Does it bother you when someone within a healthy weight range calls themselves fat? I found myself calling myself fat in another thread, well I take that back, I said I felt fat, and it really made me cringe. It really rubs me the wrong way when people within a healthy weight range call themselves fat. And it really really bothers me when people who are my weight and height call themselves fat. I know that it's all relative and if your starting weight is my weight and you want to lose 5-30lbs or whatever then yeah, you may consider yourself fat, but it really bugs me. And I don't want to sound like oh you have less to lose than I lost so your struggle isn't as difficult as mine, because that attitude bugs me as well. Weight loss it hard - period. Whether it's 5 lbs or 50lbs it's hard and just because you have more to lose than someone else it really doesn't mean that it's any more hard for you than them, even though it probably seems like it. It may be a different kind of hard, but hard is hard.
I don't know where I'm going with this, I'm usually not one to make judgy post like this because being on all ends of the spectrum I understand that it is all relative. I'll probably hit post and wish I didn't but I'm in a fiesty mood this morning. I guess it's just a reflection of my own insecurities. How someone else labels themselves shouldn't effect my feeling about myself. I know that I look good at my weight even though it's on the high end of my "ideal range". And if someone else doesn't feel good or feels fat, then fine let them strive for better because shouldn't we all be the best version of us we can be. Who am I to say, oh you're within a healthy range you shouldn't feel fat...ok...rant over.
I try to be understanding about this, but yes, at times it bothers me. Not so much just hearing someone say something about this, or seeing posts here, but when someone who is obviously much smaller than I am complaining to me that they are fat. I think it would be like me complaining to a homeless person that my home is not big enough or nice enough.
Yes! It bugs me. And it bugs me that it bugs me! But it does...it really, really does. And I bite back those fingers on certain posts as I find it difficult to respond the way I should. It's come back to bite me in the rear occasionally as I realize my post came across as snippy. I truly never mean to be snippy.
I think it's just that there needs to be a level of sensitivity for where every one of us is along this road. Here I am 160 pounds at 5'4" feeling AMAZING! I feel thin! To hear someone of my height and weight call herself FAT (or worse, a cow or something horrible) is hurtful and makes me second guess my own success.
I prefer words like "I feel fat" or "I have fat" to the words "I AM fat."
But...that's awfully, awfully darn petty of me! I really do hate that this bothers me so much.
I'm at goal weight, sometimes I feel fat. My feelings are just as valid as anyone else's feelings. It seems easy to interpret "I feel fat" as just that "feeling fat" not necessarily "being fat."
As far as near-slender people not being allowed to feel fat, I sure wish I had concentrated my weight loss with as much vigor when I was 5-10 lbs overweight instead of waiting until I was 75 lbs overweight.
I don't take offense to it and never really have. Feeling fat is so subjective, regardless of the number on the scale and I've always just associated "I'm fat" with, "I don't feel good about myself" or "I feel fat". I've just always assumed that the statement has nothing to do with me and everything to do with how that person feels about themselves at that particular moment.
I try to take it as its meant. For me, there is a big difference between someone saying that to complain about bloating from their TOM, or talk about a 10-15lb weight gain, opposed to someone who goes "OMG! I'm so FAT! Aren't I absolutely ~disgusting~" to fish for compliments and to humiliate any overweight people around them.
It bugs me too so you are definitely not alone. A great example of this is a girl I knew in school who probably weighed 120 pounds and looked great. But she complained all the time about how fat she was. I wanted to scream "shut up!" She was in a normal range and had no room to complain. I haven't experienced anyone here at a normal weight complain about being fat yet. Hopefully I won't either. I won't say anything mean but be sure I am thinking about making a comment.
I don't really mind it too much, there are a lot of people smaller than me who think they're fat, so I just kind of deal with it. What I always hated though, was people who call other healthy weight people fat. My husbands sisters (they're teenagers) always call each other fat. One is an athlete and I'm fairly certain she doesn't even have fat cells. The other one eats like crap but has the metabolism of a hummingbird so she's still skinny, just not as toned. Still, no normal person would ever think of her as anything but skinny. Anyway, they love to call each other fat and talk about how fat each others thighs are and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, 200+ lb me is sitting there with my upper arms that are bigger around than their thighs, just feeling worthless because I must be a huge blob of disgustingness to them. That's the kind of stuff that bothers me. Of course, I still have a long way to go on my journey, so people who are at or around my weight are perfectly justified in calling themselves fat.
It doesn't bug me but I do find a reality check when I read people who're around my weight but for them it's their highest ever and they're panicking/determined to lose it, while I'm dancing in front of mirrors, convinced I'm hot.
What Does bug me is in real life, a person who knows how big I was, who knows how much I've lost, standing next to me while we queue for coffee, going "I'm SO fat, make that skimmed milk/soy milk lookatme lookatme lookatme", while being 50lbs lighter than me.
I like to think I can tell the difference between people for whom my new low is genuinely their omg high, and people who're showing off next to me ~ but I suspect I judge the show-offs in the coffee queue more harshly than they deserve.
I don't know...skinny people feel fat sometimes and I think it's OK for them to express that, even in front of overweight people.
What I don't like is hearing things like, "Wow, these size 12s are so big!" or "I never realized how big my size 18s are (now that I'm a size 10)". I'm not suggesting people (including myself) don't think these things sometimes; however; I'd gauge my audience before I express these thoughts out loud.
I saw something like that in a post and it made me feel badly for a second. Then I got over it because I remembered that we all have different goals and different desires for our bodies.
I dislike when skinny people say they are fat or that they need to lose some weight or something...because then I think "Well, if they think they are fat then they must think I'm a f-ing whale!" So it makes me feel self conscious in the conversation and I'll refuse to say "Oh, no you don't!" because sometimes they are fishing for people to say that stuff and I won't play their games.
I dislike when skinny people say they are fat or that they need to lose some weight or something...because then I think "Well, if they think they are fat then they must think I'm a f-ing whale!"
But, isn't that your own insecurity? Their perception of themselves has nothing at all to do with what they think of you, IMO.
And how skinny is too skinny to be allowed to express these feelings? What's the appropriate amount of fatness that a person should have in order to be able to express a dislike about their own body?
As a 160 pound size 10, am I allowed to say it in front of my 200 pound size 18 friend? What about my 180 pound size 14 friend? What's socially acceptable?
Before this goes much further, I just want to reiterate that I feel that no one's feeling are invalid and that my issues with this are yes, from my own insecurities.
It doesn't bug me but I do find a reality check when I read people who're around my weight but for them it's their highest ever and they're panicking/determined to lose it, while I'm dancing in front of mirrors, convinced I'm hot.
Lol this is me exactly! It does bother me somtimes, but I do try to put it into perspective realizing that everyone is different...although I do think people need to consider their audiences. I think people can express a dislike about their body but I would never, as a 187 pound person, say that I am SO FAT in front of someone who is a lot bigger than I am, as I would hope someone who is much smaller than me would refrain from saying their are so fat in my presence. To me it's just good manners, really. I'm speaking of real life relationships, posting online is a whole 'nother scenario.
Last edited by sept15lija; 10-11-2010 at 01:02 PM.
This really rubs me the wrong way...
But it does...it really, really does. And I bite back those fingers on certain posts as I find it difficult to respond the way I should. It's come back to bite me in the rear occasionally as I realize my post came across as snippy. I truly never mean to be snippy.
I really do hate that this bothers me so much.
