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Frustrated with myself

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Old 11-08-2010, 09:14 PM   #1
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Unhappy Frustrated with myself

I am 21 years old and I have had weight problems my entire life. When I turned 18 I decided I would make a change and I lost a lot of weight in only a few months (lost around 50lbs). I met my current boyfriend shortly after and as soon as we started dating, and we started going to dinner and movies, the weight slowly came back. I am now back to square one and find it sooo much harder to lose weight. My downfall is the eating for sure. I belong to a gym and go twice a day and I love it. However, my boyfriend can eat anything and doesnt put on a pound, but I cant. He is supportive but when he works late we will go to pick something up and I dont reject, so I dont want him feeling like he is sabataging me because I am not saying no. I guess the help I am asking for is when you are in a relationship with someone and your are the only one making the change how do you do it? How do you stay positive and cheat free? Any tips would be great!

Thanks - Abby
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Old 11-08-2010, 09:35 PM   #2
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There are plentiful sites online that offer healthier meals in quick and easy steps. You could totally do one of these on a night your boyfriend works late and have it ready in less than 20-30 minutes. Seriously, eating out is a major KILLER when it comes to trying to lose weight. That's not to say don't ever eat out! But remember that moderation is key. If your boyfriend typically works late and you're typically eating out the pounds will pack on! So I recommend planning out some simple, healthier choices for dinners before hand and hopefully this will help lessen the trips out to fastfood or takeout :]
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Old 11-08-2010, 09:43 PM   #3
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I have a husband that eats NOTHING but greasy fast food. I know how hard it is to live with someone who can... or does... eat anything they want while you are trying your hardest.

For me.. I have to separate myself. I don't eat the same meal he eats. If we eat together... I have my meal... he has his. I tell myself mine is every bit as yummy as his and mine has so many benefits. Also... keep reminding yourself that no food tastes as good as healthy / skinny feels.

Good luck to you!
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Old 11-08-2010, 10:13 PM   #4
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I'm in the same boat.

I simply eat different. I make my own meals. If he wants to share with me, sure, I'll make enough for him too. But he doesn't (for the most part) so he just gets his own food.

I had to learn to say NO. I had to start teaching him that food did not equal love and we can eat differently together and still love one another! It took a year or so, but now he supports me entirely and I've learned to say no and focus on my own food plan.
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Old 11-08-2010, 10:29 PM   #5
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What about simply telling him, that although you enjoy sharing a meal with him, the food is not good for you. Nothing personal, but you will eat a healthy meal at an appropriate time and save a few calories or what ever and have a salad, or bowl of cereal or yogurt while he eats.

Or maybe after he eats, make plans to something non food related, a bath together, or play a game or take a walk, or give each other a massage or what ever works for you.
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Old 11-08-2010, 11:02 PM   #6
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My husband sounds like your boyfriend! Eats whatever he wants and doesn't gain a pound!

I separate our meals. I eat mine, he eats his. I usually make enough for two servings, he takes the remaining for lunch the next day. It can certainly be difficult and tiresome making their meals and ours!

Recently, I've been trying out healthy recipes that we both can have (he might eat two portions). That seems to be working well. And honestly, I think I'm rubbing off on him (or so I'd like to think! ). He surely doesn't need to lose weight, but I notice he's making better choices.
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Old 11-10-2010, 09:36 AM   #7
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Thanks Ladies for the tips. Last night we did go out but instead of a burger and fries, which I usually order, I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich (didnt eat the bun) with a side of steamed veggies. He ended up feeling bad for eating his big burger and fries and said mine looked much more satisfying. Hmmm, maybe I can get him to do this with me... I know what I need to do and I just need to do it! Ready to get back on track and make this lifestyle change!
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LONG TERM GOAL


Starting/Current
Measurements
Waist: 39.5"/ 36"
Thighs: 26.5"/ 25"
Hips: 48"/ 47"
Calf: 16.5"/ 16"
Biceps: 14"/ 13"
Forearms: 11"/ 10.5"
Bust: 36"/ 34.5"
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Old 11-10-2010, 09:42 AM   #8
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Like everyone else, I usually make my own meals. I ask in advance what's for dinner, if it isn't something I think I can handle, I make myself something. Or I'll eat the dinner, but a lot less than I normally would, and fill up on a glass of water and a big salad or some carrot sticks or something.

It gets less awkward as time goes on.
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Old 11-10-2010, 11:22 AM   #9
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If you really want to go out to eat, perhaps you guys could compromise by choosing only restaurants with nutritional information available - that way you could pick your meals ahead of time and be "armed" with the information before you go.
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Old 11-10-2010, 11:49 AM   #10
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If he is working late - what do you do? Could you maybe say: "honey, no need to pick up fast food tonight, I am going to try cooking a special recipe for you." Light some candles. Have a glass of wine. Cook something healthy. You will both feel like it is somehing "special" but it won't be high calorie resturant food.

I feel you pain though - I gained a lot of weight when I moved in with my hubby (fiance at the time). We went out to eat every weekend - at least once. At least once, usualy twice to the movies (movies = snacks and soda). And LOTS of drinking. I wish I had learned then how to have fun with out eating out/spending lots of money! I have a new goal now of trying out a new recipe or new veggie each week. This week, I am trying Brussel Sprouts. Last week it was Butternut Squash Soup (which came out AMAZING).
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