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Old 03-29-2011, 11:30 AM   #1
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Default New here and Desperately Need Support!

I have just joined hoping to find support!

I had lost 80 pounds in 2009 and then met my now fiance. He's terrific but since I met him I've gained 90 pounds! He loves me as I am but needless to say I am NOT happy with my body, weight, or clothing size. I do not want to go down the road of plus size wedding dresses. I want more self confidence and really I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs without gasping for air!

I am a senior in a 4 year University and am going to start my Masters in January 2012...I'm planning to be a high school/middle school teacher. We are planning the wedding for after I finish my masters and before I start teaching....so I have some time in which to lose my target 170 but need to get started!

Obviously my fiance isn't much help with my diet as he continues to eat whatever he wants and I have no close friends I can bug when a craving starts as I did back in 2009.

Hoping I can find positive reinforcement here and take this journey with others who understand how difficult this struggle is!

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Old 03-29-2011, 11:42 AM   #2
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Hi SippyMarie!

I can understand, while my husband has cut out most simple sugars, it's not bcause of my change it diet, it's bcause he was diagnosed with Diabetes in December. He still isn't doing wonderfully, eats lots of carbs, large servings, and less than ideal foods. Not to mention I have 2 girls, who, while they don't get a ton of treats, I have always given them 1 treat in their lunches.

It's tough at first, but if you find a plan that suits you (for me it's counting calories), and stick with it, it can be easier than you imagine. As a calorie counter, I have a little freedom to work in 'treats' or whatever. For me, I work in 1 package of Thinsations Oreos daily, and I find that keeps me from binging. That's not the case for everyone though, some people need to have an "all or nothing" lifestyle. It's a struggle at first to find what works for you.

Do you have a "plan" in mind? Such as Atkins, South Beach, Calorie Counting, or things like that?

PS: Welcome the board!!
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Old 03-29-2011, 11:43 AM   #3
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I think you should make it clear to your fiance that while you appreciate he loves you no matter what YOU don't love yourself this way and don't want to just learn to accept it but change your life around.

Is he overweight? It'll be hard to be married to someone who isn't healthy- trust me I know! I'm not saying dump him but "loving you the way you are" won't fly when you aren't able to get pregnant cuz of your weight or have a very complicated filled pregnancy, or when you wind up in your 30s with tons of health problems, etc.

If he's overweight maybe you both could work towards living healthier lifestyles together- after all- you both want to grow old together and have children right? Well that's easier done with healthy bodies

I wouldn't try to change him but change yourself and hopefully he'll be encouraged to follow in your footsteps

One thing I did to stay away from temptation was to walk away when I saw it. My hubby also had to change his lifestyle around because of his health and now he eats much better- not as good as myself, but much better. I snapped at him one day when he kept asking "aren't you going to have some with me?" And I was like what part about eating healthier don't you understand? No I won't eat these things and neither should you. He hasn't asked since then lol.

Good luck!
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Old 03-29-2011, 12:15 PM   #4
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Thanks for the replies...I am doing calorie counting since that is what worked for me before.

He is overweight as well and has talked about making changes himself but so far he hasn't made any effort to eat healthier with me. However, he has said he would exercise with me-walking together and stuff but we haven't gone together yet.

I am worried about having children so you hit a nerve there! We already know we have fertility problems aside from weight...he has been told by 2 doctors that he is sterile for some unknown reason. I am praying that fertility experts in a few years will be able to figure something out...if not maybe donor sperm or adoption.
I love him very much and he treats me like a princess.

As he tells me...as long as we want to be with each other we can work through anything together. I really need him to balance my obsessive personality lol as he's more laid back.

I am trying to do this in a health way (before I didn't really eating only 1000 cals a day...not healthy weight loss) but this time I am starting around 1600 and can cut back as needed. I feel really good about this and have been going about a week now and doing great!

And Beerab....I will keep that last part in mind! Lol he is always trying to get me to just take a bite of whatever he is having...like "one bite won't hurt" Yes it will!
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Old 03-29-2011, 12:19 PM   #5
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Welcome!! Good for you for knowing what works for your body as far as calorie counting ~ I started counting calories in January and I like being able to track what I am eating.

Good luck to you on your journey ~ you mentioned that you don't have any close friends to bug when you have a craving...come here instead!! I can't count the number of times I have been craving something or am thinking about binging, and I'll come to the board, read through a bunch of threads, or even post something about how badly I am craving something or how crappy my day is...everyone is super supportive and we're all here together on this journey!
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Old 03-29-2011, 01:17 PM   #6
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Yes definitely come here for support! It really does help and blogging helps too! I blog at www.thistimeits4real.com- I find it helps and keeps me busy
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Old 03-29-2011, 01:57 PM   #7
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Welcome!!

You are right, one bite will hurt! It's all those little bites that add up. I always keep in mind that absolutely everything counts.

I'm sorry to hear about your potential fertility problems, but you're right there's a lot of things they can do these days - I hope when you guys are ready you are able to find a way to parenthood!

Sounds like you have a great plan, I would think with school and getting married that you're pretty busy, so planning ahead will probably be key. There's lots of good meal ideas in the calorie counting area of the forum.

I think you're really smart for getting this under control now, I wish I had...I walked down the aisle in a size 26 wedding dress and while I had an amazing day a small part of me wishes that I had been a slim bride. Which is why I am now planning a destination wedding to renew our vows at some point in the next few years!!
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Journey Started: June 22, 2010 (233 lbs)
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Weekly Accountability Weigh-in: 142.6 lbs, January 14 2013 Working on getting back to maintenance (135-138)



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Old 03-29-2011, 02:21 PM   #8
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Welcome!

I am starting back to a better lifestyle now as well and what better ppl to help us than these ppl here. Last yr when I lost so much I was on here several times a week just reading and posting, it wasn't until I stopped coming here that I started to slide back into the bad habits I had before.

Use this site as your motivation and a valuable tool, it does work!
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