i used to sabotage myself too. i took some time away from trying to lose the weight. i mentally gave up on it for awhile. just worked on listening to IOWL - inside out weightloss podcasts, and soon after i started listening to her, i worked on doing some exercise consistently. i made a rule. i had to do SOMETHING everyday. an hour long hard w/o, squats before bed, something. i worked on the hw from IOWL, stopped eating when i wasn't hungry. broke my plateu.
i think i was dealing with a fear. something about losing weight below a certain wall in my mind-200, is like sooo, impossible. but then when i can do it, i just ate more and gained it back. there's lots of emotional baggage to be discovered when the weight comes off.
it sounds like you may need to take some time off losing weight. just maintain for awhile. and please stop beating yourself up. it just keeps that cycle going. eat, feel guilty, diet, and so on.
food is our fuel. try to train yourself to use the food as fuel. if you ate something that wasn't good fuel, pick yourself up. eat lighter at the next meal. go for a walk. workout. naturally slender people don't freak out and starve themselves when they overeat. they just compensate at the next meal. eat less, lighter, exercise a bit more. and try to prevent trigger situations.