I discovered that I didn't get to 300 pounds because I had a normal relationship to food. How i react to food cues, stress, boredom, fun, has all been through food. When I placed food on such a high pedestal, I made it have far more importance in my life than it needed to have.
Changing how I ate, the foods, the amount was all threatening to my urge to indulge. Like a child being told NO, I felt resentment and even anger that I could not eat the way my urges wanted to. It takes a long time to work through this intrinsic part of us. It's part of the process of change. Sometime it seems overwhelming and the best thing to do is talk about it, explore it, work through it. Don't push it aside or ignore it. It's a part of you that needs to be addressed.
I figured out that motivation is short term, committment is long term. Motivation for me is a short term goal. I will do something to keep myself refreshed in my diet. A commitment for me is just that, making my diet as important as having to take a life saving pill every single day of my life. I don't mess with it, it what I must do, even through the maze that life can sometimes create.
It's normal to experience the urge to indulge. I am on week 73 of my diet and I still have them. I look at it, try to make the connection to what is going on in my life, with my emotions or if something is giving me a cue, like watching my husband eat candy. I re-affirm my commitment by reminding myself of how I feel right now and compare it to how i have felt in the past when food was more important and I ate until I weighed over 300 pounds. Every time I connect the dots, the more determined I am to feel my best, lose more weight and look forward instead of backwards.