I've been tracking calories for 3.5 weeks now, and am down almost 9 lbs., but I hadn't been able to talk myself into starting an exercise program yet. There are some reasons for it, or excuses I guess I should call them. The biggest is a mental block. I have either 4 or 5 times before in my life, set out on a lifestyle change to lose weight. Each time I got very excited, started eating well and exercising, and each time lost about 30 lbs. The motivation to do it was just there, it was easy. Each time, after about 3 months, (except the first time, when I kept it up longer) the motivation left, and I slowly but surely started to gain again.
I want this time to be different. I want this to keep going. So I'm trying to do it more slowly, and frankly that's not going so well. Not that I'm starving myself, not at all, but I am, when it comes down to it, eating enough to lose 2 lbs per week, instead of the 1 I planned. (I know, like that's
something I should complain about.
But here's where the exercise phobia comes in. It's going to take some major adjustments to start exercising regularly. I know my life is no harder than anyone else's and probably a good bit easier than many, but I often feeled overwhelmed as it is. Work, childcare, grocery shopping, feeding my family, taking care of the house, the laundry, the pets. It all adds up. Now in my life in general, and especially in these last 3 weeks, I've welcomed opportunities to add movement to my day: a walk with a friend at lunchtime, walking to the store or to a friend's, a bike ride with my kid. Those are all great! But to find a block of time daily or nearly daily that I can dedicate to an exercise regimen seems like it might be a bigger stressor than I can really handle, and I guess I'm afraid that if I try to do that, this whole fragile house of cards might come crumbling down after those 3 months of excitement are up, as they have everytime in the past.
. I hung out with a friend last night that I hadn't seen in a while. She's young and active and a good influence (in certain ways anyway). For a while when we both weren't working we did yoga 3 times a week. We hike, canoe and cross country ski together. We live near the Adirondacks in upstate NY and last year we talked about doing some High Peaks (46 peaks in NY are over 4000 feet.) She reminded me about it last night , and I want to do it, and I need to be in shape to pull it off. So there's some motiviation to exercise. This morning I went down in the basement and did 30 minutes on the exercise bike, which quite frankly, I don't love. But it's what I had available in the time slot I had available.
Can I keep these ideas separate? Can I simultaneously train for some serious hiking and eat for a healthier me without it turning into a big overwhelming ball again?
So there's my ramble. Somehow this turned into a very different post than the one I intended to write.