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When people start thinking you're "too thin" when you're clearly NOT thin.

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Old 05-15-2011, 07:45 PM   #1
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Default When people start thinking you're "too thin" when you're clearly NOT thin.

Well I knew it was bound to happen...

Just today I was thinking how I'm startin to feel "normal". I'm not saying its the same for everyone, its just my own personal point/size/weight where I feel like I blend in, that I'm not this blob in the room. For me my point is about now, comfortably in a size 12 and just a smidge above the 150s. (and I know everyone will have their own idea of when it is, I'm NOT saying my opinion is the only right answer, it just works for me)

So I'm just starting to feel good. I'm starting to like how I look in the mirror, I notice exercising is getting easier, ect...

THEN IT HAPPENED!!!!!!

My dad (who means well) and hasn't seen me in about 3 weeks, said as we were leaving that I need to come by so he can put a few pounds on me!!

Um, now if you look at my height and weight, I'm not even a healthy BMI yet! Sheesh!! And my dad, until the past few years has always been super thin. And even now he is NOT over weight.
I guess he's just so used to seeing me over weight, which aside from a few time in my 20s when I got down to like 155lbs, I've always been like 165 'bs to 170 lbs. (once I got down to 145 lbs, but did not maintain it for like more than a few weeks) Also, since having the kids, I notice I'm carrying my weight differently, and I seem to look better at my current weight 161, then I did before having kids and weighting 161...

The thing is I plan on losing MORE weight! I told him, which is true, that I got into running and I really love it, which is also true. He said that's good (and he sounded like he really meant it). But I guess I should get used to it. I've never maintained anything smaller than a size 10, (I've squeeze into a size 8 and even 6 ONCE many many years ago) but really I've always hovered around a size 14...guess I better get used to the comments.
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Old 05-15-2011, 07:55 PM   #2
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Ugh, I know how you feel. Yesterday, a coworker asked me if I was losing weight in that shy way that people have when they're afraid of insulting you. When I gleefully told her that I was, she told me I look great. It bugs me, because I only look great in comparison to Me2009. I don't actually look great.

I think the thing is, relatives seem to associate weight loss with illness. This is why I am avoiding the Italian half of my family like the plague. The spicy, gooey cheesy, basil-scented plague.
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Old 05-15-2011, 07:56 PM   #3
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Sometimes I think people just have a hard time at giving a complement so they say something like "you're getting too thin" in hopes that you take it as a compliment. I don't think they really think you are absolutely too thin...it's meant more like, "Hey, you are doing a great job at losing weight".
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Old 05-15-2011, 08:02 PM   #4
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Lori Bell I never thought of it that way. Good point! Bananafana, i get htat actually with my husband. I know he's trying to be encouraging, but when I was at my highest, and I started trying to lose, like 2 days later he'd say how great I look. I know no one could see a weight loss on someone after 2 days. lol! But he was trying to help so I don't call him out on it...besides, now when he says it, after almost a year of losing and maintaining, I finally believe him!
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Old 05-15-2011, 08:06 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bananafana View Post
I think the thing is, relatives seem to associate weight loss with illness. This is why I am avoiding the Italian half of my family like the plague. The spicy, gooey cheesy, basil-scented plague.
Ugh, this is DH's side of the family. I constantly have to hear comments about how I'm starving myself, too obsessed about my weight, working out too much BLAH BLAH BLAH It's crazy because I still have a long ways before I get to a healthy BMI! Oh then I have to hear comments from FIL about how I eat too much (he's referring to veggies) and that I should just not eat hardly anything at all.
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Old 05-15-2011, 08:21 PM   #6
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This is very common and as you get thinner it will get worse. Consider it a compliment and move on.

I've been called anorexic and my wife has been called sickly. We're both at healthy weights but both looking to drop a few more lbs of fat. Niether of us are obsesive but we have learned to not mention that we're on a diet because people look at us like we're crazy.
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Old 05-15-2011, 09:15 PM   #7
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I think your dad meant it as a compliment, I really do. I bet deep down you were flattered and happy to hear it.
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Old 05-15-2011, 09:26 PM   #8
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I'm actually looking forward to the day when this starts happening to me. =) Haha...

It will probably get irritating after a while, but I'm pretty sure I'll like it when it first starts.
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Old 05-15-2011, 09:32 PM   #9
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My poor mother and father lost a lot of weight and got down to about 200-190 before everyone started saying, "You're too thin", "Stop losing weight", and the all time favorite, "You must be sick". One person even told my father, quite irate that he must have had surgery because you can't lose weight in that amount otherwise. WTH? My grandmother on my mom's side even said that she wanted to do an intervention if she got smaller. I told her I would absolutely not be a part of that negativity. My parents are very healthy and are now running half marathons and doing triathalons. In no way are they 'too skinny'. It aggravates me when people say that to them, and I hope people don't say these things to me as well.
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Old 05-15-2011, 09:53 PM   #10
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Ladies, I must say that this is one more reason I don't like to discuss my weight with anyone except a safe group of two other friends and then of course, the 3FC. My weightloss was and IS a very, very intensely personal journey and one that definitely more than just about the weight for me.
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Old 05-15-2011, 09:55 PM   #11
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LOL, I had a chinese lady ask me if I had cancer! I also had the surgery question--not straight out but definitely and directly implied on more than one occasion. I also had a mom ask me at the playgroud how much more weight I wanted to lose--I told her something to the effect of wanting to keep going for the health AND the hawtness factor! She turned her nose up at me and said, "ugghhh...no, now I don't want to be that?" Guess what? She's not!
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:36 PM   #12
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Isn't it funny (but not really) how people have this perfect idea of how you should look or weigh. If you are bigger than that, you are too fat, if you are smaller you're too thin.
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Old 05-16-2011, 03:24 AM   #13
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now im a just over a third of the way to goal, im starting to get, "well you dont want to loose too much" etc etc. Usually from really naturally skinny girls.......who also seem to have feeder tendencies!!!!

its like i have enough to deal with , with sorting out my head & will power, let alone deal with whatever is going on with you!!!!!
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Old 05-16-2011, 08:58 AM   #14
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My family which are short petite people are very conscious of size. I think they are just the opposite of your family. They notice when you've put on a few pounds and will not hesitate to mention it. They are well intended comments nothing malicious.

Most of my family is in a whole different state so I don't see them often but I know if I went hom with more pounds than normal I'll hear something or if I'm not I'll get you're maintaining you weight good or you're looking good.

To the OP, don't fret about you're family's suggestions. I think you know what you must do to be happy for you. I do that for myself.
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Old 05-16-2011, 09:56 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bananafana View Post
Ugh, I know how you feel. Yesterday, a coworker asked me if I was losing weight in that shy way that people have when they're afraid of insulting you. When I gleefully told her that I was, she told me I look great. It bugs me, because I only look great in comparison to Me2009. I don't actually look great.

I think the thing is, relatives seem to associate weight loss with illness. This is why I am avoiding the Italian half of my family like the plague. The spicy, gooey cheesy, basil-scented plague.

Hahah! That last part made me chuckle.

I know how you feel. I'm hearing it a lot now, too. My initial reaction was defensive, but I agree with others: take it as a compliment and carry on! I have no doubt you're going to hear it a lot more.
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