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what am i doing??! and WHY??? *RANT*

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Old 02-15-2011, 09:51 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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Height: 170cm

Default what am i doing??! and WHY??? *RANT*

Urgh! I can't seem to lose the last 7kg and its driving me insane! And now the frustration has led to me self sabotagiing myself and I dont know how to stop!! Ive been at my current weight for months now and every two weeks now I break my diet. It started being one cheat meal every two weeks, then moved to one cheat day (mostly because I just couldnt control the eating) once a week and then had two weeks of full on binge! after each cheat/binge I gaiin 2-5kg, freakout, go back to low carb/calorie counting, lose the weight, go back to 77.7kg, then begin the whole cycle all over again. Whats now really worrying me is that its getting harder and longer to get back to 77.7kg and I am just so frustrated with myself and I dont know why I am self sabotaging myself. I recognise that a lot of it is stress eating, I hate my job, I am applying for other jobs but so far nothing has happened and this scares me to think that I am stuck in this job and ive bought a hosue and the change and the moving was too stressful and also am studying for my MBA and with full time job its hard. But see... it was hard before and I managed it with the diet but now I just seem to constantly want to break it! esp sugar and carb cravings. last week I had a whole pizza, then went out for dinner and ate burgers and fries (literally an hour after the pizza) and then came home and ate half a cake! Who does that?? How did it all even fit in my stomach??

Does anyone else have a self sabotage pattern? how do you break it? I just want to really get past this weight and it makes me sad that i wont let myelsf.
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:14 AM   #2
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i used to sabotage myself too. i took some time away from trying to lose the weight. i mentally gave up on it for awhile. just worked on listening to IOWL - inside out weightloss podcasts, and soon after i started listening to her, i worked on doing some exercise consistently. i made a rule. i had to do SOMETHING everyday. an hour long hard w/o, squats before bed, something. i worked on the hw from IOWL, stopped eating when i wasn't hungry. broke my plateu.

i think i was dealing with a fear. something about losing weight below a certain wall in my mind-200, is like sooo, impossible. but then when i can do it, i just ate more and gained it back. there's lots of emotional baggage to be discovered when the weight comes off.

it sounds like you may need to take some time off losing weight. just maintain for awhile. and please stop beating yourself up. it just keeps that cycle going. eat, feel guilty, diet, and so on.

food is our fuel. try to train yourself to use the food as fuel. if you ate something that wasn't good fuel, pick yourself up. eat lighter at the next meal. go for a walk. workout. naturally slender people don't freak out and starve themselves when they overeat. they just compensate at the next meal. eat less, lighter, exercise a bit more. and try to prevent trigger situations.
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