Why do we always want what we can't have...
...so I'm thrilled, I'm entering maintenance, I'm getting ready to start training for my first half marathon, life is good in general...but...I WANT another baby! It's insane, I mean right now is so not the time. The issue is that financially another child is NOT an option right now, but EVERYONE I know is pregnant right now...so because I can't have it I want...so stupid.
But I just keep thinking, if we could have another child right now, would I really want to? For one thing my first isn't even 2 yet so the TERRIBLE twos are rearing their ugly head, but even more so, I'm just entering maintenance and the thought of not getting a chance to enjoy my new body and gaining weight is depressing. And of course, can't exactly train for a half marathon while pregnant. So maybe part of me is glad that we can't right now, because maintaining and training are pretty important to me at this stage in the journey, but I still can't help but feel like a member of our family is missing...I guess I just wish I could be satisfied with the life I have, I mean it's really wonderful and having lost the burden of obesity just makes it so much sweeter. I feel like I don't feel as happy as I should about almost reaching my goal, because I'm still wanting something else. Are we ever satisfied with anything?
268 lbs - Journey Begins (January 11, 2006)
197 lbs - 71 lbs lost (October 15, 2007)
247 lbs - 50 lbs gained pregnancy (August 22, 2008)
195 lbs - baby weight gone (July 7, 2009)
168 lbs - 100 lbs lost (March 26, 2010)
148 lbs - GOAL! 120 lbs lost (July 18, 2010)
138 lbs - 10 lbs under goal (December 29, 2010)
PR 1/2 Marathon - Time 1:59:50 (November 11, 2012)
PR Marathon - Time 4:40:53 (March 18, 2012)
Today 140s & training for my Health
"There is nothing you can't have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today."