Oh I'm sorry that you are going through this!
I have been cheated on as well. Didn't find out until my marriage was breaking up that not only had he been cheating recently (and possibly with my brother's girlfriend) but also while I was pregnant with HIS daughter! I was heartbroken.
My last boyfriend was also abusive.
I'm just racking 'em up here aren't I?
It makes you questions your judgment. It makes you question your self worth. I makes you question your beauty, kindness, intelligence, everything. And these questions are most certainly uncomfortable. So we eat.
To fill the void. To ignore the pain. To cure the blues. Because in fact- food does have a chemical effect in the body. It is fact- it does make us feel better.
I, myself, have issues with emotions. I'd rather not feel hurt, or sadness. So I avoid sad movies at all costs. I don't read sad books. Not even if they come out with a happy ending. I can cry at the hint of a Kay Jewelers commercial. And if I find something hysterically funny, the next emotion out of me is horrible sadness complete with sobbing.... It's like laughter is one tick shy of crying and the emotional flood gates have opened. It's not normal, but I'm working on it!
But I want you to remember- emotions pass. That sadness will not be there forever. Nor will the pain or the bitterness. And soon you'll look back and think about him and exclaim rather loudly "THAT JERK!" It's ok to feel a full range of emotions. Happiness, and sadness. Everything passes. Just sit with it, and it will pass. Bottle it, and you'll end up like me
Do something that makes you feel good (that is not food related). Because.. you are totally worth it.
LR