I don't know if this is going to help, but I just need someone to listen and need some advice on getting motivated. I've been overweight since I was 5 and now I'm 19. There is so much stuff I thought I would have done by now, and I've sat out on life and haven't done a single thing that I want to. If I was thin, I would have been a dancer, learned to figure skate, and took karate, and done so many other things I dream of doing.
Now I leave the house 2 times a month tops and those 2 times are usually just riding with my mom to the store and waiting in the car while she goes in. I have no friends and have lost contact with the few I had from school. It's just so pathetic. There aren't many jobs around here and I feel like no one wants to hire the fat person anyway, especially since I don't have a degree or much job experience. I keep putting off college because being around people makes me feel sick. I dreamed of going to University but at my weight I would have been miserable at university. I know if I lose weight I will gain confidence and be more eager to get out and live my life, but I have no will to do anything, including lose weight. I keep dieting every couple months but I discouraged because the weight comes off so slow. My weight has ballooned up so much that I feel there's no turning back and I'm past the point of no return. I just keep making it worse.
I can barely wake-up in the morning because there is nothing to wake up for. Feeling like this makes it even harder to lose weight. I have tried really hard. It feels like I've been dieting my whole life because I'm always trying, but keep failing! I want to lose it more then anything and it's on my mind all the time. It's not that I dont want it and I've had plenty of wake-up calls. So why can't I do it? I can't afford to go to the doctor at all to talk to a nutrionist or pills.
I have a treadmill downstairs but cant get motivated to use it. My mom is obese too but refuses to buy anything healthy, no matter how often I ask her to. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to get motivated? If you read this while thing, thank you so much and I'm sorry it's so long. I'm just so desperate and I don't know what to do anymore.