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Old 01-02-2011, 06:20 PM   #16  
Clawing my way back
 
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Good for you on taking the high road...I'm not sure I would have. Just let it go...she may be jealous and trying to justify why she is not exercising herself. I had quite a few experiences like that when I was losing weight, people saying that I was "obsessive" for counting my calories and weighing myself everyday, for example. Maybe I was "obsessive" (I don't think so) but I was also the only one losing any weight, and perhaps their own insecurity gave them the need to knock me down a peg and justify why they didn't exercise, etc.
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Old 01-02-2011, 08:40 PM   #17  
Keepin' on...
 
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Jonesie, I really admire how you handled that situation. To me, it just illustrates how much self-confidence you are gaining. Being able to SEE, in the heat of the moment, that she was obviously trying to make herself feel better by putting down your thoughts/feelings, and being able to have the confidence to KNOW that you no longer have to stoop to that level because you KNOW you are on the right track and have it going on!

I totally get what Nola is saying, but I do feel very sorry for Carol. I'm sure not having you as the "fatter friend", sitting on the couch with her, making her feel better about herself, was a little hard for her to take. I only hope that she can go home and quietly contemplate her own future -- and that she is not destined to be the fattest one in the room now that YOU are not. But of course that's up to her. I personally would be VERY inspired by you!!!
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Old 01-02-2011, 08:51 PM   #18  
just do it!
 
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WTG for taking the high road! Like others have said, nothing you would say at that point would change her mind or make her think differently.

I've been there too though....where you are still living in denial that you have a problem and look at others and find something wrong with what they did. I see my thoughts now with the pettiness and jealousy that they contained. Maybe one day Carol will have her eyes opened like so many of us here and realize that a healthy active lifestyle is better for her.
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Old 01-02-2011, 09:07 PM   #19  
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That is really awesome that you kept your cool. I cannot say I would have. I have a friend that dwells on jealousy (which what I am assuming our friend Carol there is experiencing) and I am so afraid of having to talk to her. I've only lost 10 lbs and she's making little smart comments of I refuse to starve myself or I am soooo happy with myself when no one is starving themselves and she is NOT happy with herself.
You did a wonderful job just going on with the night and that makes you a way better person than good ole Carol.
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Old 01-02-2011, 09:58 PM   #20  
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That's pretty impressive how you handled it because I probably would have mouthed off. Lol. But I have a big mouth. :X

But, I think she is probably just feeling unhappy with herself and seeing you be successful at weight loss shows that she could do it if she really tried and it was probably easier when you were at the same point that she was. She was probably insecure and even jealous of your success so I would let it go because you know that you are not harming your body, you are allowing yourself to have a longer and healthier life, nothing harmful about that

Also, I have done the 30 day shred and I can't see how it would be harmful.
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:20 PM   #21  
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WTG on taking the high road..I had a bit of a situation myself last night. I met another girl in a group that I went out with last night. She was a bit larger than me. She was a bit rude when she overheard me telling my husband that I needed to get back on track and starting following my food plan to a T now that the holidays are winding down. I wasn't even talking to her. I was talking to my husband. I found it a bit interesting how she reacted but remained friendly and polite. Meanwhile, she came to the bar that we were at with some kind of medical device hooked up to her that fed medicine into her arm and said it was for her liver since she is apparently having issues with her liver when someone else noticed it and inquired out of concern for her but yet she was drinking quite a bit last night. It didn't make sense to say the least. I would have thought if you were having liver issues the last thing you would want to do is drink. But each to their own! You can only make your own decisions and choices when you are ready to do things.
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:52 PM   #22  
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Great job letting the situation blow over. It sounds like she may be more of an acquaintance with mutual friends rather than a true friend of yours. If she hadn't seen you for a while she was probably counting on not being the largest person in the room. Maybe that was her "aha" moment and she'll be inspired to follow in your footsteps.
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Old 01-02-2011, 11:40 PM   #23  
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I think you handled it in a very good way.

I've been kind of going through a similar thing, I have a co-worker that just keeps riding me about my new weight loss journey and I haven't really been too open about it, but its hard to bit my tongue when she talks about it because it's like, I'm not just losing weight by doing nothing...I'm actually working at it.
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Old 01-03-2011, 02:10 AM   #24  
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For me this is kind of the dark size of "body size positivity", and it held ME back for very long. Yes, in one sense it's good to encourage people to feel OK with themselves at any size. But in some cases that turns into being down on people who decide they want to change themselves. I had to give up on one of the feminist-themed websites I followed because every time the subject of dieting or losing weight came up, it was never EVER seen as possibly trying to be healthy, instead it was either pathologically depriving yourself because of some mental issue, or buying in to conformist patriarchal conspiracies. Once in a while a commenter would suggest the site might consider hiring a writer who actually engaged in physical activity for fun or talked about vegetables as if they were a tasty part of a healthy diet. I might start reading again if they did that.

Last edited by bronzeager; 01-03-2011 at 02:17 AM.
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