan snacks instead. Throw out your junk food, bring apples and boiled eggs to the office, etc.

If you are not planning ahead, start planning ahead, so you don't find yourself at the mall food court starving at lunchtime with "no choice" but to order a pizza.

These are just examples; without knowing more about why you are having trouble staying on plan, it's hard to give advice about how to get yourself past that stumbling block. So, take a look at how you are stumbling, and try to set yourself up not to stumble in that particular way next time.
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* Remember that the temptation in front of me is not the last of its kind that I will ever see; say "I'll pass today."
* Say "no!" to my whiny inner five-year-old.
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Old 05-17-2011, 09:14 PM   #9
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Take small steps. I love food so much that I know it will be hard for me to lose weight with dieting alone, so started exercising first before I made small changes to my diet (I'm still in the cutting out fast food phase. I generally eat healthy when I cook, but when I'm out or when I don't have time to cook, I turn into fast food). I still keep slipping into my old eating habits (that's why weight loss has been not good for the past month). It's hard but understand that this is something that you'll do for the rest of your life, so don't rush. Take it one step at a time. If you stumble, just set your path right the next day.
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Old 05-17-2011, 09:21 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stacygee View Post
Make sure you are making a plan for yourself that you are able to manage. I know I started a million "diets" before I stuck to it. What would happen is that I would get books and guides to follow and they just didn't work with my lifestyle. So I had to work into what would work for me. I started with removing things: potatoes, rice, pasta, bread and sugar. Then my rulebook started to emerge... and I found good for you foods that satisfied and properly nourished me.

FIND YOUR OWN WAY... don't try to change everything overnight.
Wish I could like this post. Well, I do like this post and it makes sense and works!
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Old 05-17-2011, 09:33 PM   #11
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For me, I had to stop expecting perfection. I thought that if I didn't stick with a plan perfectly (whether for a day, a week or a month). Whenever I made a mistake, I'd start beating myself up for not being able to "stick with" the plan.

"This time" I've given up perfection. I can't swear that I've ever gone 6 days without a mistake during any of my 90 lb loss. I'm not even sure I've ever been perfect even 3 days in a row.

In the past, if I ate something off plan, or didn't food journal one day - I'd quit because "obviously I can't stay on plan."

If you can't go more than 3 to 6 days without going off plan, then change your plan, or just get back on plan after the mistake. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to do better.

Returning to old eating habits for one snack, one meal, one day, even a week doesn't prove you can't lose weight. If you get right back on plan (even if it's a different plan) you cal lose all the weight you need to, even if you make lots and lots of mistakes.

I can truly say that this time (by my old definition) I've "failed" off 90 lbs. Those 90 lbs were accomplished even though I couldn't and still can't stay perfectly on plan for more than a few days at a time - so what. Eat the off plan snack and get right back on the next meal (don't decide that since you've blown it for the day you might as well eat everything in site and start fresh tomorrow or Monday). Just get right back on track for the next meal.

That's not the way most of us learned to diet (because we do what we've seen other people do, and most people do diet by the "I've blown it, I might as well binge before I start fresh at being perfect again" method.

You can make big changes or small changes. One change or tons of them. And the bigger your goals, the more mistakes you will make. You've got to be ok with making mistakes, because you can succeed even with a lot of mistakes. You can even succeed all the way to goal with a lot of mistakes.

The more mistakes you make, the slower your weight loss is going to be, so the goal always has to be fewer mistakes, but habits are hard to break so when you find yourself falling back on them, you don't have to see it as hopeless.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:47 AM   #12
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I'm a NO QUITTER attitude kinda broad. While I have, & still do, mess up...stumble...revert back to old eating habits, etc... I just keep plugging away. Had 3 donuts? OH well, back on plan at NEXT MEAL... not tomorrow, not "start again on Monday", etc. Didn't feel like exercising this morning, so I just blew it off? - make plan to exercise this afternoon! Had cake at the birthday party even tho I had an apple & peanut butter snack BEFORE I left the house to ENSURE that I wouldn't "have cake at the birthday party"...?? Yeah, well, it's a piece of cake, not a disease!

FORGIVE YOURSELF & MOVE ON. Never quit. Stumble, fall, get back on that horse. Start again as many times as it takes. After all, giving up will never get you anywhere.
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Old 05-19-2011, 04:36 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
For me, I had to stop expecting perfection. I thought that if I didn't stick with a plan perfectly (whether for a day, a week or a month). Whenever I made a mistake, I'd start beating myself up for not being able to "stick with" the plan.

"This time" I've given up perfection. I can't swear that I've ever gone 6 days without a mistake during any of my 90 lb loss. I'm not even sure I've ever been perfect even 3 days in a row.

In the past, if I ate something off plan, or didn't food journal one day - I'd quit because "obviously I can't stay on plan."

If you can't go more than 3 to 6 days without going off plan, then change your plan, or just get back on plan after the mistake. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to do better.

Returning to old eating habits for one snack, one meal, one day, even a week doesn't prove you can't lose weight. If you get right back on plan (even if it's a different plan) you cal lose all the weight you need to, even if you make lots and lots of mistakes.

I can truly say that this time (by my old definition) I've "failed" off 90 lbs. Those 90 lbs were accomplished even though I couldn't and still can't stay perfectly on plan for more than a few days at a time - so what. Eat the off plan snack and get right back on the next meal (don't decide that since you've blown it for the day you might as well eat everything in site and start fresh tomorrow or Monday). Just get right back on track for the next meal.

That's not the way most of us learned to diet (because we do what we've seen other people do, and most people do diet by the "I've blown it, I might as well binge before I start fresh at being perfect again" method.

You can make big changes or small changes. One change or tons of them. And the bigger your goals, the more mistakes you will make. You've got to be ok with making mistakes, because you can succeed even with a lot of mistakes. You can even succeed all the way to goal with a lot of mistakes.

The more mistakes you make, the slower your weight loss is going to be, so the goal always has to be fewer mistakes, but habits are hard to break so when you find yourself falling back on them, you don't have to see it as hopeless.
Awesome post!!!!

I've fallen off the wagon several times in the last 7 months. I just get back on and keep going.
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Old 05-19-2011, 04:47 PM   #14
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Wow, thank you for that. I am having a hard time even figuring out what my 'plan' is. Basically it's calorie-counting, eating low-fat, etc. But figuring out how MANY calories is tough and I'm kind of in an 'exploratory' mode right now seeing what works. I am trying to learn and believe that one or two mistakes (even per day!) will not ruin my weight loss. Our bodies are amazing in that they can recover from these setbacks better than our brains.
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