For those who have ALWAYS been "fluffy"

[Arctic Mama]

Our bodies always seek homeostasis - they resist change up OR down from our weight's set point. And resetting that point lower is difficult, but it definitely happens and can be worked toward. Just be patient, persistent, and healthy

[kaplods]

I've been fat since kindergarten. I'm sort of the opposite of op - I prefer the straight-forward term fat to euphemisms, especially cutesy ones (I absolutely HATE, HATE, HATE the term "fluffy" I don't especially like the words morbidly obese, but I far prefer them to fluffy. I think I'd prefer the term ****head to fluffy).

Now that I've gotten the anti-fluffy rant out of the way, I'm having a hard time breaking the 300 barrier, and it's not a physiological plateau. I know that I'm not losing because I keep falling off plan (jumping off plan would be more accurate).

I don't know why it's such a big deal. I think on some level, I suspect it isn't impossible. I mean I KNOW it's possible, but I also know that I haven't weighed less than 300 lbs (at least not permanently) in more than 20 years. By my senior year in college I weighed 305 lbs, and once I reached that weight, I've only gotten under it only once (on Nutrisystem, for a friend's wedding).

I think on some level, I'm mistaking "has never happened (on my own)" for "can never happen."

I had a similar plateau at the 70 lb mark (because I had never lost more than that). It took me a long time to break that pattern, but once I reached 71 lbs, the next 19 lbs were easier.

So I know that once I get past this barrier, it will be easier (at least until the next barrier).

For me, keeping it about "just the next pound" has been really helpful, because I almost never feel that I can't lose "just one more." So that's what I focus on, trying to make the next "one". Though it's awfully easy to get sloppy and then the "just one more" ends up being one I've already lost.

Stopping the yoyoing (even if my current yoyos are now in 2-5 lb increments instead of 50), is a challenge.

In the abstact, I don't have as much trouble believing that I eventually can weigh what I'd like to (or at least pretty close), so I'm not tempted to give up (and that's the biggest part of the battle I think), but in the specific, it's as much trial and error as it ever has been.

[LongTallBee]

Originally Posted by stacygee

I feel like I have always been "fluffy" compared to others- but it go out of control these past 10 years. as someone who started this journey in the 260's let me give you a little tough love: Perhaps you don't want to make the sacrifices that you have to make to lose the weight. It is about limiting your calories and being more active. It is about being consistent on a daily basis. It is hard. BUT- I am telling you this becasue I started at 264 and the difference in how I feel is incredible. I thought I always felt bad becasue I was getting older... but it is really because of my weight. I know that now. I can't remember feeling this good. It is SO WORTH THE EFFORT. Please try!

Thank you for this!! I started about where you started, and my goal weight is to be where you are now! That just gave me such a boost today.

I wasn't chubby/fat until junior high. But I wasn't the normal skinny kid either. I mean, I was 5'9" in 5th grade and weighed about 150. Which isn't bad. At the time, I was mortified because most of the people in my grade were still under 100 lbs. In junior high, I was very active (basketball and track) but still started to gain weight. And I didn't stop gaining until college, and it's been pretty much the same since.

I can't imagine myself thin. Like OP, I think I'm kind of afraid of being smaller. I have no idea what to expect, what my body shape will be like. But I want to be active! I want to be healthy!

[Sunshine87]

I have been overweight since puberty and I have never seen myself thin. I got down to 175 6 years ago but I never even hit that healthy weight range. I have struggled with this in the past and this site is really good to combat that negative thinking because there are so many people on here that have done it. Be inspired by others. You know that by feeling bad for yourself you are only going to hurt the cause (sorry a little tough love there). Maybe you could add something to your plan like rewards for every 5 lbs you lose. You are strong and beautiful and you can do it!

[sept15lija]

I have always been "fluffy"...aka morbidly obese. I don't remember ever not being at least overweight, and have been morbidly obese since high school.

I began to get serious about weight loss in 2006 when I weighed around 280 and I couldn't conceive due to my weight...I lost down to 195, and I thought that was absolutely incredible (and it was, at the time!!)...then fast forward a few years and two babies later and I was back in the 230's. For whatever reason, I was ready last June...and this time has clicked. I eat my set amount of calories, and am more active.

Another poster mentioned about not being "meant" to be overweight...I feel the same way! I always thought I was big-boned, not so much...I actually have a fairly small frame. I can't believe how awesome it is to be a normal weight...honestly every day is a marvel for me. I don't know when that will end (I recently decided to start maintenance). Picking out a size 4 off the rack and having it fit, is like winning the lottery. I can't imagine ever going back...regaining right now is a big fear for me. The journey is long, but life is going to go on anyways, and being a normal weight just makes things so much easier I find. You can do it!!!!

[shcirerf]

My mother has, as long as I can remember been, overweight at the least and mostly obese.

She has struggled with this her whole life. Her struggles are part of the reason I"m here.

She is non insulin dependent diabetic, she has high blood pressure, trouble with her eyes, 3 stints in her heart, had her gall bladder out, suffers from bouts of cellulitis, has bathroom issues, and on and on.

Don't get me wrong, I love her, but if she would have put in a half of an effort, she would not be where she is today.

I'm not saying we should all run marathons, or eat nothing but lettuce and beans. But, the reason I keep hanging on and watching my weight and food and exercising, is because I don't want to be 69 years old, and have all these health issues.

I'm not discounting those who have real health issues, that make it difficult. I do feel for those people. And I do understand their issues. I work for a veterinarian, so I do understand the medical side of things.

However, most of us have the potential to be better. We just need to suck it up and do it. Myself included!

[josey]

sept15lija, WOW what an achievement. 100lbs loss is incredible. I am glad to hear it is possible for somwebody who was overweight for a long time. That gives me so much hope. It is hard to believe there is a thin me inside. Thanks for posting!!!

[Nola Celeste]

I've gotta agree with Kaplods' anti-"fluffy" stance here and say I would seriously, honest-to-Pete rather think of myself as "fat-***" than "fluffy." But we all get to define our own terms, so more power to you if that's the one that works for you.

Since right around puberty, I've been anywhere from curvaceous to thick to stocky to fat. My lowest adult weight was 123 pounds and my all-time highest was 254 pounds; I started here at 232, so that's what's on my ticker.

You don't have to worry about losing your curves or being afraid to lose weight, because you always have the option of stopping. It's not like a roller coaster that, once you're strapped in, you cannot escape; you always have an opt-out clause. If you look at yourself in the mirror at 200 or 220 or whatever and you love the way you look and feel, you've found your goal weight. If you later decide to take it down to 180, you can do that too.

I think it's kind of normal not to have sustained drive. Motivation comes and goes. Habit, on the other hand, stays; make it work for you by building yourself a nice comfortable rut and staying in it. I could no more forget to weigh daily or to record my food than I could forget to brush my teeth now, and it helps keep me on my plan even when I have no motivation to be on it.

Plateaus suck. I've been on one for a couple of weeks or so now. I feel your pain.

[Regera Dowdy]

Originally Posted by Lovely

Been overweight since being in the 95% in kindergarten. Tallest in the room. Usually the heaviest, too.

It's been the same for me since kindergarten. Probably before that as well, but that's when I remember school nurses pointing at my weight on the charts, way to the right of the healthy range.

Originally Posted by stacygee

Perhaps you don't want to make the sacrifices that you have to make to lose the weight.

I think this is a problem for me. It feels like a sacrifice to lose out on all the convenience and cheapness of eating unhealthily and not exercising. Putting more effort into meals and feeling deprived of "tasty" things (even though I know I could make a tastier, healthier version) sometimes gets to me. I've been taking my weight loss slowly, which is good in a way since the changes are mostly sticking. I've never seriously tried to lose weight in all my life, and this is my first go at it. It's good that I don't have yo-yo dieting to unlearn, but it's hard for me to relearn a whole life of eating poorly. But this idea of sacrifice is irrational and silly. Why would it be a sacrifice to eat fruit that's in season instead of some overly sweet cardboard? Why would it be a sacrifice to lessen my chances of heart attack and stroke? Why would it be a sacrifice to like my body for once?

I can't even begin to imagine what my body will actually look like at a healthy size. I have a weird mental image of myself, a version that's thinner than I really am, but I doubt I'll ever look like that. I don't worry that I'm meant to be fat, but I worry that my resolve isn't strong enough. I haven't been successful at anything else, why would this be different? It's not something I think about often, but it crosses my mind from time to time. I intend to be successful at this. It may just start a trend in my life.

[JenMusic]

I'm in your boat. Until breaking into a normal weight range last November, I had been overweight/obese for my entire life. Fat, fluffy, whatever.

Weight loss has played with my mind, for sure, and it's messed with those closest to me, too. What I mean by that is, my sister has flat out told me that I look "weird" now. While my sister might need to choose her words more carefully , I know what she means - she's only ever known me fat. She lives in a different city, so only saw me sporadically on the journey and therefore never got a chance to get used to me thinner, so to her it seems really sudden and I don't look like the Jennifer she has known for 33 years.

I'm slowly getting used to my "new" self, though, and I'm very much trying to take it day by day. I read maintenance blogs (Refuse to Regain and Lynn's Weigh, for starters) and focus on here and now. One of the things that helps is that I moved toward the middle/end of my weight loss journey, so a lot of people I'm with right now at work and church and so forth don't know the "old" Jen at all, so I don't have to constantly be compared to what I used to look like.

I do firmly, absolutely believe that I can maintain a healthy weight for the rest of my life. So what if I spend the first 32 years of my life being fat? I spent years of adolescence in braces, dorky plastic-framed glasses, and badly matched clothes, and no one expects me to return to that!

[LeighM]

I too had been overweight for almost all of my adult life. My highest weight was about 2 1/2 years ago at 316. I had told myself that I was just meant to be fat. I wanted to be able to eat what I wanted. I was married and had two children and was happy. Then one day I really saw myself and hated what I saw. It just wasn't worth it anymore to eat whatever I wanted if the consequence was I'd have to look like this for the rest of my life. I was so uncomfortable. My knees hurt. I had a hard time shaving my legs. When I sat down my belly always got in the way. I decided I needed to change. I didn't want to be big anymore.

So one day at a time I changed what I ate. I counted calories and decided on 1500 a day to see where that would take me. After the first year I had lost about 100 lbs. Then last January I decided that diet alone wasn't going to get me where I wanted. I also wanted to be healthier and stronger. I joined a gym and started exercising. I found that I loved it. In the last 16 months I have lost an additional 50 lbs. I am now at a healthy BMI. I have never been this size in my adult life. I feel so good. I feel strong. I look like the real me that I never knew was inside. I just wanted to tell my story so you know that even though you can't invision yourself at a normal weight that person is inside you waiting to come out. It can be done one day at a time.

[SammyBee]

I have never really been super overly "fluffly." I've always been the chunky one though. Always had those rolls, the flab and feeling self conscious in anything I put on. I don't know what it feels like to not have my thighs rub against each other or how it feels to NOT need to suck your stomach in.

I have never worn a bathing suit and be comfortable in it. Ever. My goal and dream in my weight loss journey is to put a bikini on and say "Wow, you're hot!" Hopefully that will come in time.

Good luck to all the lovely ladies in your weight loss journey!! I'm right there with ya.

[oxymoronica]

I definitely see myself in a lot of these posts. I was off the charts in both height and weight from the moment I was born, and stayed that way through most of school. I guess it would be accurate to call me fluffy, fat, genuinely big-boned, gigantic, whatever else you can think of. I'm not particular because it's all accurate about me. I'm built like a redwood tree with a potbelly, and have been since childhood.

During high school, I changed from fluffy to just plain fat. In college that turned to holy **** fat. Now I am down somewhere between fluffy and fat again, I imagine, and this is the lowest weight I have been since (early) junior high. In fact, I can remember the exact moment in FOURTH GRADE when I realized I couldn't fit into my MOTHER'S clothes anymore because I was just too big.

If it were not for photoshop, I would have no freaking clue how I will look thinner. I used to have a photoshopped picture on my computer that I opened up when I lost my resolve and needed to remind myself how much BETTER things will be if I just keep trying to lose weight.

I can legitimately tell myself that I can't even imagine how much better it will be because I have literally never been there to know the difference. I have promised and re-promised myself many times over that this time, I will take it all the way down to a normal, healthy weight and know what it is like to buy normal-people clothes and do normal-people activities with the confidence of normal people.