in a funk... and not the james brown kind of funk...
I find this website so helpful. I had no idea that I would like it as much as I do... But, I truly appreciate the support, validation, and focus that I have found by coming here every so often.
I'm not sure what this post is about, but I am feeling down and frustrated. And, I am feeling sick of feeling down and frustrated. I don't understand why weight loss has to be cyclical. I have been feeling really good over the last several months, and I have been patient with myself. I have not lost weight as fast as I would like, and I have managed the plateaus.
But, I have been in a funk over the past few days, and I can feel my motivation slipping away. It's like I have two things going on at once... One part of me is losing motivation, making bad food choices, not taking care of myself in other ways (like not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water, etc). And then there is a part of my that is observing this happen, almost like from the outside looking in. And that part of me is screaming, trying to snap me out of it, fighting to help me stay in control. But, it's like the me that's losing motivation can't hear the me that's try to stay on track. And, I am so nervous that part will win the battle.
Over my last 4 weekly weigh-ins, I have only lost 1 pound. I can't talk myself into being excited about that one pound, or see the silver lining in that I am not gaining. I feel worse about my body right now than I have in as long as I can remember.
Why is this happening? I didn't do anything "wrong". I haven't binged. I haven't stopped working out. Nothing has changed, except that I am not losing weight and I'm feeling like crap.
And because I'm feeling like crap, I'm doing things that aren't good for my weight loss... I'm using my WW points for things like candy and wine. Then, I am not eating healthy foods, because I'm clinging with white knuckles to the plan. Then, I feel physically gross and guilty. Then, I ended up doing the same thing all over again...
I think all the time about inertia. Like what you learn in science in school -- an object in motion will stay in motion. An object at rest will stay at rest. I don't get why my motivation doesn't work that way. Why can't I just stay hopeful and motivated?
I have faith that I will start to feel motivated again... that the pendulum will swing back in a good direction. But, right now, all I feel like doing is crying. And eating.
So, I don't know if there is anything that I am asking of you all... I don't know what there is to say to make me feel better. But, I just wanted to get it out...
I hope you are all having an easier day than I am...
you said you've been feeling this way for the past few days. i hate to ask but is your period coming up? i can get very down right before my time of the month and feel all bloated and unmotivated but once i realize that's why i feel that way it's easier to cope with since i know the feelings will only be temporary.
is something in your personal life giving you problems? have you been getting out of the house and talking to people enough? are you lonely? i get very depressed if i don't go out and do something every once in awhile.
just try and cheer up. if you need to, stop think about points and all that stuff and just eat moderate portions of healthy food for a few days and see if that makes you feel better. oh and if you can look up the actual calories of the food you've been eating since you've been admittedly abusing the WW points system you may be eating too many or not enough calories.
I saw your post and it reminded me of me. I think sometimes, for me at least, that attitude is related to hormones. If you catch my drift. Also, looking in the gym mirror at my reflection next to someone who is fit will do it, too. I had that experience today, and yesterday, and the day before. I tell myself that if I do nothing, nothing will change. Perhaps that is another version of your inertia theory. And so I plug on, and I realize that although the scale is stuck for me, I make other progress. I feel firmer. I also lost some inches, although in weird places, but hey I will take it. I just have to remember that I don't want to feel this way forever. And so I vow not to. And I think about how much my diet has improved, and I look at the processed garbage my coworkers and friends are eating, and I remember that a few days ago at a gathering I had some junk that was good for a nanosecond, and later regretted eating it. If you are stuck in your routine, change it. Instead of walking, try biking, sprinting,interval training,yoga,etc... I rotate workouts all the time so I don't get bored. It also helps to change your metabolism, because your body is very efficient at adapting to energy and food levels. Also, I think about how many gym successes I have had. If I increase the weight on the machine or dumbbell, if I run or stretch further than last time,etc. That is success. Because before I started back a few weeks ago, I was fatter and less healthy. If I did nothing, so it would have remained. But you have to keep trying. Or you will always be having these conversations with yourself, and hating your body. Also, you know people here are feeling the same sometimes, too. So come and vent, and don't give up. You will succeed. Sorry for the long post.I am usually a lurker, so I guess I have a lot of words stuck inside!
I just finished up with my period, which probably explains some of the gross feelings (and the stalled weight loss, at least for this week)...
Thanks for your responses! I am just so frustrated with myself, and frustrated with the frustration... and on and on...
I've also been super, super busy and stressed at work. That makes everything a bit harder, because I don't have as much energy to focus on my weight loss... And, it's hard to stay positive when I am super stressed...
I'm also single right now, and I'm trying to meet men through a dating website. And, sometimes that makes me feel good about myself... But, when it feels like it's not going that well, I usually blame my weight. Like if I were thinner more/better men would be interested in meeting me. I have been out with a few people recently, and the chemistry was great online. But, then, after the first in person meeting, their interest seems to have faded. It makes me feel really bad...
I'm also single right now, and I'm trying to meet men through a dating website. And, sometimes that makes me feel good about myself... But, when it feels like it's not going that well, I usually blame my weight. Like if I were thinner more/better men would be interested in meeting me. I have been out with a few people recently, and the chemistry was great online. But, then, after the first in person meeting, their interest seems to have faded. It makes me feel really bad...
So, maybe that has an impact??
This is why i've given up dating temporarily while i work on my weight loss. i want to be focused on this and i don't need people to be affecting my self-esteem or making me emotional during this process. But...i realize i have to get back to normal life at some point. Just not right now.
I think you are just stressed and lonely. It will get better. Stress for me is the worst, because it does not seem to go away. I cannot complain about meeting people, because I am married to the most wonderful man. So what I have to say goes like this-the online chemistry that faded in real life was not real. Or, as my mother would have told me," the man of your dreams will love you no matter how fat you are or what color sweatpants you have on." And she was right, because when I was thinnner, I dated some real dirtbags, and it didn't matter that I was thin, because they were still unchangeable dirtbags. You, however, are not, and you will meet the right man at the right time. Focus on what makes you happy, and not how you "need" to look to satisfy some dude's fantasy. If they only want a "good looking" woman, they are sifting through the shallow layers, and that's not what you need. Living up to someone else's idea of perfection is exhausting and unnecessary. You want someone who loves all of you, and that is possible, because I have it, and I have had it for about 11yrs now. Besides, what makes that guy so entitled, anyway? After all, he is looking on the same website you are, right? Maybe he's no gem either. Just be safe with all the internet stuff, it can get dangerous or turn deadly. Feel better.
And, sometimes that makes me feel good about myself... But, when it feels like it's not going that well, I usually blame my weight. Like if I were thinner more/better men would be interested in meeting me.
that definitely sounds like that's the problem. you are letting your fears get the best of you and hurt your self esteem. maybe dating is not a good idea. perhaps you just need to focus on you for a bit. take yourself out. make yourself feel good. if you don't love you other people are going to have a hard time loving you. try and go out with your friends every now and then or take yourself out and do something you enjoy. realize that weight doesn't define you and that men who only take someones weight into account are not the type you would want to be dating anyways.
Thanks so much for your support... After reading your responses, I decided to take a step back from everything -- just for a few days. I stopped counting points, and instead focused on eating foods, with a focus on moderation, that tasted good and were good for my body. I also tried to stay away from the dating thing for a few days. I even stayed off this site -- even though I love it. I just needed to not think about dieting and my weight for a little while.
I guess I just need to reboot. I was shutting down anyway... I rested for a bit. Now, I am ready to get going and refocus.
ALSO, I went out and bought some new clothes. I hadn't done that in a while, so most of my clothes didn't fit quite right. I decided to buy a few things that fit well and complimented my shape -- as it is right now.
After all of that, I am feeling MUCH better. Plus, today is my weigh in day, and I lost a pound! I know that is not much weight to lose, and I know that it's not supposed to really be about "the weight". But, it does feel like a relief. I was mentally prepared to have a gain, after my "break", but it is strangely validating that taking care of my mental health didn't hurt my long term goals.
So, thanks so much for your support! I'm feeling so much better, and I really appreciate your listening and offering your perspectives.
in a funk... and not the james brown kind of funk...
