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Has anyone had many failed attempts before succeeding?

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Old 11-16-2010, 03:55 AM   #1
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Default Has anyone had many failed attempts before succeeding?

Me *again*!!



Ok - I have joined a gym, am starting a 'weight management' course tomorrow night, but I have such a low opinion of myself in terms of my past efforts, I just wonder if I'm ever going to get there..!!

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Old 11-16-2010, 04:04 AM   #2
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Yes.
I made lots of failed attempts before I lost well by end 2004. Even that success did not stick though. I've made lots more failed attempts since. I'm fairly pleased with how things are going at the minute - but well aware it could be another failed attempt unless I b. concentrate.
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Old 11-16-2010, 04:25 AM   #3
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Yes, I have failed once and again... and then some more. Although I donīt like to think of them as failures, because everytime I got sidetracked I learned something. I think itīs part of the process of getting to truly know myself and how I can finally succeed.

The way I see it, itīs a marathon, not a sprint, and I know Iīll cross the finish line. And you can too !!!
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Old 11-16-2010, 05:47 AM   #4
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I had over 20 years of failed, half hearted attempts.

Luckily, you get as many chances as you need at this.

Your past history means nothing, nothing. It's what you do TODAY that counts and thereafter.

A few quotes come to mind:

Your past does not equal, not dictate your future.

The surest way not to fail is to be determined to succeed.

If you want what you do not have, you must do what you have not done.

The definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results.

Those last two mean, that you will have to do something different if you want this time to be different.

For me, I wasn't successful, till I made the absolute decision to do this, *this time*, once and for all, no matter what and permanently. It's bears repeating - I wasn't successful till I DECIDED to be - once and for all, no matter what and permanently.

You must look at those failed attempts and see what made them failures.

Thing(s) I did differently, the things I did to set myself up for success:

- I banned many food items. Moderation doesn't work for me. I tried it that way for decades with disastrous results. I had a hard time stopping to eat many foods once I started; my solution - don't start. Problem solved - 165 pounds shed.

- I had zero portion control. My solution? Find something that FORCES me to set limits and tell me when to stop eating. Enter calorie counting. It's built in accountability and forced portion control. Problem solved - 165 pounds shed.

- I hate to be hungry. My solution? Eat frequently and eat very, very satiating foods. Problem solved - 165 pounds shed.

-I hate boring, tasteless foods. My solution? Eat mouth watering, delicious foods. Healthy, lower calorie ones. Which is why I do lots of cooking. Problem solved - 165 pounds shed.

A few other things. And this is probably the biggest one - ALWAYS BE PREPARED. ALWAYS. Plan out your foods in advance, knowing where every bite, lick, taste, crumb, dollop, sip and morsel is coming from - ahead of time. Plan, plan and plan some more. Eating healthy won't happen on it's own. It's got to be set out for, planned for and prepared for. Like any other thing that's vital and matters.

Be sure to be excited about these changes, not dread them. Don't fear and loathe the changes that have to occur, fear and loathe NOT doing them and remaining overweight. Get excited about eating well. Become passionate about it. Focus on what you will be gaining, not passing up on. That was a big difference for me *this time*. I was done being fat and looked for the joy in this process, not the dread. I made this a top priority. A tippy top priority. I made it my job, my mission. And for me to NOT do this, was no longer an option.

Losing weight and lots of it is a doable thing, for every one and any one yourself included. We all have the ability, we are all capable of it. You just must DECIDE to do it, commit to doing and be willing to do what's necessary and required to MAKE it happen. The biggest part - working past that initial discomfort as you incorporate the new habits and let the old ones die down. So you must, must, must work past that discomfort.

So, how will you be doing it differently this time? How will you be setting yourself up for success?
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Old 11-16-2010, 06:53 AM   #5
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Yes it took me nearly 30 years of trying before I finally found long lasting success (if maintaining a 120lb loss for over a year can be counted as long lasting). As others have said I learned from my previous 'mistakes' and on similar lines to Robin I determined what did and did not work for me. I decide that I would not eat 'diet foods' that I did not like, just because I was losing weight - so I haven't eaten a single slice of Ryvita with cottage cheese (yuck!) in many years. I also got to that place in my life when I knew that 'short-termism' wasn't going to work. I have a weight problem that means I need to be vigilant for the rest of my life - that's never going to go away as my repeated yo-yoing weight has shown. Just because I've lost 120lbs does not mean that I don't still have a weight problem just in the way that an abstinent alcohol always has a drink problem. I think I've come to accept the fact about myself that losing weight does not 'cure' obesity but constant vigilance can.

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Old 11-16-2010, 06:56 AM   #6
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I was either on a diet or feeling guilty about not being on a diet from the age of 13 to 32. I wish I could have figured it out earlier, but I'm awfully glad that I figured it out finally!

Robin's advice is excellent, but in one little area my experience was almost the opposite of Robin's--I had too much macho bulls*** in my system, and never tried anything moderately: 1200 calories/day, no exceptions, no matter how young or heavy I was. Didn't exercise because if I couldn't go for an hour straight, there was no point in going at all. I didn't look into how my PCOS might be affecting my weight loss, because that was 'looking for excuses like a wimp". I didn't think about eating FILLING foods because I shouldn't have to, I should be tough enough to Just Not Eat. In retrospect, I think I thought dieting was penance and I needed to suffer to pay for being a disgusting, shameful fatty. So I tried to pack all the suffering in as tightly as possible, so as to get it over in a hurry. And then I'd break--which meant I needed to suffer more the next time, to pay for that.

This time, I've been more moderate. I started at like 2500 calories a day, and I've discovered I can lose on an average of 1900 a day--even at 165 pounds--if I exercise an hour a day. I can lose quickly on 1600 a day. I exercised just 5 minutes at a time--all I could do--but I did it twice a day, every day, and I cranked it up every few weeks. I learned it was about sustainability, not in being tougher than anyone else. Suffering doesn't burn calories.
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Old 11-16-2010, 08:20 AM   #7
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Aw, I don't think this is anyone's first-ever attempt at losing weight! I have had plenty of failed attempts and accidental losses. The difference between those times and this time is that I have completely overhauled my lifestyle this time. I don't force raw carrots and lettuce (two things I hate) down my gullet and spend all day feeling deprived; instead I eat things I like while keeping track of nutrients and calories.
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Old 11-16-2010, 08:30 AM   #8
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Isn't it wonderful that God each day provides us with an opportunity to "begin again" when so often we need that opportunity?

Keep trying, eventually you will succeed.
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Old 11-16-2010, 08:53 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shmead View Post
This time, I've been more moderate. I started at like 2500 calories a day, and I've discovered I can lose on an average of 1900 a day--even at 165 pounds--if I exercise an hour a day. I can lose quickly on 1600 a day. I exercised just 5 minutes at a time--all I could do--but I did it twice a day, every day, and I cranked it up every few weeks. I learned it was about sustainability, not in being tougher than anyone else. Suffering doesn't burn calories.
Jealousy seeping from every core. Darn these 1000 calories a day crapola. *sigh*

Anyway...yes, I've failed numerous times. I think most of us have. Finally something clicks though. For me it was this site that did it. I read the quote "A year from now you'll be glad you started today" and my success snowballed from there. To fix all my problems I simply needed to learn patience above all else. I needed to make a commitment to being on plan no matter what. Giving up in the face of SLOW success could not be an option, because success is success no matter the speed.
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Old 11-16-2010, 10:33 AM   #10
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How about nearly every week of my life age 15-30? And those years I was around the weight I am now. Then I gained 100 lbs the year I turned 30 and basically gave up on the idea of weight loss, figuring if I could never take off the 20-25 lbs I wanted, taking off over 100 wasn't even worth the effort. Oh a few times I managed to take off @30 lbs over a year and put them back over the next 3 years, but it wasn't until age 49.5 that I decided to design my own plan based on my known strengths and weaknesses and tackled this project. Some days I wish I'd done it sooner, but not sure that I had the experience with myself I needed until now.
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Old 11-16-2010, 10:37 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caryesings View Post
How about nearly every week of my life age 15-30? And those years I was around the weight I am now. Then I gained 100 lbs the year I turned 30 and basically gave up on the idea of weight loss, figuring if I could never take off the 20-25 lbs I wanted, taking off over 100 wasn't even worth the effort. Oh a few times I managed to take off @30 lbs over a year and put them back over the next 3 years, but it wasn't until age 49.5 that I decided to design my own plan based on my known strengths and weaknesses and tackled this project. Some days I wish I'd done it sooner, but not sure that I had the experience with myself I needed until now.
Yeah, where is that line? LOL! It's horrible to be 20 pounds over weight but between 20 and 100 pounds overweight is somehow ok? I was kind of like that. Not exactly...I fought it every step of the way. But being 20 pounds overweight felt no different than 100 did, mentally.
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Old 11-16-2010, 11:41 AM   #12
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I'm 44 and have been dieting since age 5. I've got over three decades of failure under my belt.

And it's not even a matter of effort. I'm losing weight with far less effort than I've ever used before. When I channeled every ounce of energy into weight loss, it was far too emotionally draining. I essentially removed all good things from my life so that I could devote everything to weight loss. When the weight loss stalled (as it tends to do) all I could see was that I had nothing good in my life. I'd feel like a failure, not for failing, but for not succeeding fast enough.

This time, I decided to diet "backwards" from the way I was taught. Instead of aiming full-speed-ahead at some weight loss goal (and putting off thoughts of how I would maintain until I reached my goal), I decided to focus on adding things to my life (rather than take away), and making positive changes I could commit to even if they resulted in no weight loss at all (and at first the results weren't in weight loss, but in increased strength and stamina).

For me, it was about making it more than just about the numbers. How much weight, how quickly. I can't make it a race, or I feel like I'm losing the battle. I can't let the effort overshadow the results. Ironically, I had to learn to work less at weight loss, because when I put all my energy into it, I just feel sucked dry. When I have nothing in my life but weight loss, the weight loss is never enough.

I know some people have the opposite experience, but for me it wasn't about learning to work harder, it was about learning to work smarter - finding the changes that didn't remove all the other good things in my life.
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Old 11-16-2010, 12:11 PM   #13
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See my signature. It's tongue-in-cheek - but it reminds me, as Robin noted, that I have to do something different this time or I'll wind up in the same place - which is, gaining it all back, plus interest.
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Old 11-16-2010, 12:35 PM   #14
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Ha! I have 'failed' so many times I can't even count!! But I don't really think of them in terms of failures anymore. To be honest, I 'mess up' at least once a week, but I get over it. I get over it and I get back on the plan.

I stopped looking at my missteps as failures, because 'failure' (in my mind) is so final. Messing up once in a while is not final! Not when you get over it and keep moving on with your life. 'Failure' means its the end. This whole thing is a process, a moving, living process. Sometimes you will have mistakes, but what matters in the long run--what WORKS in the long run--is when you keep going. You mess up, you realize it, you fix it, and you move on.

Be strong! :-)
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Old 11-16-2010, 01:04 PM   #15
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I'm 22 and have wanted to lose weight since I was, ohhh, maybe 10. When I realized that I was chunkier than the other girls and actually started to care.

The first time I remember actively trying to lose weight was when I first got to boarding school across the country from my family as a 14yo. I saw it as a new beginning. I *literally* decided to become anorexic. As in I consciously decided to begin an eating disorder, lol. It lasted about two days and I got hungry and ate all my roommates Goldfish crackers.

I had a few laughable attempts after that. One day, after stumbling upon a raw food blog, I decided that I needed to be a raw foodist. I spent $100 on raw vegetables and fruits, ate it for a few days, said "screw this" and binged on fast food stuff and all my veggies went bad. I think I tried to be anorexic again. Tried only eating salad. All liquid diets. Etc. Silly stupid things. I didn't even follow "fad diets," I just tried nonsense.

I don't get it. I hate to toot my own horn, but I'm an intelligent person with a knack for understanding science. I went to an elite prep school and I'm about to graduate in the top 5% of my class in college with a biological science degree. I've taken the nutrition classes, organic chem, biochem, physiology, anatomy, etc. I KNOW how the body works and how it processes food. I know the exact process of how one gains, loses, or maintains weight down to the biochemical pathways of food digestion and metabolism. So why couldn't I figure out that losing and then maintaining weight was as simple as controlling calories?? Why did I wonder why I couldn't lose weight?? Why did I try such ridiculous things??

Oh well, I am glad I finally figured it out, hehe.
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