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Stressful times and feeling horrible

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Old 02-04-2011, 10:17 PM   #1
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Default Stressful times and feeling horrible

Ladies I am getting washed away by stress eating. I thought I had it under control but it is getting out of hand. I had a hard year in 2008-2009. I have a special needs child and things had gotten into a rountine, but lately my DD is not sleepin well. And when I say not sleeping well I mean sleeping for an hour then waking up for the night and no naps in the daytime. I walk around like a zombie taking her to her appointments and therapies. I do get some breaks when my hubby is home and when she goes to school couple days out of the week, but I am just going downhill with my eating habits.
I gained 45 lbs when I was pregnant and then gained an additional 15 from stress after DD was born/ I lost 30 lbs last year but stalled and gained after a vacation...then I just bounced around the rest of the year...but since Sept I have gone down to 151 and then gained over xmas.. now I am just eating nonsense and feel like I can't stop. I have never had binge issues but I will do good all day and then eat junk food or high calorie food IE pasta and ruin my control of the day. I really don't know what I am asking of you guys but I just felt like pouring it out since today my hubby got mad at me eating some candy saying that I say I am on a diet but he can't understand why I don't eat healthy all the time. I feel horrible because he married a good looking slim girl and I am this chubby person who can't get it together. I miss my old confident self and my old clothes and I am tired of feeling uncomfortable.
whew
well I let it all out thanks for listening
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Old 02-04-2011, 10:49 PM   #2
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Oh Sweetie, you need sleep. That's all you need - sleep. Right now you are burning both ends and quick sugar is what's getting you through the day. That and it's IMPOSSIBLE to make good decisions when your brain is at 1/3 power.

I have so been there, done that with the no sleeping due to a child with special needs. My 'fortune' is that he's high functioning autism, but I didn't sleep for years and I'm sure that's when much of my health problems developed because of it.

And it's stressing your marriage too = the sleep and the needs of a special needs child.

Just try to get some sleep and stop beating yourself up. Take it one day at a time and try to switch off on the sleepless nights with your husband or something. Anyway to get a night nanny or something to allow you to rest at night? Or something?
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Old 02-05-2011, 02:08 AM   #3
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I don't have much to say but you know that I, and the other accountability girls are here for you. I think you do amazingly well and you get in all the exercise! I get that it's frustrating for you...but I really think you're doing really well given your circumstances. And you are still a gorgeous looking woman so don't say anything differently!
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Old 02-05-2011, 10:37 PM   #4
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berry Thanks for the love. I know what the problem is but can't solve the sleep issues just yet. Still working on it. Hopefully soon. Hubby is at work for days at a time. I guess I just have to keep trying. Kisses to your little one

rainbow Thanks love. I know I have you girls... but sometimes I feel like I have lost my momentum and am just plain lost. Its hard to explain. I never had weight issues before and so I get so annoyed with the whole process and lack of results and resolve.

Thanks for listening ladies.
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Old 02-05-2011, 10:49 PM   #5
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Can you get someone to watch your daughter? Either someone you pay, or another mom where you watch each others' kids for a couple of hours?

Good luck!
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Old 02-06-2011, 08:27 AM   #6
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I believe if you have a special needs child there may be programs available to you similar to adult day care to enable you to get some rest. It may require jumping through some hoops, but I would definitely look into what government aid is possibly available. Definitely sleep is a priority over anything.
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Old 02-06-2011, 11:04 AM   #7
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*hugs*

We all have slip ups, probably for not nearly as good of a reason as yours! But I just wanted to say I believe in your ability to turn this around and get back to a place you feel comfortable and confident. Cut yourself a little slack, and give it a bit of time (and sleep).
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Old 02-06-2011, 08:07 PM   #8
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nicki heather She does go to school 3 days out of the week and I usually end up using that time to clean and do errands. I need to train myself to use it to sleep. We just started last month so I am still not used to it yet. Thanks for your replies

xty thank you sweetie. I am trying to forgive myself but its hard to see all those months I wasted! Oh well starting from here right?

thanks ladies! I feel a little better. ate well today
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Old 02-06-2011, 08:51 PM   #9
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Hey Sun,

I'm so sorry you are running yourself ragged over there. I can relate to the stress as well. We just moved my grandmother here from Arizona because her doctor was trying to kill her, and it has been ****. I'm a single mom, working a full time job-- and I also live with my mom, my brother, his daughter, my grandmother, and of course, my daughter. It's a big house, but not THAT big, and I find myself to be the only person cleaning the house.

Actually.. trying to clean the house it more like it. To be fair, my grandmother has been in the hospital/rehab for two weeks now.. my mom goes every day to visit her... I've let her off the hook. But my brother- does nothing. And I've afraid that I'm either going to eat a box of donuts, or completely spaz out on him. (He actually threw a fit today because my mom asked him to clean off the back steps of ice- after she just fell down them and hit her head on the steps!)

Sometimes I want to take a pillow.. and when he's sleeping.... well.... atleast smack him with it

Anyway, do remember that you can only take care of others as much as you take care of yourself. You aren't doing anyone any favors if you aren't taking care of yourself. It had taken me a LONG LONG time to realize that and really apply it. I've always had every excuse in the world for not exercising. Most of it revolved around my daughter's schedule after I picked her up from school. There is only a short window of time for dinner, homework, bath, snuggle time, and bed, you know?!

But everyday I have been taking 30 mins to myself to exercise. (And actually, my little 4 year old daughter usually joins me!) Because I am no good to her if I am not here for here 10, 20 or 30 years from now! It's such a scary thought- especially since my father passed when he was 53. I'm still mad at him for not being here because he didn't take care of himself!!!

So...I don't know how the care and school and therapies are divvied up, but maybe you and your husband need to sit down and rearrange things so that you can have a little time to yourself. (And find time to sleep!!)

I also want to recommend you a book called "100 Days of Weight Loss" by Linda Spangle. She literally goes through 100 days with you. Each day with a different topic, different things to think about, each day has a different approach to try, and journaling to do. I'm on day 21. It's been really helpful. I almost am kind of at peace with my "dieting." Instead of being like "Well poo.. I'm on a diet and I can't eat anything and I'm miserable!!" now I just feel like.. this is how I eat now. It's different. And weird

Also, if you need some further stress relief, feel free to hop a bus up to Philly, you can help me kick my brother's butt.

LR
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