3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Rough week- Dating disasters

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-23-2011, 05:22 PM   #1
One pound at a time...
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 126

S/C/G: 214/TICKER/125

Height: 5'3"

Default Rough week- Dating disasters

Hey all, sorry in advance for the rant! I just don't feel super comfortable talking about this in real life.

So I already mentioned this in the 20-somethings thread, but a few days ago, I was talking to the boy I had kinda sorta been seeing about how slippery it was outside (because of a bad ice storm). His response was something like "you're fat- you should have tried sliding around on your stomach."

After receiving some fabulous advice from the ladies on here and my best friend in real life, I was feeling a liiiittle bit better, and agreed to be set up on a blind date. Personality-wise, we clicked remarkably well...then later I find out from our mutual friend that afterward he said "She was totally awesome, so I feel terrible about this, but I'm not...not attracted to...certain kinds of people."

At this point I'm already praying for the earth to swallow me whole and feeling like a whale, but my (also overweight) friend convinced me to go out to a bar with her last night. Things are going great, till we overhear the guys next to us say this:

Guy #1: Hey, should we hit on those girls later?
Guy #2: Yeah, okay.
Guy #1: Oh, wait, they're both fat. Nevermind.

To clarify, I am a size 12! When did size 12 become the new size 50?! And when did it become okay for everyone in the world to talk this way? Needless to say, after this week, my self-esteem has been beyond obliterated. Ugh.
__________________


PlaygroundLove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 05:35 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
CosmicGal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 154

S/C/G: 183/see ticker/140

Height: 5'7

Default

OMG! I am so sorry. I don't have advice because all of those make me want to get up and kick everyone in the teeth. I don't even. just * E-hugs*
CosmicGal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 05:43 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
DisgruntledOne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 279

S/C/G: 195/172.8/145

Height: 5'2

Default

i'm sorry you feel so bad due to others ignorance. But I think you are looking at this the wrong way. Sounds like to me you have dodged some bullets. Who would want to spend time with boys who act like that. Yes it's nice to liked for ur appearance but in the long run that isn't important.
__________________
1st goal

2nd goal
DisgruntledOne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 05:54 PM   #4
Why can't you?
 
AZ Sunrises's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 486

S/C/G: 334/290.8/167

Height: 5'2"

Default

I'm not seeing the problem. You've met a couple of people who aren't worth getting to know. Life goes on.
__________________
Restart 10/01/11 at 297 lbs...after being at 265. I won't update this ticker until I'm back to that weight.


Pounds til obese instead of morbidly so.
[url=http://www.3fatchicks.com/] [/url
AZ Sunrises is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 06:25 PM   #5
Funsized Fiesta
 
KenzideRhae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 590

S/C/G: 230/144.5/130

Height: 5'4"

Default

You really shouldn't feel so bad about the actions of others! If that guy you went on a blind date with is throwing away the fact that you guys had a great time and great chemistry because of something superficial, that is HIS problem, not yours. If some random guys you don't even know make negative comments about you and your friend, again, THEIR problem, not yours! You don't want to be dating guys who act that way anyway, so why let it bother you? They're not worth your time at all.

You've made great progress on your weight loss so far, and you should be proud of that. Whenever you're feeling down because of negative comments, just think of all that you've accomplished and all the wonderful things about yourself and don't let it get to you.
__________________


Normal BMI



The aim of life is self-development. To realise one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.

Last edited by KenzideRhae : 01-23-2011 at 06:26 PM.
KenzideRhae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 06:30 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
Rana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,065

S/C/G: 200/164/140

Height: 5'5"

Default

I'm slightly older than you and my conclusion is that these guys aren't the kind of guys that you want in your life.

Sure, it sucks that all these things happened in the same week, but it doesn't say anything about you, it says a lot more about them.

One of the things that you'll hopefully realize when the hurt of these comments goes away is that you don't want guys like these. You want a guy who loves you regardless of your weight, who sees you for who you are.

Guys can be pretty shallow because they're just wired to be visual creatures, but they don't have to be rude. All of these guys were being rude and shallow.

There are some good guys out there who'll see you and think you are amazing and beautiful, regardless of your weight.
Rana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 06:59 PM   #7
Member
 
kcnc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southeast
Posts: 75

S/C/G: 201/201/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

Your post turned my stomach into a knot, because I know exactly how you feel.

I'd say I'm a pretty confident girl, but when my (previously incredibly kind) grandmother's alzheimers got to the point where she started making ugly comments about my weight in front of everyone, I wanted to disappear into the wall and die. I knew it was part of her illness, but it was playing right into my illness...hating myself.

The guys haven't been better. And there's not much anyone can say as an excuse. I know what you're thinking - "Yes, they're *******s, but they still chose to comment on my weight, so it's definitely me."

Here's the way I look at it now. My dad has this expression, "getting on your hind legs." It's like getting an indignant, 'who the **** do you think you're talking to,' additude. And you deserve it. Look at what you've accomplished! Look at where you've decided to be Don't you dare forget where you're headed - and keep thinking about how sorry those kind of *******s are going to be when you walk right past them in a few months.

Keep your head up lady!
__________________


Starting again! : 3/23/14
Mini-Goals:
10% of my weight gone! (181):
Weight when I met my husband (169):
Half-way to Goal! (168):
No longer "overweight" (154):
Three quarters there! (151):
GOAL!!! (135):
kcnc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 07:14 PM   #8
Member
 
Button's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 61

Height: 5'6

Default

So the guy told you that "You're fat - you should have tried sliding around on your stomach." yet had enough tact in that other conversation to say "She was totally awesome, so I feel terrible about this, but I'm not...not attracted to...certain kinds of people."? Admittedly I may be jumping to conclusions, but I think he's the type I was talking about in my other post that's just using Asperger's as the medicalization of being a jerk. That's a good thing to know so you don't waste any more time and energy on him.

And as for those guys at the bar...sometimes guys just suck. I'm sorry you had all of this happen to you in the same week, though. That's tough. *Virtual hug*
__________________
"Barrier. Down!"


Button is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 07:26 PM   #9
Eat Big to Stay Small
 
krampus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Troy, NY
Posts: 6,438

S/C/G: 160+/116/114

Height: 5'5

Default

Oh heck, *BIG HUG* for you. People are jackasses and you don't need them and all that but I understand it's impossible not to internalize those kinds of comments.

Hold your head up high and most importantly don't eat your feelings or you're letting them win. You've lost a bunch of weight already and you are on track to losing more.
__________________
Push on some more!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/krampus
krampus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 08:22 PM   #10
gym bunny
 
nickyj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Midwest- michigan
Posts: 82

S/C/G: 210/168/140

Height: 5ft 6

Default

I dont get it either. Im a size 14 and I dont think I look terrible, but I have heard losts and lots of men say they would never date anyone over a size 8. People are ignorant sometimes, I swear. So vein and superficial. Not the types of people that are worth bothering with. I feel so lucky now, my husband loves me, no matter what I weigh.

You will find someone worthy of you, just remember how awesome and amazing you are. dont let their crap egos get you down.
nickyj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 08:55 PM   #11
Jillian stole my abs!
 
shcirerf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Go Huskers!
Posts: 2,337

S/C/G: 195.8/138/140

Height: 5'5"

Default

You're losing weight, but guys like that will probably always be stupid, and you can't fix stupid!
__________________

3+ year maintainer.
The human body is capable of amazing things! But without the mind, it is nothing. Get your mind in gear and the body will follow!

Be selfish about caring for yourself, you deserve it!
shcirerf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 09:33 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
bargoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,137

S/C/G: 204/114/120

Height: 5'

Default

These kinds of people are not worth your time, they are ignorant and rude.
__________________
Goal 12/21/2007
bargoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 10:00 PM   #13
Madeleine
 
fatmad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: rural southwestern Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,348

S/C/G: sw187/cw186/gw120

Height: 5 ft 3.5 in or 163 cm

Default women are beautiful

As a health professional who works with women, I see women in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes really big at the end of their pregnancies. I see them looking like **** at the end of long hard labours etc.
I have never met a woman I didn't think was attractive, beautiful even.
As I get to know a new client, I just enjoy her and generally like people more and more, and miss them when I discharge them. About the only time I think about her weight is when I write down her BMI on intake and then after pregnancy if I am giving weight loss advice. That advice is based on health, nothing more in my mind. I already know she is lovely, the weight loss is for her benefit, not mine.
( I love the guys the same, men tend to be wonderful in labour, so I mostly get to see the best of them. )
You current weight is what I was at my peak last year. (well actually Nov 2009) My husband has only loved me and supported me for my health, not because he didn't love me as I was. I hope and pray for you that you find someone who cares about you right!
__________________
Fatmad

zen and the art of weight loss, finding the true path of en-lighten-ment

fatmad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 10:05 PM   #14
shwerk
 
gagalu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 473

S/C/G: 274/158/145

Height: 5'7"

Default

lol not worth your time. you don't need to impress anyone, let alone some guy who would only be interested in you to bone you. keep your standards high when you're within their standards and stay far, far away.
__________________


gagalu is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:37 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2