3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Trying to be objetive an thoughtful,and considerate, but,

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-16-2011, 12:08 AM   #1
Jillian stole my abs!
 
shcirerf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Go Huskers!
Posts: 2,541

S/C/G: 195.8/138/140

Height: 5'5"

Default Trying to be objetive an thoughtful,and considerate, but,

Warning, long rambling post! With no particular point, just venting.

I do love this site. I'd be lost without it. But, some posts, make me want to scream, grow some b**ls!

Don't get me wrong, I do understand where the young ladies are coming from. But, I've been through so much, and am still hanging on by a lettuce leaf, that I just want to have one of those 2 year old screaming, crying, fits. Bang my head, kick my feet, scream and cry in the middle of Wal Mart.

It isn't really the people here, it's the stress in my life. It's a long story.

I'm trying to deal with being molested as a child and all the junk that goes with that, the family knows, but won't admit it. OK. That hurts. Last year, I said ENOUGH! I will no longer attend that family reunion. Wonder of wonders, my mother and sisters, supported that and we did our own thing. That was a blessed relief.

The sisters were on board, Mom, well, we gave her an ultimatum. My father is not in the picture, he was killed in a farm accident in 1977. Still love that man. He had so much common sense it would scare the crap out of most of us.

So, fast forward, I"ve been married to the same man, since 1977. We have 2 great kids. One, with a degree, in business and finance, he is now a State trooper, DOT officer and SWAT sniper. Our other son has a degree in human biology, radiological tech, and has passed all the tests to teach jr high and high school biology and science and has his football and bb coaching endorsements. He is teaching and coaching!

I have great kids, great DIL's and the cutest grand babies ever! Devani and Allie! Love those little girls.

So, anyway, to ramble along. The dh had a nasty accident in 02 that took, 15 months, numerous surgeries and several amputations to finally recover from, while dealing with workmans comp. That was a joy.

Now he's had heart issues for the last year plus. Numerous ER visits, drugs, tests, and more tests, and x-rays, nuclear tests, cat scans, etc. and more this and more drugs and more that and it goes on and on.

Now, he's had heart surgery in January for his A-fib. The Dr. said it would take awhile for this to get better. OK. Now, he had surgery in Jan. ONe follow up appt. in Feb. The Dr. said they would send an event moniter in April, it never showed up. NO contact with The Dr. It is now May. He informed me he has quit taking his A-fib meds and his blood thinner.

Yay! Can you say mind blowing stroke!?

I do understand, that we are remiss in not making sure the follow up visits were scheduled. Our fault, but geez, you'd think when the insurance pays $78,000 to the hospital and dr., and you've met the deductible and out of pocket expense, for the year, they would love to see you all year long.

So now, DH informs me, he has a pain in his ribs, that hurts to breath. *rolls eyes* He is sure he has a tumor. He's had this imaginary cancer forever! So, I made him an Appt. with our GP. I already informed him I will not be there, it interferes with my WW meeting.

I am not trying to be selfish, but since 1995, I have spent all of my vacation days, either chasing the kids or chasing my hub and his issues.

I am tired. I actually have a Dr.s appt on Monday for the rash I have had on my back for 3 years, but simply was not as important enough to deal with, with everything else going on. Not to mention, I'm like 5 years over due for a mammo and Pap

As far as loose skin and saggy what ever. YOu have no idea. I had twin boys that weighed over 6 pounds each. My whole body sags. Thank you Mr. Newton for discovering gravity. *insert sarcasm* Then the stretch mark thing. I have them up the wazoo. They are what they are.

Now, if I could just find a bra that fits, that the girls don't want to escape from, that does not pinch, bind, bite, pinch, etc. I would like that.

Anyway, there is no particular point. I just needed to let off some steam.
Thanks for listening!
__________________

3+ year maintainer.
The human body is capable of amazing things! But without the mind, it is nothing. Get your mind in gear and the body will follow!

Be selfish about caring for yourself, you deserve it!
Weight Watcher leader! But always a Member first!
shcirerf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 12:29 AM   #2
onedayatatimer
 
luckymommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,268

S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155

Height: 5'9.5"

Default

You have definitely been through a whole lot! I certainly understand why you're frustrated with some of the posts here....loose skin worries do seem insignificant compared to some of your struggles. However, keep in mind that many of us have been through much deeper struggles, but we come here to focus on our weight management and sometimes, that leads to the realm of body image, etc. I really do feel for you though! I hope things will finally settle to the point where you can enjoy your life, rather than constantly putting out fires.
__________________

First goal: under 180: 6/2/15
Second goal: 175 or below: 6/9/15
Third goal: 168 (no longer overweight):
Fourth goal: 161 (what I weighed before I fell off):
Fifth goal: below 160:
Final goal: 145-155:
luckymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 12:56 AM   #3
Made of Starstuff
 
Lovely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,806

Default

I don't have anything to say really, but I wanted to extend a hug. Or two. Or three.

Lovely is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 09:33 AM   #4
Senior Member
 
GlamourGirl827's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Under the Sea
Posts: 1,803

S/C/G: New Baby/Ticker/Half Marathon

Height: 5' 6" on a good day

Default

I can understand how reading a post where someone is venting or complaining about what seems insignificant can be frustrating, but as someone said, its important to remember we all have our crosses to bare.

When I first became a nurse, I found myself judging people's "situations" in relation to their "complaining or dealing with it". Thankfully, I realized that everyone has the right to be as upset as they want over something no matter how small I felt the issue was, because its not up to me to decide who has it worse.

I'm sorry that about all the stress you have had on your plate. Sometimes, when I find myself getting upset over that fact that my life has been nothing short of a nightmare from the beginning, and I see other people complaining about a life I would have LOVED to have because their life just seems so easy, I think:
1. I don't know their life is easy. I should not assume they had it easier than me.
2. I pat myself on the back, for being so strong. For being resilient. For not letting circumstances I had NO control over be my excuse to be a victim the rest of my life.

I'm not trying to minimize your situation, but please don't minimize other people's posts either.
__________________



2007- 230 lbs to 160 lbs after baby #1 Boy
2010- 220 lbs to 145 lbs after baby #2 Boy
2013 - 215 lbs to 157 lbs after baby #3 Boy
Baby #4 - It's a Girl! born 3-19-15

~Done having babies and losing for the last time~
GlamourGirl827 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:06 AM   #5
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 90

S/C/G: 163/143/135ish

Height: 5'2

Default

Vent Away! Sometimes we need that and it's okay that you did. Here's a hug!
RachaelJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:07 AM   #6
~Kim~
 
TooManyDimples's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ormond Beach, Florida
Posts: 1,083

S/C/G: 265.8~256~135

Height: 5'4

Default

I can kinda feel your pain. There are some posts on here that drive me crazy. I have more of a problem with the "look at me, look at me" kind of post. I understand when people want encouragement and that's definitely a good thing around here, but when it's obvious someone is just looking for attention or compliments it drives me batty.
__________________
10 Year Anniversary Goal - June 25, 2016
Notable Dates!
April 12, 2015 - Restarting Weight Loss - 265.8
TooManyDimples is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:15 AM   #7
Senior Member
 
ButterCup85's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 358

S/C/G: 250/184/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

I understand! We all need to vent sometimes. Just remember we all have our own journeys of healing to go on. And, what may not seem important to you may be for others. Don't judge your story against someone elses, and try not to let their "small" problems as you may see it bother you.

We all have our own journeys to take, being on a forum for sexually abused children that are now adults, I had to learn that. I felt as if my 10+ years weren't compared to others who were molested by family, or repeatedly raped, or ones that actually remembered everything that happened.

But, I came to the realization this is my journey, it's my healing process and I don't deserve to have it made small by comparing myself to others. And, for ones who think they didn't have it as bad as me, they don't deserve to have it made small by me. We all have our journey. We all have our own healing. All we can do is try to understand and be there and encourage one another.

We're all in this thing called life together!
ButterCup85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:17 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
GlamourGirl827's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Under the Sea
Posts: 1,803

S/C/G: New Baby/Ticker/Half Marathon

Height: 5' 6" on a good day

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TooManyDimples View Post
I can kinda feel your pain. There are some posts on here that drive me crazy. I have more of a problem with the "look at me, look at me" kind of post. I understand when people want encouragement and that's definitely a good thing around here, but when it's obvious someone is just looking for attention or compliments it drives me batty.
This really doesn't bother me. It used to. But when someone posts that kind of post, its probably because they don't have that positive encouragement or compliments IRL. People need positive attention, and maybe this website is the only place they get that. I don't mean to stir the pot, but I don't think a thread about how some people's posts are annoying is a healthy tone.
For some people this site might be all the support they have. (for weightloss and maybe personal life, since there are sections of this forum for non weightloss related issues) I think we should encourage people to post, not discourage it because someone might find the post annoying or a cry for attention.

And so what if someone does post a cry for attention, and we give them a little positive feedback? Then maybe we've made someone a little happier, or maybe we've let someone know somebody cares. Even if we are all just screen names on a forum, there are real people behind those screen names.

I'm sorry, but the direction this thread is heading, I find it non productive, and really not related to weight loss, which is the topic of this specific section of the forum.
__________________



2007- 230 lbs to 160 lbs after baby #1 Boy
2010- 220 lbs to 145 lbs after baby #2 Boy
2013 - 215 lbs to 157 lbs after baby #3 Boy
Baby #4 - It's a Girl! born 3-19-15

~Done having babies and losing for the last time~

Last edited by GlamourGirl827 : 05-16-2011 at 10:18 AM.
GlamourGirl827 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:21 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
ButterCup85's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 358

S/C/G: 250/184/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GlamourGirl827 View Post
This really doesn't bother me. It used to. But when someone posts that kind of post, its probably because they don't have that positive encouragement or compliments IRL. People need positive attention, and maybe this website is the only place they get that. I don't mean to stir the pot, but I don't think a thread about how some people's posts are annoying is a healthy tone.
For some people this site might be all the support they have. (for weightloss and maybe personal life, since there are sections of this forum for non weightloss related issues) I think we should encourage people to post, not discourage it because someone might find the post annoying or a cry for attention.

And so what if someone does post a cry for attention, and we give them a little positive feedback? Then maybe we've made someone a little happier, or maybe we've let someone know somebody cares. Even if we are all just screen names on a forum, there are real people behind those screen names.

I'm sorry, but the direction this thread is heading, I find it non productive, and really not related to weight loss, which is the topic of this specific section of the forum.
I agree with this. Not say you can't vent. But, imagine right now someone is posting how this person is complaining about their hard life when we've all had one. And even more they are complaining about what others complain about. It would probably hurt the main posters feelings. I really am not being mean, at all. We all just need to accept one another and be thankful for the support we have here. Whether it's asking for attention, venting, bragging, talking, etc. Love is really all you need. Towards others and especially ones self.
ButterCup85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:22 AM   #10
Senior Member
 
Emmy1979's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: TN
Posts: 133

S/C/G: 218/186.8/140

Height: 5'4"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GlamourGirl827 View Post

And so what if someone does post a cry for attention, and we give them a little positive feedback? Then maybe we've made someone a little happier, or maybe we've let someone know somebody cares. Even if we are all just screen names on a forum, there are real people behind those screen names.

^^ This. ^^

And also a big hug to you, shcirerf - because I think that may be what you need today.
__________________
Emmy <3



http://emmywills.blogspot.com/

Last edited by Emmy1979 : 05-16-2011 at 10:22 AM.
Emmy1979 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:22 AM   #11
Soul Cyster
 
beerab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: California
Posts: 4,487

S/C/G: 235/seeticker/135

Height: 5'3"

Default

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope your husband is back on his meds and that it's NOT a tumor.
__________________
beerab is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:33 AM   #12
Senior Member
 
bargoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149

S/C/G: 204/114/120

Height: 5'

Default

Janelle. life has handed you a lot. I can only say take care of yourself.Those children need you and DH, too . Sometimes I am reminded of the old song "Why is everybody pickin' on me". I wish I could help you someway. Keep coming here and vent all you want, if this is the only place you can do it. So be it. Good luck.
__________________
Goal 12/21/2007
bargoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 10:54 AM   #13
Gimpy B%^$#*tch
 
saef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Atlantis, which is near Manhattan
Posts: 5,812

S/C/G: (H)247/(C)140/(G)142-138

Height: 5'3"

Default

Did your husband make you feel badly for not attending his doctor appointment with him? Or rather, do you feel somewhat guilty that you can't go, and have put your health first & are headed to your Weight Watchers' meeting anyway? Are you dealing with an inner critic that is calling you "selfish"?

As for the posts here, I figure we're all just trying to make it through this life. And real life can be alienating. It can be lonely even when you're in the midst of a lot of people, if you feel they don't "get" you. If you feel misunderstood in your actual physical community, there's always the Internet, aka, The Island of Misfit Toys.

And some people really need validation badly, and aren't getting it, and are willing to go to the Internet to get it from complete strangers.

I don't think the people who turn easily & frequently to other people are necessarily weaker than people who stoically soldier on without asking for anything. Both approaches have their drawbacks. It's just a different way of getting by, that's all.
__________________
saef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 02:26 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
DixC Chix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Just moved out of denial
Posts: 881

S/C/G: 298/238...285.5/217/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

I agree with you shciref. Sometimes the posts make me roll my eyes.
But before I read them, I take note of the author, read the little balloon preview and decide if I want to go further. Too much can be too much, for me anyway.

It sounds like you have caretaker burnout. You have been putting others first for a long time, way too long. DH is a grown man, an adult, he's invested in his health care more than anyone else. He should be more interested in taking Rxs. Can you sit down with him to find out why he did that? It seems really self-distructive. It may be he is depressed about having been chronically ill for so long. Get a dr appt soon to discuss this.

Does he know how important it is TO YOU that you go to WW meetings? Does he know you have let your own health care go in lieu of his?

NUMERO UNO - take care of yourself NOW in every way. Make this the month of shciref!! GYN, MAMMO, dentist, eye doctor, mani/pedi, massage, facial...top to bottom!!! You deserve it and need it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by saef View Post
The Island of Misfit Toys.
I love obscure South Park references.
__________________
Minigoal


Long term goal


Every day do something to make a better tomorrow.
Discipline is remembering what you want.
DixC Chix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2011, 03:30 PM   #15
Le geek, c'est chic
 
Nola Celeste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Metairie, LA
Posts: 1,213

S/C/G: 232/see ticker/150ish

Height: 5'2" and change

Default

I thought the Island of Misfit Toys was an obscure Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer reference. (That was the one, right? I know I loved those stop-motion animation Christmas shows as a kid, but they got a little scrambled up in my little kid brain.) Not that I don't love South Park, too, though--so either way, it's all good.

Yeah, sometimes other posts are frustrating or bewildering. I'm sure, though, that there are times people have looked at a few of my posts and thought, "Wow, whiskey-tango-foxtrot is this chick thinking to post something like that!?" Different camels' backs have different breaking points; you can carry more straws than most, but that doesn't mean others with fewer straws don't find them onerous, too.

Sometimes it helps to remember how I would've perceived some things at half my age and to realize that we ourselves may have been very different people before we had the heaping helpings of difficult crap to deal with served up to us. I remember thinking that looking comical in shorts seemed like a dire fate to me at one time; I'm not that person now, but I remember being her.

And yeah, there are a very few posts that make me think, "Oh, geez, grow a pair of ovaries!" But I don't have to read them or answer them if I choose not to. 3FC is a friendly haven to so many people; I don't need to make it feel unfriendly to others even if I think an unfriendly thought or three in the privacy of my own computer room.
__________________
Nola Celeste is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:11 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2