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Private or Public...why?

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Old 04-11-2011, 10:44 AM   #1
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Default Private or Public...why?

I know there have been posts about this before...

A friend of mine on facebook has been on weight watchers for about 6 months now. She's been morbidly obese her whole life. She's tried WW and Jenny Craig ect and in the past has lost weight, but also gained it back.

We've dieted together and I'm not trying to jugde, but I think the problem that keeps her from keeping it off is that 1. She does not work out. She doesn't like it. The one time she went for a walk, though, she posted it on facebook about "working out" She and I have a membership to the same gym and she tells me she hasn't been in months, and she'd like to start walking, but hasn't. She will occasional message me on facebook and tell me she "needs motivation" to workout so we should go together...then she won't go!!
2. She never developes healthy eating habits, but rather diet versions of cakes, cookies, and other not so healthy foods. (and I am guilty of this in all my "diets" in the past though)

So, she is on WW again and posting some weeks weightloss. I guess it seems weird because she is actually a very quiet, private person. Maybe if she were a more out going person it wouldn't surprise me. But she's also posting all the low fat cakes and cookies she's baking at home, and dishes like mac n cheese, all "low fat". (She includes pics too)

Irionically, I'm a very out going, up front person IRL, but I keep my weightloss very private. Only my husbands knows. Of course after almost a 50 lbs weightloss, people notice. And if they ask or comment, I'll acknowledge, but I don't put it out there.

In fact, I've gotten into running (at thet gym) about 5x a week, but I don't tell anyone I even go to the gym. I never put up on facebook that I'm going to the gym or went.

I know this might sound silly, but I feel like weightloss is a very personal victory and even getting into running. I'll tell you all on 3FC, but I feel like I don't need or want to tell anyone IRL, except if I am talking to someone that is into running AND the topic has already come up.

Do you keep your weightloss private or public?

2007- 230 lbs to 160 lbs after baby #1 Boy
2010- 220 lbs to 145 lbs after baby #2 Boy
2013 - 215 lbs to 157 lbs after baby #3 Boy
Baby #4 - It's a Girl! born 3-19-15

~Done having babies and losing for the last time~
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:48 AM   #2
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I make it public, though I don't update every time I go for a walk or exercise. Usually only if it's something big- like I walked an entire mile the other day. A mile really isn't that much, but for me, it was a huge feat. I don't think I posted about it though.

Sometimes I wish I didn't, because if I fail or slow, I feel like people will judge me more, but sometimes I just like to because it makes me feel more accountable. I don't even know how to explain it. ****, maybe after all these years of being ignored and looked down on, I just want some positive attention. Kind of shallow, but maybe that's part of the reason.

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Old 04-11-2011, 10:51 AM   #3
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I've noticed that the biggest introverts are the biggest posters on facebook.
Life of the party, extrovert people hardly post at all, even though they may lurk around.
I've occasionally made reference to big milestones (ie 10kgs lost) achieved on fb, but spare them all the details! I'm not even sure I want to continue doing that - do I really want them to know I was over 40 kgs overweight!
Phase 1: Onderland (90.8 kg)
Phase 2: 83 kg (not obese)
Phase 3: 69.5 kg (not overweight)
Phase 4: 60 kg (ideal)

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Old 04-11-2011, 10:54 AM   #4
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I'm private or I try to be. I guess part of it's that I've done this before and gained again, and I don't to be embarrassed if I fail, don't want people asking about it.. Another is that my mom talks about losing weight ALL THE TIME and it drives me nuts, so I don't want to do that. So I try to be private, but little things sneak out. I pay attention to food and nutrition and sometimes can't help but comment, not on other people's choices, just on food in general. I will talk about my exercise, but only if it's the fun what-did-you-do-this-weekend sort.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:59 AM   #5
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I may (strong emphasis on that may) post something on there when I reach my final goal and mention that I finally lost the baby weight. But I haven't decided yet. Most likely I'll probably just gradually start actually posting pictures of myself and letting myself be tagged in pictures again. I have had people make comments that I look skinnier but I don't respond.

I really don't post much there anymore. I used to post more but my life's so busy and I don't feel comfortable posting about my weight loss journey (which is one of the big things that's been on my mind lately so I come here instead!). My reasons for keeping my journey private is a.) I don't want people judging my food choices, b.) I have a hard time admitting how big I got and I don't really want to advertise that and c.) there's been a lot of emotional work that's gone into this and that's very private for me.

Starting Measurements (B/W/H): about 51/40/46, 240 lbs Goal Reached Pre-Pregnancy: 39/29.5/38, 156lbs Current: about 43/34/42
Started at 240
Onederland 199 (Jan 6, 2010, exactly 2 years after my previous due date!)
Overweight BMI 185 (Aug 3, 2011, one year after joining 3FC!)
Pre-pregnancy weight 175 (Oct 18, 2011)
Called Goal 156

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Old 04-11-2011, 11:04 AM   #6
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Public about being sugar free. Private about weight loss. Most people ask what I've done and I tell them I've stopped eating sugar. I never post on facebook about it, but I use my twitter account to show pics of yummy low sugar meals I make (my mom and friends like to see them- they've told me) and I send recipes to people who ask about it.

So, yes, my lifestyle is pretty public, but my weight loss journey is pretty much kept to the 3FC boards and discussions with my mom if she asks.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:08 AM   #7
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I tweet about it and I blog publicly.

I never mention it on FB since I have more "friends" there.
Grace Dishes

Weightloss Journey Started Oct 5, 2009

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Old 04-11-2011, 11:13 AM   #8
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I'm very public about it as I know it helps me realize "I have to do this". And the more eyes on me, the less likely I am to falter.

I'm also a person who feels that secrets and 'hiding' things are harmful. Every time I've been secretive about something, it's hurt me more than being open. So, I'm open about my lifestyle change too.

Restart 5/18/15 began at 263.9. All time high was 275 in 7/03. Low in Summer 2012 of 169.
A for the first 50 pounds lost, plus a for every additional 5 pounds lost on the weight loss reboot:

My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:21 AM   #9
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It sounds to me like your friend is trying to get some accountability. That method just doesn't work for me.

I tell people if it comes up. Like, my cousin mentioned that she was doing WW and I told her I was too. We'll send each other encouraging messages every so often. If it comes up in conversation, I'm pretty open.

But generally I'm pretty private. About everything. I don't post anything on facebook that I would be uncomfortable with the entire world knowing. I don't utilize privacy settings or anything like that, so pretty much an open book. An open book with very few details, and sure as heck not going to include my dieting endeavors as one of them.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:24 AM   #10
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I think for some people making it public.. helps to keep them more accountable. Everyone at work knows that me and my friend are dieting together, and it helps.. because Im concious of what im eating when Im around them, and I also know they are watching to see which one of us wins our contest. Now for some people this would stress them out.. and would work against them. But Im competitive in my nature.. and it keeps me going.

However.. I wouldn't use my facebook, as a dieting diary. But shes a different person.. and whatever works for her is good for her. And for you keeping it private has worked great for you! 50lbs is an amazing accomplishment! Sooo basically what im saying is everyone is different, and I think everyone just has to find what works for them.


"No-one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:25 AM   #11
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Yipes that's a question.
I have 3 of my best friends helping me so I don't really have a choice witht hem but to be totally upfront. Considering one is my trainer hard not to be.
Otherwise, I had an accident a while ago and lost 33lbs in 2 weeks. (not recommended) and to recover properly from that I have to lose weigh. most people I know, know this but I don't really talk about it.
3FC and my blog are my outlets
Always smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too.

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Old 04-11-2011, 11:47 AM   #12
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I am private about my dieting, but I do share my running success on Facebook. Not daily, but when I ran my first mile, first race, and farthest distance so far. Milestones I considered big. I didn't mention it at all in real life or on Facebook until I got through that first mile and was sure I would continue on though. Weight loss is personal to me and I will never share about that. Running is more of an open topic for me though.
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Old 04-11-2011, 12:02 PM   #13
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I'm public with the fact that I have food allergies and intolerances... mostly because our family has a LOT of friends who... when we go see them... want to cook us meals or take us out to eat... and it's important that they know those kinds of things.

As for my weight loss... I'm pretty private about it. It's not for the whole world to know. I can say something here or there "I would love to fit into this by _____... but yeah" and then go on with my life... but I don't journal my weight loss and tell the whole world about what I'm doing to exercise, what I'm eating, etc etc. Even online... on here... I'm not overtly open about it all. It's a personal thing... just something I'm doing. I don't need to let the whole world know.
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Old 04-11-2011, 12:04 PM   #14
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I was down about 70 lbs or so before I ever said anything to anyone outside my immediate family - and that's only because at that point people really started asking and commenting on it. I really don't like to be the center of that sort of attention - not sure why. I don't post many pictures of myself on Facebook (much more likely to post the kids' pics), but when I do, I generally get a ton of comments about my weight - complimentary ones, for sure, but it still makes me uncomfortable in a big way.
Countdown to NEW GOAL!

GOAL REACHED JUNE 15, 2011 !!!!
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Old 04-11-2011, 12:26 PM   #15
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I talk about my weight-loss efforts pretty openly if someone asks me about it but only with a few people on a consistent basis - my husband and my officemates. I talk with my officemates about it because when I started they were also talking about toning up, eating more healthy, visiting a nutritionist, etc.

I do find public accountability through my personal blog, though. I post once per week about my weight loss and once every ten weeks I link my blog on my Facebook profile concerning my milestones. I don't update my FB status that often though and pretty much never about weight loss stuff. I figure if people are interested enough in me to be reading my blog they are probably on board with reading about my weight loss project, and I've gotten a lot of good feedback through that, both on and offline. FB is too big of an audience for me, though - and the attention span is too short.

I lost 40 lbs between Nov 2010 and Nov 2011 doing low-sugar for my "50 Pounds in 50 Weeks" project. I bounced halfway back up so I'm back for more!

I blog about personal finance at Evolving PF
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