I've had a bad problem with hypochondria for a while now. If I'm not obsessively dreading one thing being wrong with me, it's another. For the longest time I was so sure I had/would get diabetes because of my weight. That's been pushed out of my mind though by my efforts to lose weight.
Does anyone ever secretly worry that maybe they're starving their body of nutrients and vitamins and not realising it? I eat about 5-6 small meals a day, I exercise, I try to get in veggies and have gone low carb- but for some reason I'm really afraid I'm damaging my heart. I don't know why. Another thing I worry about is my bloodsugar being too low for too long (yesterday evening I was in the 80s and had to get it into the 100s before I could fall asleep because I was sort of nervous.)
Currently I eat 1,231 calories a day (to lose 2lb per week). Once I get to 169 I was planning on changing them around so it would only be enough calories to lose 1lb per week, just because I like what's happening but I don't want to hurt myself.
At 1,231 calories a day, am I really starving myself? I sort of feel a little tired, but that could be because I've been waking up early and going to bed early for once in my life and I'm not used to the schedule yet, you know?
I don't have diabetes, it doesn't run in our family, but I used to have episodes of hypoglycemia (when I wouldn't eat for 4-8 hours when I was working.), and they kind of freaked me out. So now I check my blood sugar before bed because I'm afraid I'll lapse into a coma or something.
Since I'm an obsessive person, do you think maybe I'm anxious about the weightloss, since I've never gotten this far, and am maybe subconsciously trying to sabatougue myself?
I know I need to go see someone but I'm uninsured and a huge procrastinator lol... so I guess I'm just venting/complaining
I have the same problem as you - I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I don't have any compulsions (counting, cleaning, ect) but I have obesession and it centers around my health. But never anything relevant - like my weight, will I get diabetes, high BP. No - its stupid stuff like did I just get AIDS from a toilet seat or do I have bird flu. (They say I also have a disease phobia). I can laugh when I am ok, but when I am not its no fun - sheer panic overe the thought I will die from whatever the diesase of the month is. I was going to have gastric bypass but didn't because I knew I would be the 1% person who died. Thats how bad it is. It did galvanize me into being healthier last October but I have been seriously slacking off.
I have the same problem as you - I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I don't have any compulsions (counting, cleaning, ect) but I have obesession and it centers around my health. But never anything relevant - like my weight, will I get diabetes, high BP. No - its stupid stuff like did I just get AIDS from a toilet seat or do I have bird flu. (They say I also have a disease phobia). I can laugh when I am ok, but when I am not its no fun - sheer panic overe the thought I will die from whatever the diesase of the month is. I was going to have gastric bypass but didn't because I knew I would be the 1% person who died. Thats how bad it is. It did galvanize me into being healthier last October but I have been seriously slacking off.
I can relate, believe me! I have to get dental work done and refuse to be put to sleep for fear that I won't wake up. So I have to be wide awake and numb...
I can relate, believe me! I have to get dental work done and refuse to be put to sleep for fear that I won't wake up. So I have to be wide awake and numb...
Dude I used to not even get the Novacain
when I was a kid!
I do now though.
Yeah I had to have an ovary out in January and
the whole recovery room was laughing becuase
they were trying to wake me up and I was under a
bright light and I said "oh crap..... did I die....are you here Gram?".
Because I was totally convinced that yes I would die. And
that the ovary had cancer, ect ect ect. I was fine lol.
Odonnela, it's rare to meet someone who knows the difference between compulsions and obsessions, even those who have OCD! My husband has the obsessions and it's so difficult because you can't SEE it. It's all in his head. I feel for you. Most people have the more traditional OCD.
yhahmd, I think you could be self-sabotaging. Maybe. I just listen to my body. I feel better every day, not worse. If that ever changed I'd know I needed to do something about it. Early on, I felt worse for a few months while my body adjusted to the new level of calories it was allowed. I was lethargic. I made sure to take a multi-vitamin. At the time, I was eating processed foods like Slim Fast, protein bars and Lean Cuisine. I have since switched to a very "clean" diet with very, very little processed crap and now I feel amazing. No, I don't worry that I'm getting my nutrients because my diet is made up almost entirely of lean meats, fruits and vegetables. We absorb nutrients better through food than through pills.
I worry a bit about blood sugar because I still have tendencies toward roller coaster like blood sugar. But I know what it feels like to dip too low, and then I just eat something, usually a protein and a complex carb.
Everything I'm doing is FOR good health. Eating too much, eating cookies and candies, being sedentary...that's what you should worry about.
Dude I used to not even get the Novacain
when I was a kid!
I do now though.
Yeah I had to have an ovary out in January and
the whole recovery room was laughing becuase
they were trying to wake me up and I was under a
bright light and I said "oh crap..... did I die....are you here Gram?".
Because I was totally convinced that yes I would die. And
that the ovary had cancer, ect ect ect. I was fine lol.
Wow. I don't think I could go in for surgery willingly lol. Kicking and screaming, maybe. We're two peas in a pod! Lol I get sinus headaches/infections regularly, I just happened upon an article today where it said "be careful, blah blah blah, it could be meningitis!" And I went thinking I had meningitis, even though I've had these headaches/infections for ages and if it was meningitis I'm sure I'd be dead by now lol.
I have OCD that manifests itself as almost "pure O" and I definitely focus on health related issues. Cancer, liver failure, heart failure, etc. You name it, I've worried about it, was certain I had it, sent myself into a complete meltdown about it.
I'll admit that it got so bad that I finally had to go on medication to help get it under control because the obsessive thoughts had just taken over my life.
The only thing I can suggest is to try to distract yourself and don't give into the compulsion to check and double check (easier said than done, I know).
Wow. I don't think I could go in for surgery willingly lol. Kicking and screaming, maybe. We're two peas in a pod! Lol I get sinus headaches/infections regularly, I just happened upon an article today where it said "be careful, blah blah blah, it could be meningitis!" And I went thinking I had meningitis, even though I've had these headaches/infections for ages and if it was meningitis I'm sure I'd be dead by now lol.
I've had meningitis like 5 times - you'll be fine.
(Thats a joke by the way - any time I get a stiff neck its meningitis).
@Eliana - sometimes I think if I had compulsions it would be better - people
do the compulsions to make the anxiety of the obsessions get better.
I do take Prozac and 99% of the time I am just like any normal other person
but when its bad - oh is it bad.
I should try the clean eating - I eat WAY TOO MUCH processed foods. I have a vicious bread addiction and if I cut out the "whites" and processed foods maybe I can get a handle on it. I've been out of control lately.
Having been in thereapy for years for the OCD I've learned a lot about myself, since the OCD has been good we talk about food since my therapist is actually an addiction speacialist as well. So I know that the simple carbs will set me off. Give me a bagel, muffin, something like that and I am all done...I will eat and eat and eat. I'm thinking of doing just protein shakes for a few days to maybe "clean out the carbs".
I really worried alot about getting enough of this and that vitamin especially when i was pregnant and nursing. for me this just leads to over eating. fit day breaks down what you eat into lots of fun charts. carbs/protein/fat, vitamins, cal/activity balance. looking at that, lots of days i'm eating way more fruit/veggies than i need. more vitamins than i need.
I have OCD that manifests itself as almost "pure O" and I definitely focus on health related issues. Cancer, liver failure, heart failure, etc. You name it, I've worried about it, was certain I had it, sent myself into a complete meltdown about it.
I'll admit that it got so bad that I finally had to go on medication to help get it under control because the obsessive thoughts had just taken over my life.
The only thing I can suggest is to try to distract yourself and don't give into the compulsion to check and double check (easier said than done, I know).
YES! I know exactly what you mean. I take 3 different things but I function like a normal person 99% of the time so its worth it. I took Paxil for years and it makes you really sluggish and you can't lose a pound to save your life. I switched to Prozac last year and I can actually lose now (if I stick to it) and I don't fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I've had almost every disease as well...I seem to have a particular fear over aids and hepatitis.....maybe because I worked in healthcare for a brief time. The thing that kills me is why do I not obsess about the weight, or the fact that I used to smoke, or all the crap I used to eat. Things that could actually harm me. I did quit smoking 2 years ago but it was not because of OCD it was because I was sick of the smell and the cost and it was just getting gross. Not becuase I thought I could die from it. But I'd worry about the bird flu while I was smoking a butt. Go figure - its so darn irrational. But it is SO cool to meet some other people who are actually like me!! Do you find that you crave carbs/starches a lot? Like candy, breads, sweets ect? I definately do and it is related to the OCD, it realeases some kind of feel good chemical in your brain. Has not stopped my bingeing but at least I know. I would say hey pm me if you ever want to talk because I have been dealing with this for years - but I can't seem to do pm's - maybe I need to be a member for longer and then I can.
Ok I have to start getting some work done now LOL - I will check back later. Another thing with OCD is lack of focus! I am SO easily distracted and a time waster. I'll go online to check one thing and then its 20 minutes later.....
I feel the same way. I was laying in bed last night thinking about whether or not I was putting too much strain on my heart and how I am not getting near enough nutrients now that I have cut back on my calories. But then I think about Survivor or people with weight loss surgery and I think, well, if they can handle it, I can to. But honestly I still worry about it.
Gosh, this post resonates with me, too. I've had periods in my life where I am obsessed with the idea that I have something seriously wrong with my heart. Back in the mid-90s, I was so sure my heart was going to stop I took my pulse about 500 times a day, and had a whole scenario I would play out in my mind constantly, like "this is the day. Here I am at work, I'm going to collapse, they're going to call the squad, the whole office will be watching while they haul me out". Too bad I wasn't apparently scared enough to stop stuffing my face with Big Macs in between cigarettes while I lay on the couch all day watching TV! My doc at the time told me to chill out, take Paxil, and get some therapy. I did take Paxil for several years, and it went away, so I quit therapy and went on my merry way. It came back a few years later and I had a new doc who sent me thru the battery of cardiac tests, and I ended up back on Paxil. Voila, it went away again!
Okay, so Paxil makes it go away, it's obviously anxiety/obsessive thoughts, right? But recently I started going through the exact same thing AGAIN, and even though I knew rationally it was the anxiety rearing it's head again, I STILL was sure I was having about 20 heart attacks a day. EVIL!!! I have yet another doc now, and though she said she prescribes meds all day long, she would hate to introduce something that would stall or derail my weight-related progress. So she has signed me up for a cognitive behavioral therapy boot camp, and I'm optimistic that I may really address it this time instead of just making it go away with Paxil. I am 100% down with going on something if necessary, but I'm going to try it this way first -- and so far, even though I'm not far into the program, it started to go away on its own just by signing up!
Sorry to make this so long, but I DO know how you feel, exactly! And I'm sure the vitamin situation in your body is just fine.
Edit -- Oh yeah, I forgot to say that my theory on why this is coming back on me right now is because I am not getting those "feel good chemicals" from food that I used to allow myself liberally. I think I really was medicating myself with food, and now that I'm not allowing myself that coping mechanism, here it all comes flooding back. SO interesting to think about!
YES! I know exactly what you mean. I take 3 different things but I function like a normal person 99% of the time so its worth it. I took Paxil for years and it makes you really sluggish and you can't lose a pound to save your life. I switched to Prozac last year and I can actually lose now (if I stick to it) and I don't fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I've had almost every disease as well...I seem to have a particular fear over aids and hepatitis.....maybe because I worked in healthcare for a brief time. The thing that kills me is why do I not obsess about the weight, or the fact that I used to smoke, or all the crap I used to eat. Things that could actually harm me. I did quit smoking 2 years ago but it was not because of OCD it was because I was sick of the smell and the cost and it was just getting gross. Not becuase I thought I could die from it. But I'd worry about the bird flu while I was smoking a butt. Go figure - its so darn irrational. But it is SO cool to meet some other people who are actually like me!! Do you find that you crave carbs/starches a lot? Like candy, breads, sweets ect? I definately do and it is related to the OCD, it realeases some kind of feel good chemical in your brain. Has not stopped my bingeing but at least I know. I would say hey pm me if you ever want to talk because I have been dealing with this for years - but I can't seem to do pm's - maybe I need to be a member for longer and then I can.
Oh my goodness! I'm currently on Paxil and it seems to be working pretty well although I definitely know the sluggish feeling you're talking about! The doctor was shocked when I'd gained weight over the last couple of years after being on it. Uh, duh, put me on a med that takes away all my nervous energy, makes me sluggish and has a side effect of weight gain. I'm not a genius but do the math here!
And YES! I'm an absolute carb junkie. Pasta, potatoes (mashed, baked, roasted...any way you got 'em, I'll eat 'em), etc. I had no idea that it could be related to the OCD.
And like you I never seemed to worry about the stuff that I could actually control on a day to day basis. Worry myself into a full on panic attack over whether or not a mole on my arm has turned into skin cancer? I'm so there. Worry about the extra couple hundred pounds I'm carrying? Not so much. That has never made any sense to me at all.
Anyway, it's so nice to see other people like me. Well, not really, I wouldn't wish this on anyone but you know what I mean.
I was worried for awhile as well that I wasn't getting all the nutrients I needed either after cutting back on my calories. You could always try using a site like Calorie Count to count not only the calories you're eating, but track all your nutrient levels to make sure they're where they need to be. Mine were, so I was worrying over nothing, perhaps you are too.
Listening to your body is most important, though. If you're still feeling tired all the time after a week or so of changing your sleeping habits, maybe look into upping the calories. It really is best to go see a professional about all this too, but I totally know how it goes when it comes to procrastinating. Half the time I have to tell somebody else to get an appointment scheduled for me because I just know that I'm not going to do it myself.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid...
Most people have the more traditional OCD.
thinking I had meningitis, even though I've had these headaches/infections for ages and if it was meningitis I'm sure I'd be dead by now lol.
