Honestly, I use that as a big part of my motivation. I'm tired of saying, "Well, you coulda, shoulda, woulda..." to myself. That gets really old. The only way I won't hear that from myself is if I do like rockinrobin said so eloquently above -- commit to myself and to the changes, and stick with them.
Sometimes when I'm faced with a touch choice, I even tell myself, "OK, if you want that, don't come whining when you're not at the size you wanted to be at." Generally that's enough motivation to get me back in line.
I go back to college next week and I gave myself ALL summer to lose like 25-30 pounds, and I'm so mad at myself, because if I had actually stuck with it, I could be a different person now. But now at the end of summer... I'm kinda the same practically.
Just a little rant. Not blaming anyone but myself lol.
According to your ticker, you've lost 11 lbs. Was that this summer? If so, you should celebrate a successful summer--imagine stacking 11 boxes of butter up--THAT is what you have lost. Add to that the weight you might well have GAINED this summer if you had been totally ignoring your weight, and you've done an impressive thing. Keep doing it, and by next summer you'll be there.
I used to do this, too, but honestly...I finally came to the realization that I was using this kind of thinking almost as a crutch, or as a reason to continue on in my unhealthy ways. So I have abandoned "all or nothing" thinking. There is no such thing as "throwing in the towel" or "blowing it".....there is only a series of decisions. There are good decisions and there are bad decisions; the goal is to have the good decisions outweigh the bad, and that's how progress is made.
I also have removed the time frame from all my goals. I have long range, broad goals, but for me, the whole "lose 20 pounds in 8 weeks" types of goals have always spelled disaster, because as soon as I have an off-track week I realize that I won't meet the goal and so I feel like I have failed. So now I do my best to set behavior-based goals..."I will stay on plan for this week." "I will walk my 2 mile route five times this week." These types of goals are things that I can actually control, and eventually I will see results.
Anyway, that's what works for me. So think about setting behavior based goals that are concrete. "I will lose 20 pounds over the summer" is too vague for me, because I need an ACTION list, know what I mean?
Looks like Heather, Robin, KOcean, LoriBell, BorntoFly all had some really good advice back then...
I think 11 lbs over the summer is quite an achievement. A lot of people would be super-psyched about that.
That said, if you are disappointed, try to use this as a learning experience. Look back over your summer and try to identify the times when you made decisions that set you back. But also remember to give yourself credit for the things you did that helped you lose 11 lbs!
Reading your original post, I did not even notice the 11 pound loss until thesame7lbs pointed out. You should be pleased with loosing 11 pounds. You could have easily gained that much if you are like me.
Windchime and Robin said it all for me. I had to remove time frames and commit to changing my behaviors. When I failed, and I did many times, I just had to get back on track. It has worked for me.
Ya know how "they" say "it is not the destination, it is the journey" or some gobbletygook like that? well... I think it applies. It is about the permanent changes you make, no matter how small... the things you learn from and grow from.
I agree with all the PP that said it is easier when you take away the time frame. I have still be setting goals, but if I don't make them in time, then I set a new time (see my sig below!). For me, gaining weight back has become a NON OPTION. Even if I stop here and never lose another single ounce - gaining weight back is not an option. I just focus on maintaining on days when losing is too hard. That way, when things are a bit easier tomorrow, I can pick it back up again.
There is no such thing as "throwing in the towel" or "blowing it".....there is only a series of decisions. There are good decisions and there are bad decisions; the goal is to have the good decisions outweigh the bad, and that's how progress is made.
Ya know how "they" say "it is not the destination, it is the journey" or some gobbletygook like that? well... I think it applies. It is about the permanent changes you make, no matter how small... the things you learn from and grow from.
I agree with all the PP that said it is easier when you take away the time frame. I have still be setting goals, but if I don't make them in time, then I set a new time (see my sig below!). For me, gaining weight back has become a NON OPTION. Even if I stop here and never lose another single ounce - gaining weight back is not an option. I just focus on maintaining on days when losing is too hard. That way, when things are a bit easier tomorrow, I can pick it back up again.
i know 11 pounds may seem like a lot, but i don't look different! its kind of disappointing.
Okay. So you're disappointed (though I too think this is nothing to sneeze at) - now what? What does this mean for you? How are you planning to move forward from *this*? Any lessons learned, plans to tweak? What can you take from your experience and improve?
I've been dieting since I was 5 years old, so I've done this to myself dozens and dozens, if not hundreds and hundreds of times. So much of my life was wasted punishing myself - and this thinking was part of it.
I didn't "waste my life," just parts of it. And even so, fretting, worrying, and getting mad at myself has never done any long-term good at all. I am not a person who benefits from self-punishment (I'm not sure anyone really does - at least not without a terrible price being paid).
Regretting my choices just wastes more time. I've never lost weight so slow, but I've never lost weight so permanently as I have now. I haven't gained weight in more than 5 years. That's a level of success I've never experienced before. I almost can't believe it.
My only "secret" vowing never to give up, even if I stopped losing, even if I saw small gains - I was going to keep doing what I needed to do to eventually get to my goal. Some days and even some weeks I don't try to lose weight - I just focus on maintaining. If I know the week is going to be stressful, I prioritize and sometimes weight loss drops from the number 1 priority slot, but I never let it drop off the page, like I did in the past. There is no such thing as an "eat whatever I want, even if it makes me sick" day. I used to have a lot of those.
What does drive me mad sometimes (if I let myself dwell on it) is how many times in the past, I gave up for "failing" better than I am "succeeding" now. If only I had not chosen to see small successes as HUGE failures.
I can kick myself in the teeth for everything I haven't done, or I can pat myself on the back for what I have - and keep going.
Thinking about what I could or should have done only makes me feel hopeless - lazy, crazy, or stupid.
It gets in the way of celebrating and perpetuating success.
There are a lot of ways to lose weight, and a lot of different speeds. Some people believe only fast weight loss has merit, that if it can't be done quickly, it's not worth doing at all. That thinking leads to epic failure for a lot of people. I think more people give up because of perceived failure than actual failing. It's not that their not succeeding, it's that their success doesn't seem significant enough to be worth the effort.
You can't undo any of your choices. What's done is done. Understand the errors, but move on with as little self-recriminations as possible. Life is too short to dwell in a big pile of poo. See the good, learn how to avoid the poo, and when you find you've stepped in some, don't sit and wallow in it.
I used to do this, too, but honestly...I finally came to the realization that I was using this kind of thinking almost as a crutch, or as a reason to continue on in my unhealthy ways. So I have abandoned "all or nothing" thinking. There is no such thing as "throwing in the towel" or "blowing it".....there is only a series of decisions. There are good decisions and there are bad decisions; the goal is to have the good decisions outweigh the bad, and that's how progress is made.
I also have removed the time frame from all my goals. I have long range, broad goals, but for me, the whole "lose 20 pounds in 8 weeks" types of goals have always spelled disaster, because as soon as I have an off-track week I realize that I won't meet the goal and so I feel like I have failed. So now I do my best to set behavior-based goals..."I will stay on plan for this week." "I will walk my 2 mile route five times this week." These types of goals are things that I can actually control, and eventually I will see results.
Anyway, that's what works for me. So think about setting behavior based goals that are concrete. "I will lose 20 pounds over the summer" is too vague for me, because I need an ACTION list, know what I mean?
So true!! This has been a lesson learned for me as well through many trials and many errors.
Gone are the time goals. My body doesn't lose weight in the same manner I think it should. It does not directly match what I do...at all. So instead of losing X pounds in a year's time...I'm just staying on plan for a year's time. I gave up the poundage part. Now it's more like, gee, I wonder how much I can lose if I just stick with it for a year. Secretly, I was hoping to lose 100 pounds in a year. But looking back now 9 months in, I've lost 65 pounds. That's nothing to sneeze at, even if I'm not going to meet my 100 pounds goal. That's why the number is so silly! If I could do it over again, would I quit because I wasn't going to meet 100 pounds lost in a year? That sounds absurd, doesn't it? But that's exactly what I would have done had I made that my goal.
So maybe now your goal could be, I wonder how much weight I could lose if I stayed on plan each and every day from now until Christmas.
You've lost and kept off 11 pounds this summer. Absolute congratulations. That's a great accomplishment and a very healthy rate to lose it.
And now you've built some healthy eating habits that will support you through the Freshman year of college. This is the year that counsellors will tell you that Freshman gain 5, 10 or 15 pounds! You've just had 7 weeks of great practice of making better eating choices. Now you'll have an opportunity to carry what you learned and what you may want to improve on into a new environment. Sure there will be challenges, but you've make an 11 pound impact and you can do more.
College campuses usually have excellent exercise facilities and opportunities that are already PAID FOR with your activity fee. Somewhere on campus there will be at least one room with exercise equipment, there will be opportunities and places to play tennis, basketball, swim - just about any sport you care for. Hate sports? You'll have places to walk more, bicycle, whatever you like or can try and learn to like. If you try some of these exercise opportunities, you're more likely to meet people who are interested in a healthy lifestyle. Making friends with these folks will support the changes you're trying to make.
This is a great time in your life and a great opportunity to continue the changes you've started. Best wishes.
