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So I saw a picture of myself (you know how that goes)

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Old 07-19-2010, 11:27 AM   #1
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Default So I saw a picture of myself (you know how that goes)

Yikes. It's amazing that even though I never ever for even one second don't feel fat, I am still surprised when I see an actual photograph taken in an unguarded moment. It's on facebook (posted by someone else) right now and my initial reaction was to ask my friend to take it down but ya know what? That's what I look like. The only person surprised by that picture is me.

I have been sitting around feeling sorry for myself for weeks, months, YEARS and making excuses as to why I can't start today or forgetting that I had intentions of starting today but oh wait, I forgot, how did those pancakes get in my mouth? It's just time. I saw a photo of myself in my own home and didn't RECOGNIZE myself for a split second. I thought, WOW. That chick is FAT. Gulp. And she's wearing my clothes.

I can not live at this weight for even one more day. I think I have finally reached the tipping point. I have been saying for years - I wish I could quit fast food,junk food,Diet Coke,and just plain overeating the same way I quit smoking: without any regret, without looking back, and without missing it for even a moment. The smell now gags me and when I see other people huddled up outside smoking, I don't envy them. I think how much it must suck to have to find a place to stand in the cold or the rain or the heat just to smoke. I just totally lost any desire for it and one day started thinking of myself as a non smoker and that was it. I'll never go back. I had that one experience that was a turning point and I never gave it a second thought. Addiction dead.

Before I quit smoking, I always thought that "one day" I would quit and it would suck. I would not smoke, but I would go on wanting to forever and ever and life would be one long white-knuckle drag with no joy forever. I mean, THAT is how much I liked smoking (you must like something if you do it 20+ times a day) and that has kind of been my thinking all along with trying to lose weight: that one day I would just screw up my courage and stop having stuff I love and life would be one long joyless slog forever and ever but at least I would be thin. I think that picture, seeing what all my bad habits are DOING to me, has finally tipped things in another direction. I think I want to NOT look like this WAY more than I want to eat any amount of just about anything you can think of. I hope this is my "quit" moment and just like with smoking, I have found that visual that will see me through.

I think I can finally see that the momentary joy of eating that cheeseburger (or that 4th slice of home made bread) is never going to be as enjoyable as having a normal life. I think I'm ready to let go.
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:41 AM   #2
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You're in the right place for support. Get a copy of that picture and stick it in a drawer, or your wallet.
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:43 AM   #3
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Quote:
I think I'm ready to let go.
I hope you are--I really hope you are! I think you should print that photo and keep it somewhere. Not where everyone can see it, but where you can go and look at it every time you get the idea that a Coke and some horrible fast food chunk of carb/fat/salt is what you need.

I promise you that you'll get over wanting those junk foods the way you do now--but to have that happen you'll have to stop eating them, at least for the present, just as you had to not pick up a cigarette to quit smoking.

I quit smoking, too, and I know just how hard it is--but I also know that I wouldn't have been able to quit if I had cheated and smoked "just one or two on the weekend" or some such nonsense.

That's why when I see someone post that they cheated on their weight loss program by eating crap food, I feel so sorry for them. It could take them days and days to stop craving it again.

Hang in there. Come up with a realistic program for food that you can follow without feeling deprived. Even just having hamburgers at home using whole grain bread and lean ground beef would be better than anything you can get at a fast food place.

Good luck!
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:46 AM   #4
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OMG!!! I could have written that myself!! I too, have been taken aback by pics of myself.. I look like jabba the hut in a pic, and I think WTH, when did I start lookin like that??? I also quit smoking almost 9 years ago and haven't looked back!! It's crazy how you can be soo controlled in one area and so outta control in others!!! I am with ya!!!
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:48 AM   #5
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Different circumstances, but I had to come to that tipping point for myself also. I haven't been on here long at all, but it's already proven to be a great place for support and inspiration. Good luck!
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:51 AM   #6
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Even just having hamburgers at home using whole grain bread and lean ground beef would be better than anything you can get at a fast food place.
I have to agree! I thought I was doomed when i started this diet, but...we got super extra lean ground beef, (I think its like 3% fat) Whole weat buns, and low fat cheese. After a few days of chicken and fish, that burger tasted just as good as a McDonald's burger would have, and it wasn't even half as heavy in my stomach! I actually even made a few onion tots for myself and still stayed under my allowable calories, I felt positively satisfied, and not guilty! The first few days are really murder if you are used to eating what you want, when you want, and how you want, but the way you feel a few days after those first few days, totally beats the way that burger tastes, or how it makes you feel after you taste it! Stick with it, there are plenty of people here to support/help/and suffer along with! We can all do this and reach our goals!
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Old 07-19-2010, 11:57 AM   #7
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I promise you that you'll get over wanting those junk foods the way you do now--but to have that happen you'll have to stop eating them, at least for the present, just as you had to not pick up a cigarette to quit smoking.

I quit smoking, too, and I know just how hard it is--but I also know that I wouldn't have been able to quit if I had cheated and smoked "just one or two on the weekend" or some such nonsense.
I think you're so right. With smoking, I had a kind of combined and complicated way of looking at it: I'm an adult. I CAN HAVE anything I want. No one else is making me quit, it is my decision and if I ever really really want to, I can smoke. At the same time, I had an uncle who lost part of his FACE and THROAT to cancer. He was a long time smoker. To see this big, strong person become just a shell of himself (he did pass away, it was a long and torturous two years) and knowing that if I continued smoking, I was possibly setting myself up for something similar? No, thank you.

As for my issues with food, I think I can finally see on the outside just what it is doing to me. No one my size, who eats what I eat and in these amounts can possibly be healthy (disclaimer: I am sure there are overweight fat people, I am aware of the fat acceptance movement, and I am sure there are some people who mysteriously weigh nearly 300 pounds despite getting regular diligent exercise and eating a strictly healthy diet. Let me assure you, I'm not one of them), and combined with my largely sedentary lifestyle I am killing myself. I have a four year old and I'm 37. If I die young, I am going to miss out on her life and leave her without a mother. I am also her biggest influence so if I want her to be fat and unhappy then I am on the right track.

It's like a million thoughts just finally fell into place in my head and I get it. There is no fast food drive through in the world that's worth dying for. I am sure lots of people can continue to lose weight and have a little bit of fast food or the odd deep fried whatever, but I think I'm not one of them. I'm still an adult and I can still have whatever I want, but I think there are some things that just don't belong in my life anymore. I think they misery of what they are doing to me FINALLY outweighs how good they might taste (or how easy they are to acquire).

I realize that weight loss is different for everyone and for lots of people, it's not all or nothing and I'm not looking to argue about that. I think I've finally had my food equivalent of my quit-smoking moment. I have been trying FOR YEARS to figure out how to lose weight with "moderation" - maybe "moderation" was never the way for me.
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:01 PM   #8
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I know what you mean @ Nite..the weight creeped up on me over the past year...I saw a picture of me tagged on fb and i was devastated. Ive always avoided scales since i hit the 200 mark so i didnt know how much i weighed @ that time. i decided to get on the scale at work and omg was i not 232?? the highest point of my life...I then got off my behind and did something about it..as suggested above..print that picture and put it on your mirror!! that I did. also write little notes to yourself why you do not want to go back to where you were! and lastly..rely on others for support.thats why we all are here
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:28 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
That's what I look like. The only person surprised by that picture is me.
This hit home!
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:50 PM   #10
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I gave up smoking while losing weight and never packed on a pound from it because I had finally decided I would not let food rule me and my health any longer so I don't.

Good for you on quitting smoking. You CAN lose weight and we are here to cheer you on to victory

Good luck and keep us updated with your progress
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:29 PM   #11
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Well, the picture thing, ahmm... yes, me to.
Also stopped smoking from one day to the other (used to smoke up to 3 packs a day), and always wished it would work that way with food, but food you can not stop so there I had it. Back to the picture thing...... yickes!!!

I started a few weeks ago and lost weight fast. Currently I am very slow, but just returned from vacation in Germany and Italy, so I lost only about 1.5 to two pounds in two weeks, but I lost.

I hope to loose my pounds faster again, and actually start liking more fruits and veggies.
I am very convinced that you and I can do it, after all we did show will power

Good luck to you!!!!!!
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Old 07-19-2010, 01:49 PM   #12
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Thanks so much for all the well wishes and your success stories!

One thing I do have to my advantage - I actually really REALLY like fruit and vegetables. I tend to like healthier, whole foods. I am just very very LAZY and fall into the convenience trap (which is also the expensive trap) quite a lot. Give me a lightly braised endive and I'm in heaven. Hook me up with a baked apple with a little cinnamon and I'm thrilled. Oatmeal, the real kind, might be my favorite food. I love trying new fruits and vegetables and I especially love finding them locally. I get excited when I find a farmer's market and it's not for the scones and butter! I just so often fall back on...oh well, it's just so much easier to drive through. LAZY. I have to kick LAZY in the rear.
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Old 07-19-2010, 02:15 PM   #13
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I can so relate to you - I was sort of waffling about getting healthy a few months back (december, actually), knowing it would be a lot of work, and blah blah blah. Then I went to a public meeting for my work, and there was a semi back/profile of me - that really showed me how HUGE my butt was (being a wonderfully pear shaped woman anyway). It was in the NEWSPAPER. I was mortified. It's there for all of history to see when they are researching power transmission lines - OMG. It did put me over the edge, and I have changed my life.

And yes, this will be like smoking, I have such confidence in you. I know we were stuck stopping at a McD for the kids a few weeks ago, and you know what? There was nothing that I wanted. I used to pull up to McD trying to decide which fat laden thing I would get, because we do rarely get fast food anyway, but this time I just looked over the menu disgusted. I did eat because I was hungry and it was the only option, but even at that - it wasn't good. It was food, it filled my belly for not an insane amount of calories - but it was far from good. I feel the same way now about soda and other things that used to tempt me.

I wish you the best of luck!
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Old 07-19-2010, 03:06 PM   #14
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ORSewmama, thanks so much for responding. Our starting weight is similar...it's so encouraging to see other people who were around my weight who are losing it. I can remember being 160 and thinking I was just the fattest person in the whole world and here I am 120 pounds heavier than that? That's a LOT of weight to lose. I'm glad to know it can be done!

And at least I wasn't in the paper! Just on facebook. I didn't ask them to take it down but I untagged myself faster than you can say "google."
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Old 07-19-2010, 04:49 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
One thing I do have to my advantage - I actually really REALLY like fruit and vegetables. I tend to like healthier, whole foods. I am just very very LAZY and fall into the convenience trap (which is also the expensive trap) quite a lot.
I am a woman of convenience... Ziploc Zip 'n Steams are my friend! I have veggies EVERY day (I think I once went an entire year without eating veggies...). I just stuff them in a bag and toss them in the microwave. You can add spices, seasonings, etc.
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