[shimmmer178]

So I was out the other day running errands and saw a girl that I went to Highschool with. In the last two months i've lost almost 15 lbs and just recently noticed some (welcome and exciting) changes with my body. I'm not sure if because i'm more aware of MY body, if i'm noticing other people as well.

She was always pretty thin in highschool and I see her maybe once a month, but it came as a shock to me to see how much weight she gained in the last few months. I'm also noticing other people around me as either being bigger/smaller than me... I'm not sure this is healthy and I try to catch myself when i'm thinking like that.

I'm also more aware of my judgements in what others chose as food because i'm trying so hard to eat well. (My parents brought home Kentucky Fried Chicken the other day and it was tempting for all of 10 seconds until my sauteed chicken, rice and veggies were ready, but I still felt almost disgusted with even having it in the house)

Does anyone else feel like they are more judgemental of peoples appearances or food choices now that they are actively trying to lose weight or maintain healthy? What do you do to curb these thoughts?

I would never SAY anything to people about their weight or food choices, I just feel bad for thinking about this stuff.

[juliana77]

I wouldn't say I am more judgmental - definitely more AWARE for sure. I think it's only human to compare ourselves to others though. I guess instead of focusing on someone else's bad choice, I tend to focus on my good choice! Nothing wrong with a little pat on the back

[stacygee]

I look at a lot of the other women in the gym and have different thoughts. Here are some:

1. WOW- she's hot... I wonder if I could ever look like that?

2. OHHH- look at her. Shes as big as me when I first started. I hope she sticks with it. (nd then I wish I wasn't so shy and could encourage her).

3. How does she stay small... she is barely working on that elliptical.

4. HHmmmm is her butt as big as mine?

5. Is my butt that small yet?

[zoodoo613]

Originally Posted by stacygee

4. HHmmmm is her butt as big as mine?

Oh yeah! But mine's reversed, is my butt as big as hers? Is that what I look like?

I feel like when I was smaller, I had a pretty good sense of where I fell in the "ranking". Now I have no clue.

[DrivenByAmbition]

I guess I'm bad at noticing others... I really can't tell with people I see often. I can't even see the loss in myself after 30 lbs. But what counts is that I FEEL better since before I began this journey. =o)

[iaradajnos]

I do notice others' shapes. People I always thought of as thin have since become about my size or much bigger than I thought. I think it's because I'm learning my new proportions. Others haven't changed necessarily but I've dropped many sizes (I was about 210 at my heaviest a few times but usually was about 190). I know a few of my office mates have been gaining weight over the years. I worry about people in my life more now because they are so over weight--my dad, friends, etc. I think it's because my health is a big motivator to keep me at my weight loss and work at maintenance. I worry that being overweight makes me more at risk. That makes me focus on my friends and family a bit. Others that are trying to lose weight but without really making substantitive changes have my thoughts about effective or sustainabile weight loss.

Like those above, I try to be aware if I have judgemental aspects and think it through. I know when I start that train of thought it's not the other person's problem but my own worries and internal stuff.

[Chubbykins]

Originally Posted by zoodoo613

Oh yeah! But mine's reversed, is my butt as big as hers? Is that what I look like?

I feel like when I was smaller, I had a pretty good sense of where I fell in the "ranking". Now I have no clue.

Take some naked/underwear pictures of yourself and look at them. That helps for you to see what your body really looks like. Neither mirror nor looking down at ourselves gives us a good realistic idea.

[atreyyena]

I don't think I do that much with weight stuff, but I know I do it with food. Personally I have no problem assuming that someone of any size is either healthy or working on their health. It's when people order cheeseburgers, specifically request no vegetables, and ask for extra mayo on the side that my little 'voice' starts chiming in. I don't handle people well who just don't care about their health (as in the food they put into their body). But I generally don't say anything to them either.

[AZ Sunrises]

In my mind's eye, I'm still a size 14-ish. I feel no fatter now than I did then--I thought I was a rabid manatee at that size. I know I'm a BIG girl, but I don't see that when I look in the mirror. As a result, I see people much larger than me and assume that, because of my actual size, I have to be larger than them. I saw a pic of a 400 lb woman who carried her weight well...and until I read the poundage, I assumed I had to be larger than her even though I thought I was half her size.

Yeah...issues. I really can't tell when someone gains or loses weight.

[Linsy]

What other people eat doesn't bother me. When I was 280lbs eating a cheeseburger and fries I didn't want anyone to judge me so I don't judge them. I do notice the bodies of other people and compare myself. I have a bad perception of how I look right now though...sometimes I feel small and sometimes I still feel huge.

[dragonlady1978]

I think it's normal that we compare ourselves to others. It is our perceptions that get screwed up and can be emotionally unhealthy. If anything I see myself as bigger than I actually am. I tend to see people and think I am larger or the same size only to find out they are substantially heavier. Even when I got super skinny most of the time I still saw a fat chick when I looked in the mirror.

[luciddepths]

I definitely know how you feel! i think it all around me. Mostly with my mom, she complains that she isnt losing weight.. yet she eats a whole big bag of chips to herself...goes to Mcdonalds for blizzards... stuff like that, eats croutons with cheese on them? Anything out of a box she will eat.

I stare at her and think to myself "yes.. thats why you're fat". Its mean i know. Whatever.

I only seem to notice on strangers when i see an obese person pushing a cart that has ONLY junk in it. No veggies, no nothing, just boxed JUNK. High in sugar and fat...I also notice some people around me that are big and all they seem to eat is greasy pizza. Again i think to my self.. "yes, thats why you're fat".

About 30 lbs ago i would stare at people and wonder if i was their size. I dont anymore, not sure why. Just dont.

There isnt anything wrong with these thoughts, its normal.

No way to really curb the thoughts, you just have to move past it. Once you do, you will stop noticing and stop comparing yourself to others. The more you become comfortable with the results your seeing...

[Nola Celeste]

I think there's a difference between noticing and judging. Noticing doesn't seem particularly unhealthy. It's little different, really, from noticing other cars with the same make and model as yours. It's human nature to look for "you" in other people and things.

Judging, on the other hand, is something that's under our conscious control. We can't train ourselves not to compare without a good deal of effort, but we can easily train ourselves not to judge. I've been guilty of a few more judgmental thoughts now than I used to have when I was at my biggest, but I give myself a mental smack-down when I think that way. Just because I've found my "magic pill" in the form of calorie-counting, exercise, and slow weight loss doesn't mean it's everyone's magic pill or that everyone else who has extra weight is even looking for such a thing.

I don't know if the woman with a cart full of pizza bites and sacks of snack food is going to go home and indulge in orgiastic consumption alone or if she's buying for a party or if she plans to donate the stuff to her local church group. I don't know if someone is in a cart because she's fat or got fat because she's in a cart, so how would I presume to judge her?

With that said, you shouldn't feel bad for your thoughts--instead, try to understand why you think differently than you once might have thought. Some former smokers, for instance, become rabidly anti-smoking to the point that they treat smokers like sub-human crap; I'm convinced that it's self-loathing they're expressing. (And I'm a former smoker myself, although I don't treat anyone like sub-human crap. )

If you find yourself thinking, "Aaaaaand THAT is why you're fat!" a lot, maybe it's a thought you need to think to remind yourself to stay with your plan. Maybe your judgement helps you distance yourself from your former self. Maybe it helps you draw a thick dark line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior for yourself.

I try not to judge--and that includes not judging judgers. It's whether you ACT on that judgement and say cruel things to people out loud or give them dirty looks that matters. As long as you're not going around grabbing junk foods out of people's baskets or causing a ruckus at the family dinner table, I don't think you're doing anything wrong.

[niafabo]

I definitely pay a lot more attention to other's weight and compare myself more. Sometimes I'm judgemental about food but mostly I just go there is no way I'm eating that and carry on. Fried chicken really isn't that unhealthy actually and its relatively low in calories. I know plenty of people who have lost a lot of weight eating it regularly. I actually pay more attention to how much people are eating especially the calories. I'm in shock at how big portions are at restraunts now and I laugh to myself when I see someone "eating healthy" but actually consuming massive calories without thinking about it and then bragging about how they are doing so great. I know it's mean to think that way but I do. XD

[krampus]

I notice everyone, yes. I always have. I was much more judgmental of people when I was heavier/more insecure about my weight, but since I feel out of control of my eating sometimes now, I am starting to feel that way again. In Japan of course I always do the "am I the fattest person in the room?" check and sadly usually am. Living here is tough sometimes.