[dancinginpaint]

I was on the treadmill at my apartment complex today, I usually try to just focus on the task at hand (foot?)while i'm there but today two ladies came and started their workouts at the same time.
Normally I wouldn't think anything of it but for the longest time only one treadmill had been working. So one of the very fit looking women hopped on the one next to me. It was weird. I pretty sure I saw her was looking over at my speeds incline etc etc and I felt embarrassed. So i'm having this inner dialogue with myself, feeling bad and then I said something that was surprising to myself. I don't know this person but in my head I said she was better than me. Really? Have I been so shallow as to believe that because she was more fit than I that she was better? I mean yes, her taking care of herself is a good trait, but should I think she was better and that I deserved to feel low? I don't know her, I don't know if she is sweet, or kind, or compassionate or anything of the things I thought I used to define "better" by. Also do you just get used to people checking your status while on a machine? She looked so I took a look and honestly I didn't gain anything by seeing how fast she was going.
I think i'm also sensitive because it had been awhile since I had been on the treadmill I was picking up where I left off after a hard time. So maybe I just need to chill and try to change that mentality that says that skinny=better, or that being skinny is a sign that someone is good. Bleh sorry I just needed to put it out there. This ever happen to anyone else?

Edited also to say that this seems to be a standard I was holding myself too, it was about MY weight and MY weakness, not anyone elses. Bleh.

[Eurydice]

I'm glad you posted this. It made me realize that I also think the same thing when I see other people at the gym (or anywhere, really) who are more fit than myself. I think they must be silently laughing at me, or that they don't think I'm going to last long. On the one hand, it sometimes inspires me to work out even harder, but it can also cause me to feel intimidated and I should cut it out. In reality, other people probably don't care very much about my presence. Even if they did, it wouldn't matter...

I generally will look at the stats of the people beside me, but it's more out of curiosity. I have a particular workout routine and I'm always curious to see what other people's routines are.

[CurryMama]

I think I've had that idea too. That the skinner people are better than me because I let myself get this way. But, it's not completely true. They may be better than us at keeping fit, but there's more to us than our weight. We are here fixing our weight problems so it's just helping us better ourselves at this weak spot. Woo! We rock!

[sacha]

It's strange eh?

I used to be overweight & winded walking up a flight of stairs.

Now I'm quite fit looking and very athletic.

Now, sometimes I work out in the gym and occasionally next to girls that have very little gym experience. I remember one time doing shoulder presses with 20lb dumbbells while the girl beside me did them with 3lbs and struggled. She kept looking at me and I wondered if she thought that about me?

Me, I just thought it was nice to see another girl in the weight room

[Heather]

This relates to a thought I've had too.

All humans have weaknesses and problems. But if you're a shoplifter or a pyromaniac or a pedophile, or you are passive aggressive toward your sibling,or can't commit to a relationship, or are a closet drinker, or have fears or obsessions, your weakness isn't necessarily immediately visible to the world. The only difference is that our weakness - our fat - is. So, we sometimes get judged by others because they can see how we are weak. Worse, we judge ourselves.

They aren't any better or worse than we are. No more or less deserving. We're all just flawed people trying to get by in this world...

[GlamourGirl827]

I used to feel that way. But for me, after becoming an RN, then I had 2 children, (while I don't think anyone should really be better than anyone else), I don't hang my self-worth on my weight. I realize that I give other things to this world, and if being fat is one of the areas that I need improvement on, then so be it.

[Michou]

It happen every day at the gym weirdest thing in my book, I ignore it. Skinny fit people are not better human just fit that is one of their qualities sure they have bad such as being nosy LOL.

Last week at the gym I had an incident LOL. There is 10 treadmill, it was 7 in the morning, there was just one other lady. I go on to the board mark the time, I am walking real fast, breathing hard, I have a rhtym going. Five minutes into my routine, she interrupted me to ask if I would be finish in 30 minutes. I looked right and left just to make sure I was not insane and the only one in the gym, 9 free machines and she wants that one. I wanted to be nasty LOL but said sure no problem and finished my routine. By the time I left she was chatting with a friend, I walked by and with a smile told her to run before 10 more people showed up at the same time and had the urge to use machine #1. Felt good lol

[BobJack]

The most fit people are sometimes the most self conscious and shy people in the gym. They get fit to 'fit in'. Odd right?

[sacha]

Originally Posted by BobJack

The most fit people are sometimes the most self conscious and shy people in the gym. They get fit to 'fit in'. Odd right?

This is very true. A huge misconception among people is that fit/athletic/'skinny' people do not, in general, have major body or image issues. This is totally untrue. I am getting into bodybuilding/fitness/figure and I have to admit, the girls in that industry have way more body image/self confidence issues than the girls at 3FC. Here, people drive to be healthy and become an average or normal weight. In the fitness industry, the (unattainable) drive for perfection is frightening. It is very common to lose their period or to fear eating fruit after 9pm (or at all) b/c they think they will 'gain fat'. I could go on forever. It's sad.

When you have been overweight, you easily look to being fit or even just average weight and think it's some kind of holy grail, like your problems will go away. Oh no, not at all. Ask the maintainers here.

PS and remember that not all athletic/fit people at the gym were born that way Me, I was overweight once. I was once a 'bigger girl' toddling on a treadmill with no clue and staring at someone's 9.0mph on the treadmill

[milmin2043]

While reading the opening post and the responses, I had my own epiphany. I always have the feeling that "thin" people are better than me. When someone who is smaller than me walks into the gym, I suddenly feel like I weigh 1000 lbs. and have no right to be there.

I also feel this way about wealthy people, or people who obviously have more money than I do. I always feel as though they are looking down their nose at me, judging my home or my clothes. I never feel quite good enough.

Sad, isn't it, for any of us who feel this way.

[sacha]

Originally Posted by milmin2043

While reading the opening post and the responses, I had my own epiphany. I always have the feeling that "thin" people are better than me. When someone who is smaller than me walks into the gym, I suddenly feel like I weigh 1000 lbs. and have no right to be there.

And yet you seem to be kicking *** on the roman chair!!!

[dancinginpaint]

You know it is sad. However, now that I have acknowledged this thought I can change it, and we all can work to change it. Its not such a bad thing to face it I guess.

[milmin2043]

Sacha....thanks. I go late at night. DH works second shift, so we work out at 12:35 when no one is there. It's a 24 gym.

I have worked really hard to overcome these defeating feelings, but you can't help how you feel. Sometimes no matter how much we work to get rid of certain feelings, they are just always there.

[Rana]

I don't think they are "better."

But looking at what other thinner people did (including my friends and family) made me realize that there was no way in this world that I was going to be able to lose weight and still eat the way that I was eating before.

For many years, I desperately tried to find a way to eat the same and somehow lose the weight. I didn't care if I had to exercise two times a day, or to eat smaller portions of the same food, I was going to find a way to do it.

I wasn't understanding then that my PCOS just make sit impossible for me to eat the same way that I was eating before even with smaller portions. I was in a bad cycle of sugar spiking (my insulin resistance developing/getting worse) and everything that came with it.

Watching what other thinner people did, including how much they exercised, made me realize that I was being really unrealistic about what it was going to take to lose the weight.

Then, I had to start the battle with myself about making such significant changes (I didn't want to! wah wah wah!!!!).

Now, I use those thin people to remind myself about what I should be doing if I want to continue losing weight. My friends don't eat cookies and cakes every day (or even every month!) and they exercise three or 4 times a way and they cook at home and they watch what they eat.

It encourages me to have healthy habits too because it's just what it takes.

[stacygee]

HMMM- I think I feel intimidated by the fitter people at the gym. I also feel intimidated by the machines. That is why I have the trainer. After a year with a trainer they are still like a security blanket for me. I really wish I could get the self confidence to go to the free weight section by myself. It is all that I am intimidated and I feel like they are wondering why I am even there.

Perhaps the intimidation is b/c I do feel like they are better... perhaps they are better eaters, better runners, better weight lifters...

What an intersting topic. I'll be looking at more posts...