Quote:
Originally Posted by HadEnough
What exactly are coping skills? Obviously I don't have any because A) I am asking and B) the first thing I want to do when I am super stressed is have some drinks (alcohol). Can anyone help me to understand what I am missing?
|
Everyone has coping skills, some people just don't always have coping skills that are as effective in the long run as they are in the short run.
Turning to alcohol when stressed is a coping skill, and a very effective one, but only in the short term. Over the long term, it causes more stress and damage than it relieves (which is why the behavior tends to escalate - the more you rely on the alcohol the more stress you have, and the more alcohol it takes to relieve the stress).
What you may be "missing" is finding coping skills that have fewer long-term negative consequences - coping skills that may initially and in the short term seem less effective, but that are more effective and not harmful in the long term.
You essentially need coping skills without, or at least with fewer adverse side effects.
Eating has always been my coping skill. On the surface it seems to have fewer consequences than alcohol and drugs, but it's still not consequence free. I'm grateful that I didn't turn to drugs and alcohol, but I still need much healthier coping skills.
Coming to 3FC and to my TOPS group is probably my best coping skill. I also read, write fiction, journal, work on crochet and crafting projects, and (not often enough exercise).
I need to use the exercise coping skills more, and the sitting-on-my-butt coping skills less (and I am making progress. Five years ago, exercise was barely in my repetoire of coping skills. I swam occasionally, but by occasionally I mean four or five swims per year).
Coping Skills
