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Old 11-19-2010, 08:23 AM   #1
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Default New - I need support!

Hello everyone!! I'm getting into the weight loss game...yet again!! I spent the last year trying to lose weight for my wedding November 6th. I managed to lose 5 lbs over the entire year of yo-yo dieting back and forth between 15 lbs up 15 lbs down. Net loss = 5. After I returned from my honeymoon I was even again. I am so disappointed in myself. I couldn't even get it together for this big event with a year to prepare for it. Now i look at half of my wedding photos with complete disappointment. Was it the happiest day of my life? Yes. Did I feel as confident as I could have? No. Since I started dating my husband I have gained 50 lbs. He doesn't mind and thinks I look beautiful but I am disgusted with myself and never really feel confident. Now nothing against my husband but he's not exactly the most supportive when it comes to weight loss. Maybe he's starting to feel like my weight loss efforts never work anyway so why try? I just can't have someone suggest burger king to me as a dinner option every time I don't want to cook. Anyway, I need help. Does anyone have any ideas that have worked for them. I'm tired of feeling this way and I'm sure i can;t be the only one who;s gone through this.

Thank you!!!
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Old 11-19-2010, 08:36 AM   #2
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Congratulations on your wedding - I'm sure you looked beautiful. I am an exceptional yo-yo dieter myself. When I do brief mental calculations, I'll bet I've gained and lost 600 pounds over the years. For most of my adult life, I have been battling with the same 20-30 pounds over and over, and it's not getting any easier as I get older
Everyone says we need a plan, and we need to stick with it. Do you count calories or follow a specific diet? For myself, tracking everything I eat has always worked (when I'm not too lazy to write it down, and when I do it, it does work). I also find that eating a lower carb diet really helps. When I throw in processed carbs and sugar, my cravings go out of control. I would write down what your daily plans are for the day (Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks), and don't let hubby convince you that Burger King is alright.
Exercise is also very important. The endorphins and seratonin and dopamine that are released when we exercise not only make us feel better but also help keep cravings in check. I think a lot of us try to overexercise - more is not necessarily better, but we should try for 30 minutes six day per week. Oh, and not just cardio - weight train 2-3 days per week.
I have a hubby who isn't very supportive, either. He is a very dedicated weightlifter, and has mastered the art of mindful eating. I cannot do that - once I eat a piece of candy, my day is blown. After our many years together, I feel he has given up hope on my ability to ever permanently succeed.
But, I know we can do it! We are works in progress, but with persistance, we can succeed!
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Old 11-19-2010, 11:19 AM   #3
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So you're wanting him to help you cook? Perhaps you could directly ask him to so he wouldn't suggest Burger King. Doing it together might make it enjoyable.

Have you ever heard of "Once a Month Cooking"? It involves planning a major cooking day once a month, on which you assemble meals for the whole month. You freeze these and it can make the rest of your month a breeze. It also saves most people significant $$ in the grocery store. You can even do this with a friend and share the prepped dinners. Planning ahead helps us keep ON PLAN.

Started this journey Aug 2010

Every step I take makes me more healthy and more happy!
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Old 11-19-2010, 11:29 AM   #4
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Tell your husband that you want to lose weight for health reasons. It is not all vanity ! Remind himm that obesity can bring on high blood pressure, diabetes and other things that we prefer not to have.
Goal 12/21/2007
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Old 11-20-2010, 12:10 AM   #5
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My boyfriend felt the same way!

I "tried" to lose weight so many times and it didn't work that after a while, he didn't support me because he knew I would be off the wagon at the slightest suggestion to eat fast food or whatever.

A year ago, I became committed to losing weight and he didn't believe me (for him, nothing had changed). But I was really committed this time and I had to learn to say no and to insist that I was going to cook at home and I was going to eat healthy even if he wasn't going to eat healthy.

Sure, it now means that he's going to eat something else that I will (because he doesn't always eat what I do) but I don't care about that anymore. My health/body matters a lot more.

Over time, he's become supportive and has said to me already twice (different times this year) that he didn't think I was serious but that he sees how serious I am (I will turn down going out with him if it interferes with my exercise or I will eat my own food with or without him).

I think you need to be serious about weight loss for yourself, even if it makes him uncomfortable that you're saying no to his suggestions to go out to eat a restaurant or to eat this or that at home or to watch a movie instead of going to the gym.
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Old 11-20-2010, 09:56 AM   #6
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thanks everyone!! it's so nice to see that others have had the same issues that i have! the once a month cooking is a greatidea! i will definitely be doing that. i used to live in the gym when i was in college and now it's just a matter of fitting it into my schedule. i just find myself so tired all of the time. (which i'm sure is caused by being inactive. it's a very interesting cycle isn't it!) i'm going to have to be the one in the house who keeps myself in line. he is very capable of making his own meals and i should make that known. ok. i feel a lot better. thank you everyone!!!
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