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Old 04-08-2011, 05:34 PM   #1
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Default why is it so hard to lose weight?

I am a long term lurker. I read and read and read..then I feel weak. Cant stop myself eating ice cream (my weakness). I have lost about 40lbs since last year, but i put 20lbs back. I have many reasons to lose weight, the main one being getting pregnant. I have been trying for almost 10yrs and doctors mentioned that they cant see any problem but the weight (after they have done numerous testing on my husband and I).

I am 5'7, 277 lbs. I dont eat much, but I eat the wrong food. Once an idea comes to my mind (foodwise), I wont rest till I have it. Then the guilt comes. Been yo yoing for over 20yrs now. I cant seem to stick to any plan for more than a week.
Dont know what to do.

Edit: Actually i know what to do i.e exercise and calorie counting, but how can I stick to any plan? How can I stop myself eating ice cream which is 1400 calories per tub and I finish that in one sitting.

Last edited by Sophiyya; 04-08-2011 at 05:45 PM. Reason: more info
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Old 04-08-2011, 06:06 PM   #2
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Stop buying it. Seriously after a few days of being miserable you'll be okay. I used to eat chips daily and now I probably eat it a few times a year. I no longer crave them like I used to.

Or buy the TINY $1 tubes that are just one serving, after those are done don't buy anymore but slowly wean yourself off.
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Old 04-08-2011, 06:12 PM   #3
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The general premise of losing weight "eat less than you burn" is simple enough, it's generally the emotional issues behind it that most struggle with (there are of course, people with medical conditions that are an exception).

If after 20 years of yo-yo and you still cannot say no to purchasing 1400 calories worth of ice cream and eating it in one sitting, I think it's safe to say that you might be trying to tackle everything but the real issue: an emotional attachment to food, a compulsion/obsession to posses that particular item, etc. I would suggest overeaters anonymous for help.

You can have all the perfect diet plans/trainers/personal chefs in the world but if you cannot emotionally cope with NO to food, then that's where you need to start.

Maintainer 2004-2009/3 Pregnancies/Maintainer 2013 - Present

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Old 04-08-2011, 06:26 PM   #4
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When you make losing weight the priority it needs to be and take the necessary steps to do it, it isn't hard. It sounds like right now food is a bigger priority in your life.

HW 356 pounds - CW 135 - GW 137

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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Old 04-08-2011, 06:54 PM   #5
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This is why I think it is so hard...

you have to worry about it and think about it every single day.
you have to plan ahead every snack and meal and every bite you put in your mouth.
you have to make time for exercise...

and then you plateau and you have to make adjustments...

it takes a long time to see results and it is hard to stick to before you see results.

the littlest mistake can mess you up...
or you stick to you plan and follow your program and you still don't lose weight...

but it is so worth it to battle through all these things.

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Old 04-08-2011, 07:01 PM   #6
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Losing weight is easy. Keeping it off is the hard part.
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:08 PM   #7
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I like the practical suggestions you guys mentioned. Thank you. I shouldnt buy the ice cream or at least should wean myself off it. I should make weight loss a priority, and perhaps deal with the emotional attachment to food and I need to plan ahead for meals and snacks. In the last couple of days, I found myself thinking, and asking questions as to why I *must* have it. Perhaps see if the craving passes. It does pass after few minutes. I need to ask myself why I need it to eat it and how it makes me feel afterwards. What additional benefits does it to my life if I have it.
Asking these questions myself are sort of helping me deal with my addiction. Before, my brain crashes down when it starts craving (cant think clearly) and my brain reboots after I satisfy my tastebuds. Never ending cycle. Must ask myself tough honest questions, if I need to get somewhere with the weightloss.
Inside Out Weight loss podcasts really helped. Someone posted it in the maintenance section, and she really makes you think of your choices and its consequences.
Started the journey again on 7th April 2011
Mini-goal: 250 (no longer morbidly obese AND less than 100 to go)

Restart again 3rd Jan 2012 at 308.6
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:29 PM   #8
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Losing weight IS easy. It really isn't rocket science. The big trick...the secret to losing weight is deciding that it is high time to take care of yourself. You just have to decide to do it. (I sound like RockinRobin right now! ) THEN you have to have perseverance. Stick-to-it-ness. Keep going day after day. Know you are worth it and deserve to be healthy. That's all it takes.
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:40 PM   #9
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What helped me start my whole diet/exercise routine is uploading a bunch of songs that just get me amped to work out and kick some butt! When I feel weak and I need some motivation I just pop on the headphones and listen. Also, try to find an alternative to ice cream that takes the edge off your craving- Ricedream is a good one (sort of like a soy ice cream), also yogurt. Obviously nothing will taste as good as real ice cream, but it's all about sort of dumbing down your taste buds so you will wean yourself off the bad stuff. I chew Extra Dessert Delights gum in mint choco chip, strawberry shortcake, and key lime pie. That helps me A LOT. Just find ways that get you motivated and then act on that! I hope you have success getting it started!
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:42 PM   #10
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I think I'm insulin resistant so losing weight for me ISN'T easy. I've been taking cinnamon and chromium supplements for about a month now and it's getting a little less hard. That said though...since starting the supplements I have absolutely no sugar/carb cravings. Maybe it's something you could look into if your cravings are that intense. I didn't realize my cravings were intense until they went away.

199...Finally under 200
180...No longer obese!!
150....Body will be baby ready
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:53 PM   #11
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I know I sound like a broken record lately, but it's not about the food. It's about the mental struggle. Yes, yes some foods and processed items have addictive qualities, but weight loss is much more than the physical and I didn't realize this until AFTER I lost the weight. I really discovered this from the Inside Out Weight Loss podcast series. I know how cheesy I sound but until you figure out why you eat, it's always going to be hard.
My Journey
268 lbs - Journey Begins (January 11, 2006)
197 lbs - 71 lbs lost (October 15, 2007)
247 lbs - 50 lbs gained pregnancy (August 22, 2008)
195 lbs - baby weight gone (July 7, 2009)
168 lbs - 100 lbs lost (March 26, 2010)
148 lbs - GOAL! 120 lbs lost (July 18, 2010)
138 lbs - 10 lbs under goal (December 29, 2010)
PR 1/2 Marathon - Time 1:59:50 (November 11, 2012)
PR Marathon - Time 4:40:53 (March 18, 2012)
Today 140s & training for my Health
"There is nothing you can't have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today."
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:30 PM   #12
1st Month of Dieting
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Some helpful tips that I've picked up are:
1)Grocery shop after a meal. Like after you eat lunch. Always shop on a full stomach so you're not tempted to by things you KNOW isn't going to be nice to your body.
2)Buy from the produce section first.
3)Before you even go to the store, make your list and stick strictly to the list. I like to look up "Heart Healthy Recipes" and write down what I need to make them before I go shopping.
Those are things that will help you feel in control of what you're eating and keeping temptations at bay. It works for us. We rarely have soda, chips, sweets, etc in our house. And our kids don't complain!
As for exercise; start slow if you need to. Start with a walk around the block. Even if you don't reach 30 minutes a day, just get your body movng in ANY way and build up.
Come up with a routine where you reward yourself for your achievements.
God bless!
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Old 04-08-2011, 09:01 PM   #13
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I think weight loss is so hard, because it's so un-natural. Staying thin and getting enough exercise isn't something wild animals have to work at.

In a natural world, when calories are overly abundant in the environment, overpopulation occurs long before widespread obesity.

The "natural" problem is getting enough calories to support the energy needed to obtain food and prevent becoming food.

It's really only been the last 50 to 100 years that the "average" American didn't have to work very hard for their calories (especially high-carb, sugary ones). In a lot of the world people still do have to work very hard for their calories (and the less they have to work, the fatter the average person gets).

The "obesity" epidemic isn't occuring because we're stupid and lazy, it's because we're creating an environment that requires so little movement and is so overly abundant in calories, that one day soon, the thin person may be a rarity. (Already statistics estimate that up to 2/3 of Americans are overweight and the numbers are still climbing).

Our calorie overload and sedentary lifestyle is even affecting people who aren't visibly fat. Diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure
are skyrocketing even in average and underweight people in this country - and is even being seen in childhood.

I'm not saying at all that the situation is hopeless or out of personal control. I'm just saying that living a healthy lifestyle is a battle with a very formidable enemy. Knowing the enemy is a tremendous advantage when fighting a war.

I may not be able to keep the enemies out of my life, but I don't have to bring them home with me, and for me sugar is the enemy. Hich carb, empty calorie foods are the enemy. Some foods aren't the enemy, but they're not that friendly either. Those foods I have to be very careful with. Other foods are allies. I can keep lots and lots of them in the house.

We always see advertisements for "quick and easy" weight loss. We see so many, that it's almost impossible not to suspect that it must be possible. How can so many people talk about something that doesn't exist.

It doesn't exist. Not for most people.

The biggest secret to successful weight loss and maintenance is just "not giving up," even when you think you must be doing it "all wrong." But that's not how we're taught to do weight loss. We're taught to do it the way that "everyone" does it which is ineffectively. Which is "giving up" when it gets frustrating. Giving up when the results aren't what we want. Giving up when we disappoint ourselves. Giving up when we're sick of making the same mistakes over and over again and it seems that we'll never be where we want to be so "what's the use anyway?"

I've "failed off" 88 lbs (actually 90 lbs, as of today, but I'm not changing my ticker until TOM/period is over, because this is usually the week I gain and I know that the minute I change my ticker to 304, the scale is going to make me a liar).

All my weight loss has been at a rate slower than all the times I quit before for losing two slow. In the past, I've quite diets because I was "only" losing 1-2 lbs per week. My average "this time" has been ranged between 0 - 2 lbs per months. It's taken me six years to get 90 lbs off. The first three years were spent just maintaining the first 20 lbs loss, and trying to figure out a way to get more weight off (before I found low-carb eating, which controls hunger like I would never in a million years have predicted until I experienced it).

Weight loss isn't rocket science - it's a whole lot harder, because we're fighting our own bodies and millions of years of evolution that says "eat as much as you can, because you don't know the next time food will be available" and "move because something's chasing you, and because you're chasing something down to eat it, or to "play" at both for the practice."

"Work" is natural, "Play" is natural (because it's usually practicing the skills needed for work), "exercise" or movement for no reason is not.

The challenge is in creating an artificial simulation of the "natural" world. In the "natural world" calories are scarce, so you've got to create an environment for yourself in which calories (especially empty calories) are scarce. You can do it by physically removing problem foods, or by deciding mentally that the foods are off-limits except under specific conditions (that could be calorie counting, or different phases of South Beach or Atkins).

I find that I have to physically remove the problem foods, because I haven't been able to do it very well mentally. We do have a shelf in the pantry of foods that I don't want to be eating, that hubby does want. I consider them 'his food" and they're out of reach, so that works for me (usually - unless it's chocolate during TOM then I'll get a step stool, so hubby knows to either hide the chocolate where I can't find it, or not to keep large amounts of chocolate in the house).

There are a billion tools you can use to make weight loss easier, and more automatic, but you'll never find it "easy" in the way that breathing is easy. It will always have to be something you pay attention to (but you have to pay attention to brushing your teeth and combing your hair every day too. It doesn't have to be at the forefront of your mind every single second - at least not eventually).

Support is one of the best tools. Having like-minded people to talk to, having people teaching and learning from each other, and just sharing experiences. The worst social aspect to obesity is the social isolation. We're taught to withdraw from the world, and to behave as if we're ashamed for even existing. That doesn't help. It only makes it harder to make the healthy changes that are needed.

Weight loss is hard, not only because it's naturally hard (which it is), but also because we make it harder than it has to be by cultural beliefs that cripple us further than the fat already does. For example, swimming is one of the best exercises for overweight and obese people. It's easy on the joints, it's more comfortable and safer, and it's even fun. But it's also quite taboo to be seen in a bathing suit in less than perfect physical condition. Only perfect people should be seen in a bathing suit (or hundreds of magazines articles wouldn't be published every year about hiding figure flaws. When you weigh 394 lbs not even the head-to-toe burka can hide your figure flaws.

I'm starting to rant and ramble. So I'll just say try to keep it as simple on yourself as you can. Experimenting will help you find your own tools and tricks to do so, but it really all boils down to learning not to give up. There are so many reasons to give up, so it's always tempting, but if you can just "not give up" and keep moving forward (even if it's inch by inch) you will eventually get where you want to be. And if you keep "not giving up" you can stay there. And the best way to "not give up" is to find people who are making the same journey with you. It helps you realize that you're not failing when you find it hard. You're only failing when you stop trying.
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Last edited by kaplods; 04-08-2011 at 09:03 PM.
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Old 04-08-2011, 09:18 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
Losing weight IS easy. It really isn't rocket science. The big trick...the secret to losing weight is deciding that it is high time to take care of yourself. You just have to decide to do it. (I sound like RockinRobin right now! ) THEN you have to have perseverance. Stick-to-it-ness. Keep going day after day. Know you are worth it and deserve to be healthy. That's all it takes.
I'm glad you said this because I immediately thought of her when I first read this post. This post needs her tough love.

You do have to decide to do it and want it bad enough to get through the rough patches. I have found that if I can get just three days of "clean eating" under my belt things get easier.

There are many ways to go about it. Some people cut things out cold turkey which really helps with cravings. I did this with pop and have never looked back. I won't say it was easy it first, but it's not a problem now at all. Others make small changes along the way. One week you focus on decreasing calories by 100, another week you focus on adding new vegetables, or switching a complex carb for a loved processed carb. Baby steps work great for some people.

I love mini goals also. Set small goals that are easily attainable and then celebrate them when you reach them.
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)

My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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Old 04-08-2011, 09:52 PM   #15
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The mental struggle is the key. You did not get to the size you are if you had a healthy relationship with food. you need to get to the root of that and work with someone to explore other ways of coping. One emotional eater to (I suspect) another....I have been through 3.5 years of therapy. I have been out for 2 years and am thinking I need to go back, because I still don't have my issue with food beat. check out my blog tiedtobefit.blogspot.com
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