LOL, Sacha, I was thinking this same thing as I was reading. For years I "wanted" to lose the weight, I would "do anything" to be thin... but in reality, I wasn't ready to give up _______________ (fill in the blank).
I think a lot of people want to be thin, but they aren't ready to do the work and make the sacrifices. They will ask what we do, but when the answer isn't "a magic pill that lets me eat whatever I want while I sit on the couch watching bad reality TV," they know they are not ready.
I give advice only when asked, and then not again. Leading a horse to water and all that...
I couldn't agree more. I almost feel like a hypocrite when people talk to me like I am a weight loss expert. For years I didn't do such a great job with my weight and I wasn't ready to accept a change. It is a great accomplishment that we have all lost so much but no one stops to congratulate the people who have never had a weight problem and those who have managed to maintain a healthy weight their whole lives.
I have also had people look at me in disappointment when I told them that good old diet and exercise was the "secret" to my weight loss. A lot of people are looking for that miracle quick fix and they become disappointed when they find out there is really isn't one.
If I'm feeling saucy, I tell people I'm following the Thermodynamic Diet, which correlates the energy intake from food with the energy output needed to optimally run a slender, healthy body.
When they look all interested, or press me for more, I grin and say "I eat less and move more"
When they ask, I put on my serious face, and I tell them: "It's a lot of work." I can see right away that they're taken aback. I usually don't go into any further details, unless they ask. And then I say: "I work out a lot. And there are a lot of things I just don't eat anymore."
It's a rare person who pursues the topic any further than that with me.
It's the word "work" that puts them off. But for some reason, it's important to me that I use that word. Because I know that I work hard at this. Like as many hours as someone would at a part-time job. Sometimes it comes a little easier, on occasion it's even automatic & unthinking, but very often I'm making an effort. And I want them to know that it's not effortless.
I've lost enough now that it's noticeable and I get asked by people at work "How are you doing it?" When I say 1200-1300 calories a day and atleast an hour of exercise a day...they just roll their eyes. What do they want from me? "Oh I take a magic pill at 2:15am under the moonlight and chant" Come on..anything worth having, is worth working for...right? LOL
I've lost enough now that it's noticeable and I get asked by people at work "How are you doing it?" When I say 1200-1300 calories a day and atleast an hour of exercise a day...they just roll their eyes. What do they want from me? "Oh I take a magic pill at 2:15am under the moonlight and chant" Come on..anything worth having, is worth working for...right? LOL
ahhahahhahahhaah this seriously made me laugh out loud. Thank you, I needed that.
Now that I have lost a lot of weight, I get this constantly!! And it can be really frustrating for me. I tell them I use sparkpeople, putting a plug in for that, and that I eat a lot of veggies, some fruit, lean meats and whole grains, but stay within my calories for the day. And I exercise five days a week for at least 45 minutes.
I will say most people are satisfied with that - even if I get the: "I don't have time to count every calorie I eat, must be nice to have time to exercise, etc etc." I do get pissy sometimes, and I tell them once you have stuff loaded into SP it's not that hard, and I did start getting up over an hour earlier than I used to in order to get my workout done. Which always seems to get some eyeroll or something similar. I just feel the need to explain that yes, I made sacrifices to get this way!
What is sort of irritating me now honestly is I have a friend who keeps wanting to know what I'm doing, exactly how I'm eating, etc. I offered to just share my food logs with her on SP, because honestly - I eat how I eat. I eat what makes me feel satisfied. Some days are not great, but I rarely exceed my calories. Some days, yes, I have very few fruits and veggies, some I have very little carbs....it all depends on my mood. I just don't really have the desire to lay out a nutrition plan for someone else, and I feel like that is what she wants. I find this somewhat frustrating. I have spent a lot of time figuring out what does and doesn't work for my body, and how to feel full within my calories, and indulge now and then without going off track. But it's so personal, and I don't think it's something I can do for someone else.
Ha the difference is I would never ask for advice cause I didn't give a crap. I knew what needed to be done and I'm still surprised people don't understand the concept.
I haven't run into this much. My coworkers have been good at potlucks making sure there are some things I can have. They will clear the table after we eat so I don't keep snacking. We remind each other to eat and drink when we are working long hours. We pick up healthy food for each other in those situations if we are out of packed food or didn't get packed food. People cover for me and take pages when I go to exercise class. (I do the same for them of course!) My administrator's hubby is diabetic and they do atkins, so she brings me desserts sometimes, and I send her home with stuff for their supper on the atkins plans. I am grateful to be with such a supportive work environment. It would be harder to lose weight without their support.
I've noticed my co-workers are convinced it's all about exercise and refuse to take the diet part seriously. "How do you exercise? How much do you exercise?" followed up by ten reasons why they can't exercise like they want to. But the fact is, they use "I can't exercise" as an excuse to eat pizza, like if you can't exercise it's hopeless so you might as well eat whatever. I keep saying "diet diet diet" but they want to believe it's all about exercise. Exercise is important, yes, but it does no good if you won't back away from the fried chicken once in a while.
For years I "wanted" to lose the weight, I would "do anything" to be thin... but in reality, I wasn't ready to give up _______________ (fill in the blank).
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Exactly! Our actions speak louder than words. When we say we want to lose weight, but don't exercise and eat right, our actions speak louder than words.
I have also had people look at me in disappointment when I told them that good old diet and exercise was the "secret" to my weight loss. A lot of people are looking for that miracle quick fix and they become disappointed when they find out there is really isn't one.
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Most people know how to lose weight. The ones who have not been successful aren't willing to do the work.
I have spent a lot of time figuring out what does and doesn't work for my body, and how to feel full within my calories, and indulge now and then without going off track. But it's so personal, and I don't think it's something I can do for someone else.
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We can help without rescuing. I don't know how to live your life. I don't know all the answers for myself yet. We can only do so much for others, the rest is theirs to do. It is too taing to take care of an adult.
I can relate and I think it simply comes down to people being lazy. They don't want to put the work in to plan their meals and build up their self control and exercise regular and exercise hard. This IS work and everybody is just looking for the easy way that unfortunately doesn't even exist!
Saef originally postedWhen they ask, I put on my serious face, and I tell them: "It's a lot of work." I can see right away that they're taken aback. I usually don't go into any further details, unless they ask. And then I say: "I work out a lot. And there are a lot of things I just don't eat anymore."
It's a rare person who pursues the topic any further than that with me.
It's the word "work" that puts them off. But for some reason, it's important to me that I use that word. Because I know that I work hard at this. Like as many hours as someone would at a part-time job. Sometimes it comes a little easier, on occasion it's even automatic & unthinking, but very often I'm making an effort. And I want them to know that it's not effortless.
Saef, thank you for this post. It is work and it is an accomplishment. I put my weight loss up there with getting a college degree. I have avoided saying, "It's a lot of work." because people have told me that I should not work at this so much, that I am obsessed, etc. When I was working on my master's no one told me that I should not work so hard or that I was obsessed. Why shouldn't I put this much work into getting healthy?
From now on, I think I am going with your response, "It's a lot of work." and be proud of it!
I agree with you time2lose..I am totally obsessed! I am on that scale at least once a day and I look at food way differently than before. I've almost brainwashed myself. But come on I used to be obsessed about when my next meal was coming and will it have bacon. This is a better obsession and anyone who tells you not to work hard at it, is clearly unmotivated, jealous, and wants to bring others down. Good for you! Kepp it up!
ahhahahhahahhaah this seriously made me laugh out loud. Thank you, I needed that.
