Need some... motivation, or direction, or *something* UPDATED post 12
I've been plugging away at this since July or so of 2010. So, I'm 8 or so months in. Eating on plan, eating off plan (but planning to) only on TG and Christmas, and working my days' calories around special events like birthdays. However, I've really been struggling since Christmas. I've been letting an extra 100 calories creep in here and there, and my weight loss has slowed.
This last week has been a HUGE struggle for me and I've been losing the battle. I've been consciously making the choice to eat poorly, eating when I'm aware I'm not hungry but I want to shove more food in my face, basically indulging in the patterns that got me to 267 pounds in the first place.
I need to stop. I need to figure out why I'm doing this, and I need to recommit myself to eating healthy and working out. I will NOT let 8 months of hard work and 67 lost pounds go to waste. But I can't figure out how to turn my mind set around to caring again. I feel like crap for eating the way I have been, but then I start thinking about eating and I don't care that it will make me feel like crap... until I'm done eating it.
Help, please. A kick in the pants, a gentle nudge... I need something, because I can't find it within in myself right now.
Well, if it's any consolation to you at all, I do know how you feel. As a matter of fact, just before I logged on, I was thinking on why I am in such a funk this week. I was even complaining to my husband about it just now. I had a big munchy day just a couple weeks ago, then today I ate probably 3 servings of chips and a nutty bar. Where is this coming from? I'm so secure in my plan, I know I'm not hungry when I do it, but certain days lately I just say the h3LL with it and eat -- just like you, not even giving a care till it's over.
I hurt my hip being overzealous with the exercise, and I need this hip for work so as of now, I am grounded off the stepper. I'm struggling to figure out what to do about that, because it's still too crappy to start seriously walking, and I need to let my hip heal anyway. I want to do water aerobics, but it's just not in the budget right now to go back to the gym. I think the biggest factor in my funk is that this has been a long, hard winter, we had a taste of spring last week, and now we're back to winter. Hubbs reminded me that in a couple months from now, it will still be light out at 7:30pm, and those long days always lift me up.
Lets just get through these next few weeks and see if spring doesn't make a big difference! And even though I was no help, thanks for letting me vent -- I think I needed it!
START: May 25, 2010
FIRST GOAL... 299lbs - ACHEIVED 9/28/10
SECOND GOAL...250lbs - ACHEIVED 4/13/11 THIRD GOAL:
When I start losing focus I spend time googling new recipes or healthy eating ideas so I find new things to inspire me.
I live way up north where we've had a colder and greyer winter than the last couple decades. I can't really get out for the long walks I enjoy and really notice a general feeling of "why bother" - and not just about healthy eating. I think the time before Spring finally starts up is always a hard one. Mostly I just sort of feel like I'm grimly hanging on but I trust that in a month the longer and even slightly warmer days will make a HUGE difference.
"Vision without action is a daydream ~ Action without vision is a nightmare"
I will NOT let 8 months of hard work and 67 lost pounds go to waste. But I can't figure out how to turn my mind set around to caring again.
Wow! 67 pounds is AWESOME! Do you realize that is the size of a 10 year old child? That is what you have worked so hard for these past 8 months. All I can say to that is WOW! You are definitely an inspiration to me. But now it's time to become one to yourself. I know you are in a funk but you have come just too far to not go all the way hun.
I wish there was a clear cut answer as to why we sabatoge weight loss at a certain stage. What are your fears? Afraid of failing after succeeding? Are you getting attention from people and it's making you uncomfortable? These are all rhetorical questions, of course. Because if you knew the answer, you'd be able to fix it somehow.
All I can tell you is to focus on the positive and remember how wonderful you are beginning to feel. Spring and Summer is coming up soon and you are going to look so great in those new adorable outfits! I know it's easier said than done and as Shannon said above.....maybe it's just a winter blues thing? I know I went through it too.
There is no one here on this message board that doesn't understand how you feel. And most of us have gone through a sabatoge stage.
I go through this alot, which is part of the reason it's taken me six years to get off 88 lbs. For me, it's the actual food. Carbs-rich foods have a drug-like effect on me. They're addictive, even though I feel like crap on them. It's only after a few days "clean" that I can see the benefits clearly enough to stay off of them (at least until the next slip).
Joining TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) has helped me recommit. The group support and the weekly weigh-in (the deadline) helps me stay focused. The little competitions our chapter runs helps too, one we run every month called "the apple tree contest." If you gain or miss a meeting, your apple "falls from the tree." The last people with apples still on the tree at the last meeting of the month, split $10 (often there's only 1 or 2 winners).
I don't know how I'm going to accomplish it (because I gain 10 lbs every month just from water retention with my period each month), but I really want to win that. I came close this month (I only gained 1 lb instead of my usual 10 with TOM - though I drank as much water and ate as many watery fruits and vegetables as I could possibly stand.
I also use a sticker chart for each pound lost, and celebrate with a small reward. My next 5 lb reward is a crochet slipper pattern book on my amazon.com wishlist.
My next big reward, when I get to 100 lbs lost, is an ereader or tablet pc (I had originally decided on an ipad, but one of hubby's techie friends told us that by fall, there should be a lot of good, cheaper tablet pcs. So I might pick something else for my 100 lb celebration.
People have told me that weight loss should be it's own reward. I get the point, but I disagree. Weight loss is more valuable to me than a crochet pattern or an ipad, but losing weight is slow and boring, and it's hard to see or feel the progress, because every day I wake up feeling pretty much the same as I did the day before. Unless I look in the mirror while looking at an old, fatter photo I don't "see" the difference.
I know there's a lot of difference. When I started I couldn't even take an unassisted shower, but the change has been so gradual that I don't feel the dramatic improvements, even though I consciously know they happened. The little celebrations of each 5 lbs, remind me that the change is there.
A food and symptom journal did help me a lot. I learned through it that my joint and skin issues (assumed to be immunity related - both autoimmune illness and an over-responsive immune reaction), are directly tied to wheat and to a lesser degree carbs and sugar (I get a severe reaction with a couple servings of wheat-based food, and I get a moderate reaction if I eat several days high-carb eating or one day of uber-high carbs).
Even going on a fruit-bender can cause a breakout. When I'm eating right my skin is clearer than it was in high school and I have more energy and less pain.
But in the middle of a carb-bender, even knowing that the food is causing the yucky, sick feeling (and ugly face), it's really hard to give it up, because of the addictive nature of too-carby foods. I think "Just one more and then I'll stop." Of course, after that "one more" my thought tends to be "just one more and then I'll stop."
For years I tried to figure out "why" I couldn't stop (assuming some psychological problem), but I've finally figured out that there is no why besides "carbs are hard to resist." In fact, even the emotional eating - and the emotions themselves settle down when I'm eating right. I wasn't some basketcase using food to medicate stress/emotional issues - the foods (high-carb junk) was causing the stress/emotional issues.
I'm more in control of my emotions when I'm not eating the junk. But when I'm eating the junk, it's really hard to stop the downward spiral.
None of this may apply to you, but hopefully something will be useful to you.
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)
Motivation comes and goes, but 67 pounds is a huge achivement! I think even the most steel-willed of folks get a bit "tired" after X months of dieting-type behaviors, no matter how strict or lenient their rules are.
I went through a similar "who cares?!" period over the last few weeks. I eventually got fed up with myself and went back into loss mode and felt once again the thrill and excitement of making healthy choices and losing weight...and then after a particularly good week and a 3 pound whoosh, I blew twice my target calories on a stupid binge for no good reason. Just one "bad" incident and I am already feeling the apathy creep back.
Hopefully springtime and the annual "spring clean/get in shape" whirlwind that occurs in the media will push us to better success. In the meantime, remind yourself of how far you've come - and how much it would STINK to have to do it all over again.
Thank you, ladies. It was SO helpful just to type it out and own it. Your responses have been very helpful, too. It helps hearing I'm not the only one who has been there. I *know* it, but sometimes it's helpful to hear it.
I'm another carb addict. I need to detox. TOM came today, so I'm hoping now that I'm out of PMS I won't retain as much water and I won't have such carby urges.
I'm dropping off my DD at preschool and hitting the treadmill this morning. And I WILL eat well today. I will, I will, I will... LOL
Smack that treadmill good! I think a lot of us have been struggling - and I agree with those who said it could very well be a weather thing. I'm SO READY for spring! But with spring and warmer weather comes more revealing clothes, no bulky jackets, and darn it, I want to show my hard work! I've been doing some mindless snacking, I surprise myself by sticking something in my mouth while I'm feeding the kids, that I would normally never do. To keep myself OP, I am starting my clothes shopping - mostly looking, but it keeps me very focused!
Journey Started: June 22, 2010 (233 lbs)
Met Goal: June 22, 2011 (133 lbs)
Starting again April 16, 2015 - losing weight from 3rd baby!!
Last edited by sept15lija : 02-25-2011 at 09:59 AM.
I hurt my hip being overzealous with the exercise, and I need this hip for work so as of now, I am grounded off the stepper.
I hurt my hip this past week too.... aggrivating an old injury from this past summer. It sucks, because so much of any kind of exercise involves the muscles and/or the hip itself. I figured I'd take it easy on wednesday and only do some light cardio, and as soon as I took the first step my hip was like NO
I was able to do a little bit of research on some hip exercises or stretches though that is supposed to strengthen and stretch out everything there. I have found two that I can do with no pain, and they really seem to be helping. One is to balance on one leg and swing the other leg front to back. Focusing on quality and not quantity. (set of 10)... and without pain. The other one is the same, but you are sweeping your leg in front of you, left to right, like a clock. Same concept. I do it a couple of times a day at work. I'm in customer service and sit for a good amount of the day, but also ship in the afternoons... which my hip is very unhappy with. But for the past two days, these little exercises have done me a world of good.
There are more exercises, but they involve different types of lunges. It's not an option now, at my current weight and my stupid knees. When I get lighter, I will try them then.
Anyway.. I hope your hip feels better! Try the little exercises and see if it improves!
I've been struggling as well. I'm in NY where I think we're finally coming to the end of this horrible winter.
Think ahead to spring. Have you bought new clothes(I would hope, because I can imagine that after 67 lbs. they'd be falling off you!)? Maybe it's time for a shopping trip, some new recipes, a change to your exercise routine?
I've been taking some of my own advice and am looking up new crockpot recipes as we speak. I also signed up for a 5K to get my running on track.
I'd just like to suggest keeping healthier carb treats around (in the freezer) for those weak moments. I always keep a batch of pumpkin-raisin muffins in the freezer. At only 139 cals per muffin and loaded with fiber...they fill me up and satisfy my carb cravings. As a a matter of fact, I just tried to alter a recipe for blueberry muffins (added protein powder for extra protein)...hope they come out good...I like a variety!
Bottom line...the best defense...is good OFFENSE! Be prepared...
Just wanted to update... and thank you all! Your words helped, and somehow I've managed to pull myself together and get back on track. I've still been slacking on the exercise (and am about to remedy that by going downstairs and reintroducing myself to my treadmill) but I've stopped my binging and not caring. Back on track, and weighed in at 197.8 (my lowest!) this morning.
Tonight I'm going out to eat for my anniversary. I do plan to indulge a bit (wine, split dessert maybe, steak...), but will be right back at it tomorrow morning.