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Old 02-22-2011, 08:55 PM   #1
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Unhappy He broke my heart into a billion pieces.....and now im messing up

well girls i havent been online in a few weeks. My boyfriend of 5 years was cheating on me and i found out. He packed his stuff and was gone by last thursday without another word. Just like that. His cheating and verbal (sometimes physical) abuse has left me bitter and broken with no self asteem. I was doing really good on my diet and then last week after the shock wore off i ate anything i could get my hands on and gained all the weight back. Im sad and lost. I feel like giving up.

Last edited by oklahomachick26; 02-22-2011 at 08:59 PM. Reason: spelling
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Old 02-22-2011, 08:58 PM   #2
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I'm so sorry that happened to you. You must be hurting so much right now... Hang in there, and do what you can to be good and kind to yourself.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:10 PM   #3
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Oh I'm sorry that you are going through this!

I have been cheated on as well. Didn't find out until my marriage was breaking up that not only had he been cheating recently (and possibly with my brother's girlfriend) but also while I was pregnant with HIS daughter! I was heartbroken.

My last boyfriend was also abusive.

I'm just racking 'em up here aren't I?

It makes you questions your judgment. It makes you question your self worth. I makes you question your beauty, kindness, intelligence, everything. And these questions are most certainly uncomfortable. So we eat.

To fill the void. To ignore the pain. To cure the blues. Because in fact- food does have a chemical effect in the body. It is fact- it does make us feel better.

I, myself, have issues with emotions. I'd rather not feel hurt, or sadness. So I avoid sad movies at all costs. I don't read sad books. Not even if they come out with a happy ending. I can cry at the hint of a Kay Jewelers commercial. And if I find something hysterically funny, the next emotion out of me is horrible sadness complete with sobbing.... It's like laughter is one tick shy of crying and the emotional flood gates have opened. It's not normal, but I'm working on it!

But I want you to remember- emotions pass. That sadness will not be there forever. Nor will the pain or the bitterness. And soon you'll look back and think about him and exclaim rather loudly "THAT JERK!" It's ok to feel a full range of emotions. Happiness, and sadness. Everything passes. Just sit with it, and it will pass. Bottle it, and you'll end up like me

Do something that makes you feel good (that is not food related). Because.. you are totally worth it.


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Old 02-22-2011, 09:29 PM   #4
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Oh I'm sorry!! How horrible for him to do that to you.

I totally understand how this can drive you to eating... But, please remember to take care of yourself and to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated.


Ultimate Goal = 160
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:44 PM   #5
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you said "His cheating and verbal (sometimes physical) abuse " verbal and physical abuse makes him low life scum not worthy of one tear. be glad he is gone
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:44 PM   #6
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What an a$$hole! You deserve so much better!
Lose 10 pounds at a time!
every 10 lbs
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:45 PM   #7
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I know it's hard but try to look at it this way you just lost some dead weight. He was holding you down. He was not treating you right and now you don't have to carry that burden. Take this as a time to get your life in order and start fresh. Now that he's gone you'll have a lot more time to focus on you and your needs and everything else will come easy.

Independence Day Challenge!

Current Measurements 36" 30.5" 38"
First goal 225 lbs- met 10/20/2010
Second goal 210 lbs- met 01/10/2011
Third goal onederland - 02/21/2011
Fourth goal 180 - 05/16/2011
Ultimate goal 165
Side goal 34" waist - met 02/15/2011
Side goal 30" waist
Side goal no longer be considered Obese on BMI 03/09/2011

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Old 02-22-2011, 09:50 PM   #8
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Actually you have losrt 180 pounds or whatever weight he is, he is a jerk and you deserve so much better. I understand about the food but it won't change anything. Concentrate on getting healthy , take one day at a time and realize he did you a favor by getting out of your life.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:52 PM   #9
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OMG niafabo I used to LIVE in Bradenton Florida! Grew up in Palmetto and went to PHS!

as for the a$$hole...I am SO sorry you are having to go through this right now but the others said it best, if he was verbaly and physically abusive to you GOOD RIDDENCE! You deserve SO much more and you WILL find it. Just remember you have to love yourself first and foremost. LOVE YOURSELF!!!! Don't quit, we're all here for you! You can do it!

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:54 PM   #10
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I'm so sorry to hear how he treated you, but I am happy to see that he left you so that you are able to see with time how much better you are without him! No one deserves abuse, emotional or physical. Look at this as a new start and when one door closes another one always opens. Work on yourself, love yourself, believe in yourself and you can do this. You are worthy of someone treating you right! Allow yourself 5 min. a day to be upset.. cry, do what you need to, but then pick yourself up and move on as hard as it hurts. You are worth it! ((hugs))
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:55 PM   #11
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grrrrrr I am sooooo tired of boys who do this crap! Honey you have been sad long enough. Take all that sadness and turn it into anger. Take up shadow boxing(imaging him as the shadow) and get some exercise in. Go to work and spend time with all those precious animals. And start ur life over by focusing on you and ur happiness.
1st goal

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Old 02-22-2011, 09:59 PM   #12
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From what you have told us it doesn't sound like you have lost much with his leaving but a lot of heartache. You deserve so much more. Try and think of this as a fresh start, cause that is what it is.
"It's a lifestyle, it's something you do the rest of your life," "How long are you going to keep breathing? How long do you keep eating? You just do it."

Jack LaLanne
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Old 02-22-2011, 10:19 PM   #13
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You may feel bitter, broken and down in the dumps now, but you are finally free to make yourself happy without living in fear of some jerk. It's never easy and the cycle of abuse makes it impossible to think of yourself as a person who deserves good things, but please please please be kind to yourself. Spend some time with girlfriends, don't take other people's BS, and behave SELFISHLY - now is the time to focus on YOU and work on loving yourself.

Push on some more!

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Old 02-22-2011, 10:31 PM   #14
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I know how bad you are hurting and it's so hard to look past this, but trust me -- it will pass. I just recently went through something similar. He was a good man in many ways but had some serious baggage. Like your jerk, mine left me very abruptly over a pretense, never able to say what the real issue was. What a coward. (It wasn't my weight, in case you were wondering.)

Me, I turned it into a Julia Roberts moment: Using the hurt and anger to fuel my determination to lose weight. There are many things motivating me to lose the weight... health concerns, feeling better, wanting to be more active, etc., but I can't deny that the Julia Roberts moment is one of them. There will come a day when we run into each other, me at my goal weight.... "Big, big mistake. Huge."

I may even be well over it long before I lose all my weight, but it's still motivating.

Lemons into lemonade, baybehh!! I hope you can see your own self worth again soon.
Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
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Old 02-23-2011, 12:11 AM   #15
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I am sorry you are going through ****. But as Winston Churchill once put it -- "if you are going through ****....keep on going!"

You have to process your grief at the betrayal, I know.

But don't worry -- there will be better days! And don't worry about being off plan today. You just lost at least 150 or more by getting rid of this jerk!

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