Here is a little background...I have been working as a contract employee doing customer service for a major appliance manufacturer for the last two years. Earlier this year, the company announced that they were going to start converting some of the contractors and making them actual employees. You have to apply and be interviewed to get one of those spots. Whether or not you get an interview depends on your "scorecard". Only the applicants with high scorecards will get the chance. I have always had a 98 or 99% score. I have a fabulous attendance record and produce more "output" then the rest of my team.
The first time I applied, there were ten open spots. I did not get it. I was hurt and sad especially when my best work buddy got in. This time around, rumor has it there were 40-50 spots open and they were only interviewing about 60 people. Well, I found out Monday that I didn't get it this time either. Apparently, I don't interview well. I have run the gamut of emotions. I am mad, sad, embarrassed and feel like a loser. Pretty much everyone else around me will be hired in soon.
After I heard on Monday, I left work and started baking. I ate a few muffins and some apple bread. I felt mentally and physically sick that I had done it but since I never ate dinner, it kinda evened out. Tuesday, I went back to work and managed to do good all day. Wednesday, after eating well all day, I saw the groups of "new hires" go off to their orientation, my hubby and I went out to dinner and I ate a french dip and fries. Today, following plan all day, I thought I had it all together until I started hearing others talking about it and came home to eat pizza. Six pieces of pizza!
I don't even really chalk it up to being eating because I am sad. I am eating because counting every bite that I eat gets stressful and I am 8 months into this and right now, I can't handle anymore stress.
Thanks for reading all the way to the end. Any suggestions?