Some questions for those who have lost weight and gained it back

Vixsin · 09-08-2010, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My Michelle

I would also point out to myself that you can't exercise away a bad diet, period, and I know because I tried. I just became a very athletic fat person.

WOW!!!

Did I relate to that!!! I am still re-reading that page of my book everyday!

That is the single piece of advice that I have told the most people lately. So

on that and a big Amen!

Leonor · 09-08-2010, 01:37 PM

I regained 6 months after my weight loss. I got clinically depressed around what would have been my brother's birthday. I gained 3 pounds and then didn't go into "must lose" mode. I ate to comfort myself, I did not even have any carvings for the food, it was almost compulsive.

I suggest you make some meal lists of regular food and calculate how much of that you can eat. Just because there's lasagna doesn't mean you need to eat 1000 calories of it. Cook less and don't keep accessible leftovers.

TERAPET · 09-08-2010, 09:16 PM

I am a yo-yo dieter. I think my biggest problem in the past is I have always set a number as a goal and when I get there, I slack off and slowly return to bad eating habits. I have had to change up my menus a lot to lose weight and I simply do not expect to ever return to my old way of eating. For example, we used to eat either pasta, rice or bread (all white, of course) at every meal. Now I consider those things treats to have very sparingly. I do think peer pressure helps quite a bit. I always managed to keep it off when I was home with my kids but when I worked, that was bad. I have been unemployed since May and I have lost nearly 25 pounds. I have no idea exactly what will happen when I get to maintenance or when I get a job again but I think I will be okay this time.

luckymommy · 09-09-2010, 03:17 AM

I have gained and lost the same 50 or 60 lbs. more times than I care to count.

I have a child with special needs and that has been a HUGE challenge for me because there is nothing to get used to. There's nothing but unpredictability and I have used the pain and anxiety that I experience as an excuse. But what happens? I end up having all the same problems....except I'm also fat.

I have a major food addiction and I must never forget that....if I could go back to the me before all this yo-yoing, I'd tell myself that if I don't get this done once and for all, I will ruin my body forever. Yes, now I have so much flab and loose skin that it will never be normal. I can never wear shorts (unless they're long shorts) and my stomach will always have a flap of skin coming down. Yes I can hide it in clothes but it would have been so nice to really GET this early on. I really hope you do so that you can avoid all that I've been through.

ringmaster · 09-09-2010, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckymommy

I have gained and lost the same 50 or 60 lbs. more times than I care to count.

I have a child with special needs and that has been a HUGE challenge for me because there is nothing to get used to. There's nothing but unpredictability and I have used the pain and anxiety that I experience as an excuse. But what happens? I end up having all the same problems....except I'm also fat.

luckymommy, I've learned life around us can be unpredictable and in chaos, but remember one thing we always have control over is our food. It's hard, but it's the truth.

19Deltawifey · 09-09-2010, 01:30 PM

My husband has been deployed twice and soon he will be gone again for the 3rd time. I always lost weight when he was gone and so did my friends while their husband were deployed. We all have kids to make meals for but it was so easy to buy healthy food for us and the kids while they were deployed. It's easy to eat healthy foods while they are gone but once they came home we indulged in all the foods that our husbands didn't get to eat while overseas. My husband was craving lots of fast food, sweets, snack cakes, etc and of course from restricting myself for so long I would binge and overeat also, and so would my kids because they were restricted from those foods as well. After losing the weight it is so easy to start putting the weight back on and it comes on a lot faster then when it came off.

I honestly don't know if there is a way to remain 100% on plan when the husbands come home. But what I had to do was change my thinking about food, and the only way for me to be happy is to eat everything in moderation because the more I restrict the more I binge when I lose control. I haven't binged in a long time and I'm confident that when he leaves and then comes home that I will continue to be able to eat in moderation. I don't think I answered your question but when I was CC and tracking all my food I found it really hard to do that when my husband was here. I don't know if I have any advice since I only know 1 wife who maintained the weight loss but it took her several years and several deployments and I think this was her husbands 6 deployment when she finally knew how to maintain the weight she lost. Her husband had been in the Army for 17 years and I think around the 14 year mark is when she finally lost the weight and kept it off but she also had 4 kids back to back. She lost the weight by doing WW but for the maintaining part she eats everything in moderation.

ETA: Also my weight loss was always 20 lbs. I gained weight after giving birth to my 2 kids and never would lose all the weight but I was always at a comfortable size which was a 12/14 when I reached goal

19Deltawifey · 09-09-2010, 01:40 PM

- How long after reaching goal did you fall off the wagon and start spiralling back up? As soon as he got back I started gaining, me and my friends would call each other a week after they got back and we would always end up talking about how horrible we have been eating since they came back.

- Was it a specific event or situation that knocked you off the wagon or did you just get gradually looser with good decisions? Going from only having healthy options in the house to having snack cakes, brownies, cookies. I went crazy and couldn't stop

- I know this is a broad question, but were there any reasons that stand out that caused you to regain the weight? Losing the weight with an unsustainable lifestyle, change in routine, etc? I always did WW when he was gone but eating low fat all the time was not satisfying and once I started eating high fat foods again the weight came back on and then some.

- Also very broad...if you could travel back in time to visit yourself when you were first starting to regain the weight back, what piece of advice might you give yourself? I don't know, I would probably tell myself that I can eat all of this food in moderation. When he got back I kept telling myself that I couldn't eat these foods, and this is why I had zero control when the food was right in front of me. If I would have given myself permission to eat these foods I would have been able to stop once I was satisfied. But constantly trying to restrict and resist is what set me up for failure.

Shannon in ATL · 09-09-2010, 02:10 PM

Mkendrick, I know that you have lots of life changes coming up but you can definitely maintain. I still cook great meals for myself and DH, not always baked chicken breasts. Like another poster said, I just figure out how much I can eat of some things and have carefully planned go to recipes. I imagine that soon to be DH will appreciate the food if it keeps the happier, more vibrant and sexy you around. (Not that you weren't sexy or vibrant before by any means, just saying that your posts scream how confident you feel and how happy you are with your look now. I know that I am after my loss and exercise shaping, so I radiate sexy so much more than I used to, if I'm projecting me onto you I'm sorry.

)

I worry that you are looking at your upcoming life changes and have already decided that you are going to fail and are looking for excuses? Someone on here has a signature 'if you fail to plan you plan to fail'. You have done such a great job and look fantastic. You can absolutely make a plan to survive the life changes and come out on top.

If I could give one piece of advice it would be to start to make your plans now so you can survive. You didn't just diet, you changed your life. This is a perfect time to make plans for the other changes coming in your life.

I know this isn't what you asked, but it has been weighing on me since I read your first post and you have been in my mind. Again, not trying to offend and sorry if I did.

I did lose and regain over and over in my past as well, including losing before my first wedding and then putting the weight plus some back on in the next couple of years, losing after I got divorced, regaining plus some, losing when I met now DH, regaining after he and I got married, and now maintaining with a happier life, better diet, tons of exercise.... If I could do it again I would change so many things, but it would all come back to planning and better choices.

Eliana · 09-09-2010, 02:23 PM

I think Shannon hits on some good points. Megan, many of us self-professed yo-yo's didn't have the power of the internet when we got married. We hadn't read post after post by maintainers about the life style change required. We hadn't read until we were blue in the face that maintaining is not so different than losing. We didn't have the support that you are getting right here.

You have the tools and the knowledge not to get complacent.

You won't. You'll be just fine.

I think you're at a tender age right now where your life is extremely active and you don't even realize it. Just be conscious of that and you'll do fine. Movement should continue to be a big part of your life, and of course, watching the calories.

starbrite · 09-09-2010, 02:38 PM

Wow, what a great thread. This is something so many of us deal with. There is a high associated with losing weight. It's like a drug - the more you lose, the more the comments come. Watching the numbers fall is so motivating and so pleasurable. LAST time I lost weight I lost 110lbs. Then my mother in law, whom I was very fond of, died very suddenly. Then a few weeks later my brother and his wife committed suicide in a joint suicide pact. My world was rocked. The day after their funeral we travelled to scatter my mother in laws ashes. That weekend I ate goulash, dumplings, trifle, and then had second helpings. Somehow the food helped ease the terrible grief I was suffering.
That was not the only cause. After losing 110lbs I was left with a stomach like a deflated balloon. I had promised myself I would have surgery to get rid of the apron of skin on my stomach. After the deaths, I didn't think it mattered.
Also my relationship with my husband had begun to suffer. He loves me no matter what, but we didn't seem to fit together anymore. He was resentful and so was I. I feel I put the weight on because of all these things. Infact there are actually no excuses. I put the weight on because I ate too much - simple.
It did not take more than a year to gain over half of the weight. I was then in denial about the next half of the weight. Then in denial about being back to my original weight. It has taken me two years to have the courage to do this again. My father in law was dying and I decided it's now or never. I chose to begin this current and last journey, at a time when many things were stressful, to prove to myself I could do it. My father in law has subsequestly died, and I have coped. For me this has been such a mental roller coaster.
I intend to succeed once and for all.
Girlfriend, you can do it too. Keep focussed, know your limitations and stay strong. Wishing you every success with everything life has mapped out for you

Katheryne · 09-09-2010, 03:37 PM

I lost close to 100 lbs, and was 11 lbs from my goal when I started regaining. It's been tough, knowing that I was SO CLOSE after years of work, and now I have to do it all again. It's overwhelming to think that I have another couple of years work ahead of me, to achieve what I'd already essentially achieved but didn't care enough to maintain.

Anyhow, here are the answers to the questions:

How long after reaching goal did you fall off the wagon and start spiralling back up?

I didn't get to goal. I was extremely close. I went from 250 lbs to 146 lbs, with a goal of 135 (just in the healthy BMI range for my height).

Was it a specific event or situation that knocked you off the wagon or did you just get gradually looser with good decisions?

It was a specific event for me that triggered the start. I went through a horrific breakup with the guy I had been dating for 3.5 years. It was bad in a lot of ways, and it really crushed my confidence. I went through a long period of self loathing and depression, probably close to a year, and a lot of bad choices came along with it (e.g. "Why not order pizza? I'm ugly/worthless, so eating that entire pizza myself isn't going to make any difference"). I essentially was constantly binging, eating until I was sick, and gained a lot of weight in a short period of time.

After I stopped feeling sorry for myself it became "well, I've gained so much weight back already, I may as well have fast food for lunch for the fourth time this week." If it wasn't that, it was "I'll start to eat healthy on Monday," which kept getting pushed back week after week. Meanwhile, since I recognized I needed to make changes and needed to make them soon, I was eating crappy food in huge amounts with the mentality that I should eat as much as I can now, because soon I'm going on a diet and won't be able to eat them at all. That "soon going to be on a diet" phase lasted months.

I know this is a broad question, but were there any reasons that stand out that caused you to regain the weight? Losing the weight with an unsustainable lifestyle, change in routine, etc?

I basically answered this in the above answer, but it wasn't an unsustainable lifestyle or change in routine for me. It was just a broken heart and depression that it took me a while to get out of. It isn't a good excuse, and I recognize that now, but at the time I didn't give a rat's behind that I was just making excuses for bad behavior.

Also very broad...if you could travel back in time to visit yourself when you were first starting to regain the weight back, what piece of advice might you give yourself?

Gaining 5, 10, 50, even 100 lbs does not give me the excuse to continue to eat badly. Just because I made a bad decision this morning, or yesterday, or months of bad decisions stringed together is not a reason to continue making bad decisions. That was probably my downfall. Once I started on the path to regaining, I found it nearly impossible to get back to making good decisions. I'm back there now, but with another 100 lbs to lose in front of me.

JessLess · 09-11-2010, 08:53 AM

When I met my husband, he didn't exercise. After about a year I stopped going to the gym too. He didn't care what I weighed so we ate pizza and Chinese food in front of the TV fairly often. Now I know that I cannot do that, that I will have to keep exercising and counting calories forever.