This is a bit hard for me to type, but I am so in need of some advice or just understanding...
I have a wonderful, loving relationship except in one aspect - my weight. I lost about forty pounds last year and it was great. 'Ahem' was happening more than ever! But then I started having gallstone attacks (this is what happens when you lose too rapidly) and had my gallbladder removed by emergency surgery Jan. 2010.
Recovery from surgery, a really rough time with depression, moving house (after living with the stress of living next to criminals), a long winter (I have SADD) and being ill all added up to me gaining all the weight back. Down to the exact pound where I started losing last year.
I'm back on track and losing again, but having had me at 220, having me back around 260 (currently) means... Well... "Ahem" just isn't happening. There have been excuses, but I finally got straight to the point and he admitted that while he loves the me he sees inside, the outside just... isn't appealing.
Now, I think I have been handling that news well. I sort of saw it coming - even though that didn't seem to soften the blow any - so I knew I had to get back on track. And I am. But in the interim... I'm having a hard time keeping my emotions about that 'news' in check as well as feeling upset about the lack of the intimacy that comes with 'ahem'.
So what I'm getting around to is: Has anyone had their weight influence their relationship? What do you do? How do you cope? How do you even deal with the emotional burden of having heard that from your partner?
Like I said, I think I'm dealing rather well with it, but in the back of my mind there is that niggle, that little voice reminding me...
Help?