So, back in 2007 I lost 110 pounds. I was eating right, exercising and living a healthy life! I was even bellydancing! I felt great! (See my old signature and pictures below) Then I started dating this man who was overweight and did not live a healthy lifestyle. Slowly I picked up his habits and gained weight and then he dumped me because of it! I don't blame him totally. I put the food in my mouth and I didn't exercise, but he always wanted to go to fast food restaurants, and he complained when I spent time exercising instead of being with him. It sometimes felt like he was trying to sabotage me! So, I gained 80 pounds back, but I am glad I lost his 260 pounds of jerk!
I really want to get back on track, but it feels too hard. I can't believe after all my hard work I'm almost back to where I started! If I don't do something I'm afraid I'll end up weighing even more than I did before! I'm really having trouble finding that drive and motivation I had before. Any suggestions? Has anyone else had to start again but was successful?
I think many of us have been there, and you, coming here asking, is a start.
Back in 1997 I weighed 235 pounds. I got down to 185 (50 pounds exactly). Then I felt it start to crumble. I had changed jobs, tensions between my husband and I were back, and I was so stressed, I started eating emotionally again and couldn't fit exercise in (no wonder - with a spouse in a rigorous PhD program and me working so much and a toddler in daycare who was always sick and feeling stretched WAY too thin). I gained it all back - QUICKLY and then some. by 2002 I weighed 275. Lost ten, got pregnant, lost a bit then, back down to 235, then back up to 265 and then last year, lost ten, so I was at 255.
I'm now 41 and have scary medical stuff looming over my head 2/3s of it I can control with a healthy diet, weight and exercise, so that's what finally got me to DO IT, but for YEARS and YEARS I was too scared to try. Like you, I had done it once, I was almost at goal. I had worked SO HARD and then, lost control and just piled it all back on plus some.
I was really afraid of it happening again - super scared. But now I'm more scared of NOT trying. It woke me up.
And, I know I'm only 1 month into this and just joined here today after being away for 12 years (have no idea what my previous user name was or if it would even still be active!), but it is so much easier than I thought it would be. I was letting fear of failure rule my life, but now I'm just doing the best I can, each and every day. It took me years to put on the weight, it doesn' thave to come off in 6 months - one day at a time.
I've lost 7 pounds in the last 3.5 weeks and I feel happier and better about myself. I walk an hour every day, eat for hunger and have eliminated the simple carbs from my diet, but I'm not restricting calories. Some days I eat 1800 calories, other days 2000 and so far so good. I'm feeling stronger and feeling more positive and most of the worries of failure are slipping away, but I totally get it, I do.
But you can only do it when you are ready, but coming back here, sharing that you stumbled a bit, well, that's a really good first step to getting your life back on track to a new, healthier you.
when i was 21, i lost about 80lbs, fairly quickly. then a few "life things" happened, and over the course of 2 years, i gained all except for 10 of them back. my highest known weight was 261lbs (when i was 21). between the ages of 23 and now, i'm 27, i've been anywhere between 235-251. i started weightwatchers, and have been steadily losing since november. does it stink that i didn't stop my weight before it got past the initial 10lbs? sure. but it is what it is.
know that you can start again. i lost a lot of weight before. i can do it again. and now, i feel that i can keep it off with the plan i'm following now. what i did before was too drastic and not flexible. you did it before, and you will do it again. it's like going through a break up...it sucks, but we've been through them. we survive, and give someone else our hearts
what helped me get back on track was knowing that i DO have control here. there are some things in life that we don't have control over. but this, i do. and i will harness it. and it empowered me to start making the changes. and week by week, as i see results, or have a little non scale victory, it keeps me going. yeah, there are obstacles, but keep your eye on the prize (and not in terms of how many pounds)- your health, happiness, and how you were feeling before, and bellydancing! i know it can feel overwhelming to look at the scale and thing...jeez, 50lbs to go and whatnot, so start with 5lbs. you can lose 5 lbs. then go on to the next 5, and so on.
you can do it girl! you have the drive, the tools, just get in the right mind frame! and being on the boards is a great motivator. lots of wisdom here
good luck hun.
Last edited by fillupthesky; 01-30-2011 at 04:18 AM.
I've yoyo'd quite a bit in my life, always turning up bigger than before every time I lost weight. Like berryblondeboys, I'll be 40 next month and I started flirting with some serious health problems and finally decided enough was enough. I have a great, sustainable plan in place and have been rocking it! But I would be lying if I said the yoyo thing doesn't scare me (a lot).
I think the biggest thing I try to do is use the past mistakes as learning experiences. I think yours is pretty simple -- once you get back closer to where you want to be, make sure YOU are always priority ONE. You have learned that giving too much of yourself over in a relationship can have disasterous results, so you know what to do differently next time.
Think back, it's only REALLY hard in the beginning. Get it started, get over the hump, then smooth sailing. And you are still WAY ahead of the game, still down a lot from your highest weight, so the hole you dug isn't as bad as it could be. You can stop the madness now and get back to it, I know you can!
I don't think it's helpful to beat yourself in these kinds of situations. If you aren't, awesome. If you are, try this trick. Allow yourself a few minutes to think about it during the day and then DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. If you start to think negative thoughts just stop yourself short and think about something else.
You're going to get whatever you focus on. So focus on your goals.
I too have lost the weight, then regained it back, several times and for several different reasons. I know the mountain seems taller and steeper when you know you been up there (lost the weight) and some how your back at the bottom (gain it back).
Its funny how the knee jerk reaction is sometimes to say, "I'm not going to do this again, I can't, its so hard..." At least for me, I felt like I saw this overwhelming task that I had already accomplished and got discouraged...BUT...
I tell myself that there is only 2 options.
1. I say "I've done this and gained it back, I can't do it again" (Which secretly translates to I don't want to do it again And stay fat.
2. I say "Oh well, I've gained it back, so I'll have to lose it again if I want to be thin again." Maybe next time I will remember this and be careful not to let life lead me to over eating and gaining it back.
I never chooose the "stay fat" option. Its not an option for me. It means giving up.
Don't give up. The road is hard, but you have 3FC! This website will be there to encourage you and guide you whether you are doing well or having an off day. Next month, next year will come and when it does, you'll be glad you started again. You'll be glad you started today and not next year.
I think it's good that you've lost the weight before, because you know it CAN be done. There's nothing wrong with your body.
The other thing that's great is that you now know that you have to keep your healthy lifestyle, regardless of who you are dating or hanging out with, so that you maintain the weight loss.
Those are two awesome lessons.
Sure, it sucks that you have to do it again. We've all been there at some point or another.... but you CAN do it and reach goal!!!!!!
Thanks so much everyone! And thank goodness for 3FC! This is the best place to get motivation and advice. I'm already feeling better and fired up to do it again and even better this time.... and FOREVER this time! Fingers crossed!!
Thanks so much everyone! And thank goodness for 3FC! This is the best place to get motivation and advice. I'm already feeling better and fired up to do it again and even better this time.... and FOREVER this time! Fingers crossed!!
Need advice & encouragement
Like berryblondeboys, I'll be 40 next month and I started flirting with some serious health problems and finally decided enough was enough. I have a great, sustainable plan in place and have been rocking it! But I would be lying if I said the yoyo thing doesn't scare me (a lot). 
