[nerdkink]

Hello!
I am new to this site and I just wanted to start by telling people about my life and ask for help.
so I am a stay at home mom, with a 19 month old girl and a 10 month old puppy. Both are starting potty training. I have to be with each of them all the time, even if the puppy has gotten me to walk more, my hunger has gotten crazy! Don't forget the endless cleaning. When I do get a chance to cook or eat out, I get something big. Sometimes I get full while I am half done with the meal or I would need seconds. I hate wanting to eat more! I really don't have time to make a nice lunch or breakfast, I normally snack all day or eat nothing til my husband comes home. But then, I end up having a huge meal and I wake up in the middle of the night hungry.

I feel crazy and stressed all the time! I look at myself in the mirror and cry. Which is something new.

I need help on balancing everything.

[rockinrobin]

Welcome to 3FC! So glad that you're here.

A few things.

Firstly, you must realize and come to terms that any and all time spent on getting you to and keeping you at a healthy weight is time VERY well spent. It's will benefit you and your whole entire family. There is always time to be healthy. Always. Always. Always. You must make the time. It must be a priority of yours.

Getting healthy (losing the weight) won't happen on it's own. You have to set out to do it. You can't wing it. You've got to prepare for it and PLAN for it. Every day.

I count calories - it keeps me from going for seconds. It's built in accountability and forced portion control. Something I greatly needed (still do). I can not rely on my intuition, as it tells me to keep going and going. HAving a calorie budget to adhere to was my way around that. And it's been working out beautifully for over 4 years now. Fitday.com is one of the many online calorie counting websites to get you started.

Another great tool: Food journaling. It doesn't go into my mouth until it's written down on paper first.

But where my calories come from really, really matters. I like/need/want volume. I look to be full and satiated and avoid being hungry. So my calories can't be spent on *junk*. I need wholesome foods. Ones that stave off cravings and don't send me into a feeding frenzy. I rely on lots and lots of veggies (voluminous), low fat proteins, no fat dairy products and some fruit.

I also rid my home of the junk. You can't eat it if it's not there. After a couple of difficult weeks (the detox period), the cravings decreased immensely. The longer I went without it, the less I wanted it. It was miraculous.

Though I rid my home of many foods, I ADDED in lots more. It is always stocked with healthy, low calorie food items - string beans, squash, grape tomatoes, spinach, cukes, salad fixings, chicken and turkey breast, fish, grapes, apples, veggie burgers, etc...

Add in a bit of activity and exercise. Purchase an inexpensive resistance band for strength training. Take those babies out for a walk, put the radio on - get dancing, get moving.

Probably the most important thing though - is the planning. I plan out all my meals and snacks IN ADVANCE, knowing before hand exactly what I'm eating. Much easier to stay on plan, when you've got one. Those snacks are important by the way. They keep me from getting starving. Being hungry sets me up to make poor choices. Again, you've got to find the time, somehow, some way to make this work. It's just that important.

I'm sure a lot of what you're doing is just going by what you're used to. Habit. Luckily habits can be broken and new (and better ones) formed. That will take some time though. There will be some uncomfortable moments as you lose those old ones and bring in the new ones. But that's okay. It will pass. You will be creating a new normal for yourself and eventually (and not all that long), these new healthy habits will be, just that - habits. And it will be automatic and natural for you.

You've got the ability to do this. You are capable of it. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to. It is your choice. You are in control!!

Make the decision to do this, commit to do this, be willing to put forth the effort, set yourself up for success - and you absolutely CAN accomplish this.

I look forward to hearing of your progress.

[srmb60]

This weight loss thing is all very new. That, in itself, can be overwhelming. And then if you toss in the overwhelmingness of your home life ... whew!

Take a breather once in a while and come to 3FC and read. You'll find lots of ideas from young Moms and busy folks of all shapes and sizes.

I think one of the most prevalent notions you're going to read is prep! There are several diet plans that don't necessarily encourage three square meals a day. Snacking isn't so bad as long as you are armed with good choices. Just make sure you always have lots of good food choices in the house and get rid of the bad choices.
I can't comment on going out to eat much. Around here, not only is that inconvenient, it's quite expensive.

Let's see what the others have to say.

[Shmead]

In addition to Robin's excellent post, I just wanted to point out that your daughter needs a mom at her high school graduation way more than she needs to grow up in a clean house.

One of the biggest steps for me was realizing that making something a priority means putting it first. That sounds stupid, but before when I "made weight loss a priority" I just meant "I'll stress and feel guilty about it a lot", but that doesn't do any good at all.

For example, I am a teacher. In order to lose weight, I've had to be a less effective teacher. Used to be, no matter how tired I was, if a kid asked me for help, I would stay. If there was a band or choir concert, I was there. I still do my job, and I am still very good at it, but I am not quite as available. I say NO to kids if I need to exercise, or if I didn't bring a healthy snack and need to go home RIGHT NOW before I get too hungry. So there are kids who got a little less of an education so that I could lose weight. That was unthinkable for 10 years--but it turned out ok.

I've also put weight loss in front of my marriage. That doesn't mean I've abandoned my marriage, but where as before I wouldn't have taken a minute from "spouse tv time" for exercise--I didn't want to disappoint-- this time I realized that being a priority means putting it first.

You have to make it a priority, and that means making some other things less of a priority.

As far as eating out goes, the trick is to plan your menu in advance (using on-line nutritional information) and never even look at the menu. Menus are food porn, designed to get you to make unhealthy ( and expensive) choices.

[losermom]

I cannot stress how great all of the suggestions that all of the previous posters have made are. But potty training both a toddler and puppy?! Whew! I did the same thing and nearly lost my mind! Girl, you need a

[thesame7lbs]

Hi Nerdkink and Welcome!

I remember the Fall when my first daughter was born, I was so busy and overwhelmed, I would eat nothing but Halloween candy all day long, until dinner. Literally days and days where, had I kept a food log, it would have said, "candy candy candy candy candy chicken rice broccoli. Ice cream." I remember saying, "I'll be dashing out the door and realized I haven't eaten anything all day and it's right there and so easy to grab. I can't manage to prepare/eat anything else!"

Of course, looking back, I probably could have grabbed baby carrots from the fridge. Or a yogurt. Or an apple. Or a lowfat piece of cheese. I just would have had to buy them first. And throw away the candy.

(We had two big dogs at the time so I can relate to the chaos a dog contributes to the household. One word: crate. And I hear you on the cleaning. I can get a little OCD about the house, so I feel like I spend 98% of my life as unpaid maid. And I don't like that at all.)

Fast forward: my daughters are 7 and 5 and my DS is 20 months. So I have a sense of where you are, except that the third child is just so much easier! I eat a healthy breakfast every single day without fail. Healthy lunch, every single day without fail. I cook most nights. It's all about planning. It's all about having the right foods in the fridge so they are at my fingertips. (It helps to NOT have the wrong foods, but that's harder with a family). My husband works approximately a gazillion hours a week, so I don't get a lot of help there.

As far as a specific strategy, I tend to get my son started first. I make his meal and get him settled in his seat and make my meal while he eats. Then I either join him or, if he's done, set him free to go destroy the house.

All this to say, I think the answer is planning. Plan your meals and snacks for the whole week. Make sure it's food you like, because it helps when you actually want to eat what you have. Maybe do some prep at night before bed -- I know, one more thing to do at night before bed. 9Do you ever get the feeling that all these people who suggest we do things before bed have no idea how tired we are at night? And how there are only so many minutes between baby's bedtime and ours?) But seriously, if you buy a bunch of baggies and put the baby carrots in little baggies right now, then when you're headed out the door, they are right there, easy to grab!

Also, walk walk walk. A tired dog is a good dog. It's good for both of you.

You can do this!

[beerab]

You definitely can do this- take it a step at a time if you feel overwhelmed. Today write down everything you eat and find out how many calories you are consuming. Joining a calorie counting site like sparkpeople or the daily plate can help you with this. Then change things, get rid of the junk food, you don't need it, your kid doesn't need it, your SO doesn't need it.

I'd start walking more- the puppy needs walks and you can take him and put your kid in a stroller and go for walks to get some exercise in. If you decide to count calories I suggest starting at 1800-1900/day.

Good luck! Don't give up! Remember- you don't have to be perfect, you just have to keep trying till you find what works for you- never give up.

[Matilda08]

You can do it! I am a single mother I attend college and I also work. It was very hard to balance it all when I started this in 2008 and I did lose 35lbs but this year I was right back up to 250 and I realized that I needed to make ME more important and thats what ive been doing and its working. Make time its possible and like others have said planning is KEY! Good luck

[nerdkink]

Thank you everyone! I got myself a journal and I will start my food journal. I am also joining FitDay.com and I will be going to Trader Joe's this weekend
I have to admit that I am a little scared of putting my family in the "back seat". I am used to always pleasing everyone around me.

I also forgot to add that my weight didn't start being a problem until I had the baby. I was the same size, in jr. high and high school, a size 16 and I ate what ever I wanted. When I was preggo I was a size 18 and I ate, everything. I am now a size 22 and though I want to eat like I am preggo, but I know better.
Also I never had an issue with sweating until this year, I have always been a hot person, but I never was a sweaty person. This is not good for me :P

[rockinrobin]

Originally Posted by nerdkink

Thank you everyone! I got myself a journal and I will start my food journal. I am also joining FitDay.com and I will be going to Trader Joe's this weekend
I have to admit that I am a little scared of putting my family in the "back seat". I am used to always pleasing everyone around me.

Oh no, no, no.. Please don't think this way. Making yourself the best you possible will free up to be the best mom/wife/caretaker possible for your family. There is no question in my mind about that. When you are at a healthy weight, you will be shocked to see how much more stamina and energy you have. You will feel better about yourself and be able to do more for the ones you love. Conquering your weight will also give you a huge sense of accomplishment, feeling as if there's nothing you can't tackle. That will shine through in other areas of your life as well. The quality of the time you spend with them will be much higher.

The time, effort and work spent on getting and remaining healthy IS a labor of love. Yes, you're doing it for you, but boy oh boy will the whole family reap the benefits.